The following was posted over at The Art of Womanliness by my daughter, Jeanne Adams. It's a "kick!"

"Six married men will be dropped on an island with one car and 3 kids each for six weeks.

Each kid will play two sports and either take music or dance classes

There is no fast food

Each man must take care of his 3 kids; keep his assigned house clean,correct all homework, complete science projects, cook, do laundry, and pay a list of "pretend" bills with not enough money. In addition, each man will have to budget in money for groceries each week.

Each man must remember the birthdays of all their friends and relatives,
and send cards out on time.

Each man must also take each child to a doctor's appointment, a dentist appointment and a haircut appointment. He must also make one unscheduled and inconvenient visit per child to the Urgent Care (weekend, evening, on a holiday or right when they're about to leave for vacation).

He must also make cookies or cupcakes for a social function.

Each man will be responsible for decorating his own assigned house,planting flowers outside and keeping it presentable at all times. (The men will only have access to television when the kids are asleep and all chores are done. There is only one TV between them, and a remote with dead batteries).

Each father will be required to know all of the words to every stupid song that comes on TV and the name of each and every character on cartoons.

The men must shave their legs, wear makeup daily, which they will apply to themselves either while driving or making three lunches.

Each man will have to make an Indian hut model with six toothpicks, a tortilla and one marker; and get a 4 year old to eat a serving of peas.

Each man must adorn himself with jewelry, wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes, keep their nails polished and eyebrows groomed. The men must try to get through each day without snot, spit-up or barf on their clothing.

During one of the six weeks, the men will have to endure severe abdominal cramps, back aches, and have extreme, unexplained mood swings but never once complain or slow down from other duties.

They must try to explain what a tampon is for when the 6-yr old boy finds it in the purse.

They must attend weekly school meetings, church, and find time at least once to spend the afternoon at the park or a similar setting.

He will need to read a book and then pray with the children each night without falling asleep, and then feed them, dress them, brush their teeth and comb their hair each morning by 7:00. They must leave the home with no food on their face or clothes.

A test will be given at the end of the six weeks, and each father will be required to know all of the following information: each child's birthday, height, weight, shoe size, clothes size and doctor's name. Also the child's weight at birth, length, time of birth, and length of labor, each child's favorite color, middle name, favorite snack, favorite song, favorite drink, favorite toy, biggest fear and what they want to be when they grow up.

They must clean up after their sick children at 2:00 a.m. and then spend the remainder of the day tending to that child and waiting on them hand and foot until they are better.

They must have a loving, age appropriate reply to, "You're not the boss of me".

The kids may vote them off the island based on performance. The last man wins only if...he still has enough energy to be intimate with his spouse at a moment's notice.

If the last man does win, he can play the game over and over and over again for the next 18-25 years..eventually earning the right to be called 'Mother!'"

Views: 72

Tags: children, mother


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Comment by Brad White on October 30, 2009 at 3:19pm
In this challange, the true man will always win. This is why.

1st, he will sit down with his children and let them know that they must prioritize their lives. School is 1st, church is 2nd, chores are third and extracurricular activities come a very distant 4th.

Then he will let the children know that school, church, chores, 2 sports and music/dance/art is entirely too much for them to be responsible for. If they are succesful with school, church, and chores, they may choose one extracurricular activity.

The true man will then spend time teaching his children to take care of themselves. He will do this by assigning them chores to help clean the house, cook, and do the laundry. He will have the older children be responsible for supervising the younger children in these activities.

He will happily take a direct interest in the education of his children, helping them as needed and letting them struggle as needed. He will never complete homework or a school project for them. He will let them know that they are fully responsible for doing their own work. No excuses. If there is something the child doesn't get, the true man will immediately contact the teacher and work out something for the benefit of the child.

The true man will pay the bills. He will cut back on unneeded expenses (like too many extracurricular activities for the kids) until the outgo does not exceed the income. He will budget for and perform all grocery shopping.

The true man will write down all birthdays on a calendar and all family and friends vital statistics in an alphabetized journal. Since money is apparently tight, he and the children will each write a note for every friend and family members birthday. Cards are too expensive. These notes will be written and mailed whenever the bills are payed.

