I have figured it out.
I thought about it. I vigorously rubbed my two brain cells together for an extended amount of time. Friction was created between the two of them, which in turn generated an actual...introspection.
A theory if you will.
I have often wondered if there was any truth to women's claims that we men tend to become more whiny in our infantile need to be "mommy'd" when we are ailing, bedridden, feeble, and feverish.
I must first preface this by making you understand that I am speaking in generalities and not specificity.
So take it easy.
I have come to the conclusion that there is some truth to this claim. And I base this claim off of my individual perspective of the world in which I live and work. For you see, it appears to me,
Now take it easy,
that the ladies, are sick...all of the time.
Everyday, woman have something that hurts, cramps, or causes pain. From migraines to menstruation, from mammalgia to menopause. Woman have something wrong with them almost every day of their adult life. And they are not afraid to tell people about it.
However...I understand that it is not their fault. I don't know what God was thinking when He designed the woman's body, but for some reason He felt it necessary for them to suffer more unreasonably than men . Woman have more moving parts, especially downstairs, than men do. And the more moving parts you have, the more likely something is going to break down.
And it does.
All of the time.
Men don't have to deal with cramping, bloating, bleeding, hot flashes, menstruation, Pre-menstruation, pregnancy, urinary tract infections, breast tenderness, breast cancer, vaginal discharge, endometriosis, ovarian cysts, yeast infections, and hormonal fluctuations capable of sending a woman into extreme fits of irrational bi-polaresque rage.
The type of rage that makes me question our society's fear of sending woman into battle. WWII would have ended a lot quicker had we unleashed PMS'ing or craving deprived pregnant woman after the Nazi's.
War over in a week fellas.
Woman have more things going on in their bodies than men do. So, woman have learned to deal with them better and with a greater sense of independence. They have to.
This is coupled with the fact that woman are more likely to admit there is something wrong with them and seek medical help and actually stay home from work and get better.
Woman have developed a unique sense of independence when it comes to their health issues. Woman, generally speaking, cannot always depend on their husbands or boyfriends to give them the type of "mommy'ing" that they most likely desire, so they have learned to live with it.
Men are men. Men don't do "mommy'ing". Therefore, generally speaking, men suck at making woman feel better when dealing with issues they, we, I, can never understand. Men ARE concerned for their women, but in our inability to know what to do about it, how to FIX it, our concern often comes across as being unconcerned, or assholish, or, inconvenienced by the fact that their woman is not well.
We want to fix, not nurture.
Men, on the other hand, do not get sick as often as woman - generally speaking.
God, for some reason, blessed us with an anatomy that contains less moving parts. And when we finally DO admit to not feeling well, when we finally DO admit that we need a doctor, when we finally DO stay home from work - we whine more.
Why? Because we are not USED to it. We are not used to going through the bodily trials and tribulations that woman have become accustomed to. And being men, married to woman, we get "mommy'd" because it is in a woman's nature to provide that service.
So, men capitalize on their woman's desire and innate ability to care for and nurse their men back to health.
And so we whine because our pain tolerances are significantly less than that of women. But this is only because of the frequency in which we are taken ill.
We whine more because women respond to it better than men do.
When women whine, men see it as weak. When men whine, woman see it as an opportunity to nurture.
So ladies, it is your fault that we are big babies when we are sick.
I look forward to your letters.