The true man will do whatever is needed for the health of his children. He will also make every effort to schedule appointments that are the most convenient for him and his children. He will not blindly make 3 different appointments for each child to visit the same doctor for non emergency appointments. He will spend the extra 10 minutes with the clerk to get an appropriate appointment. If the clerk cannot help him, he will talk with the doctor/dentist/professional to get the appropriate appointment.

Assuming that the children are not the same sex, the man will find an inexpensive unisex hairsylist. The family will make a picnic lunch, go to the stylist together, go to a park and eat lunch. The man will trim the hair of the children between haircuts in order to make the haircuts last longer and save money.

A true man will happily cook something for a social function, but since every other woman who is coming to the function will be bringing cupcakes or cookies, a true man will make beer batter hot wings. Is there any real question which will be eaten faster?

The true man will keep his lawn mowed and rip up those stupid flowers and replace it with a rock garden.

I gotta admit, the dead batteries on the remote will be a struggle.

The true man will teach the kids the words to classics like "In A Godda da Vida", "The Marine Corps Hymn" and "100 Bottles of Beer". The man will happily sit with his children and watch cartoons.

As the man sharpens his bayonet, he will continually check the sharpness by cutting the hairs on his leg. A true man will not use makeup because he is happy with himself the way he is and doesn't want to put on a false front. He will not drive unsafely and he will make the children responsible for making their own lunch, with the oldest child supervising.

The man will not make any models a child is supposed to make for himself. The true man will not have to reason with a 4 year old. Since the child helped make the peas, and helped to make them the way they want, they will eat the peas.

I will adorn myself with my wedding band and any jewelry made for me by my children. I will wear my wingtips. My nails will be clean all of my hairs will be trimmed (eyebrow, ear, nose, beard and pubes). The areas of my face that need shaving will be shaved at least daily. If my clothes get dirty, I will change them and wash them.

In addition to the pulled muscles, torn cartiledges, slipping discs, etc. a true man will put up with any and all discomforts in support of his family. He will listen to his wifes complaints with true sympathy.

A man will never have to explain what tampon is for when the 6-yr old boy finds it in the purse because a man will not carry a purse.

The man will attend church with the family at least weekly. He will attend school meetings that are needed for the education of his children. If there are no problems, this will cut those meetings down to about 3 a year. The true man will spend time with his children at the park, cooking, cleaning, fixing the car, mowing the lawn, reading books, eating dinner, watching TV, doing homework. He will not limit his quality time with his children by doing something with them only once in 6 weeks. He will also make sure to spend time individually with each of his children.

A true man will take great personal pleasure in reading to and with his children at any opportunity. A man will pray with and for his children multiple times a day.

The man will teach and expect his children to be able to feed and dress themselves as well as perform daily hygiene on themselves. The man will verify that all is done every day. The true man will make sure that his children are always ready to face the world whenever they leave the house.

Any test questions will be answered by the information on the calendar and in the journal.

Again, a true man will do anything needed for the health and welfare of his children.

A true man knows that the only proper, loving, age appropriate reply to "You're not the boss of me!" is a quite but firm "Yes, I am."

The true man knows that if he is voted off of the island, he has done what he needs to do to prepare his children to be happy, healthy, productive members of society. Not only will the man have enough energy to be intimate with his spouse at a moments notice, he will have the desire because she is beautiful and he loves her.

Win or lose, the true man will play the game over and over and over again for the rest of his life, through his children and grandchildren and god willing his great grandchildren. He will do this not for a reward from their children or their neighbors or their spouse. Nor will they do this in order to be friends with their children. They will do this because they are men and men take care of children.

Oops, gotta go, I hear the wife coming.
Comment by Herb Munson on October 29, 2009 at 4:14pm
:) ... I stand down. You are the Alpha-Ape.
Comment by James! on October 29, 2009 at 4:05pm
Waaahhh! Why is the juxtaposition against men needed for empathy then Herb? And you will respect my chest thumps sir.
Comment by Herb Munson on October 29, 2009 at 3:21pm
"Thump Thump!" combined with ear-splitting Tarzan call. It's called empathy you big jerk. :)
Comment by James! on October 29, 2009 at 3:12pm
What man in his right friggin mind wants to be called mother?! We are fathers! Boo! As if it is all a man can do, to just function and get through the day with tripping over something, yet women are such martyrs. How cute.

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