According to our stats page, yesterday someone stumbled onto our site after typing, "what causes men to be passive?" into the magical Google machine.

I suspect the answer to that question is probably a bit more complex than I could ever hope to answer in a blog post and there are probably just as many different causes as there are kinds of men out there, but I have a few ideas.

For me personally, I suppose my occasional spells of passive behavior probably come from one of about five different motivatores:
1. If I'm unsure of myself or my abilities in a particular situation, that is, if I lack confidence, then I sometimes tend to take the passive route. 2. If I don't care about the outcome of a particular scenario, that is, if I am ambivalent, then I sometimes tend to take the passive route.

3. In a difficult situation, if I don't want to rock the boat or risk upsetting people, I may take the passive route. Being a people pleaser is definitely something I struggle with.

4. Sometimes passivity is the result of laziness on my part. For whatever lame reason, it just seems too difficult to take an active role or position in whatever scenario is calling for it.

5. If I don't know what to next or if I don't know how to fix a problem, then I sometimes default to the passive approach. Many times, the passive approach just feels easier than putting in the difficult emotional or mental investment required to figure out what action to take next.

So that's me. What about other men? I don't know, but I suspect passivity in men probably comes from a combination of the five motivators above plus a few others. I'm not entirely sure what causes other men to be passive, but if I had to guess, I'd probably put the following four reasons on the list, as well:
1. Fear. Sometimes, when a man is afraid, he leaps into action. And yet, other times... he freezes and becomes passive. 2. Genetics. For some men, I feel like passiveness is just wired into who they are. Not good, not bad, just different. This is by far the most difficult one to deal with if his passivity happens to affect you in some way.

3. Intimidation. I guess this one isn't much different than my #1 above, but if a man is overwhelmed and intimidated by the complexity of a particular scenario, he may take the passive route.

4. Busyness. Some men who seem passive on the outside may not be all that passive at all. They might just be too busy to take action on a particular issue and so they come across looking passive.

That reasons above are by no means meant to be an exhaustive list, but that's my brief take on why men are passive. I guess a lot of it probably also depends on the scenario and the man himself.

Faithful readers, all four of you, what do you think makes a man passive? Feel free to answer from either from your own subjective point of view or what you perceive in others.

http://findingmanhood.com

Views: 1214

Comment

You need to be a member of Art of Manliness to add comments!

Join Art of Manliness

Latest Activity

Sir replied to George Corbul's discussion Dressing in style - what am I doing wrong?
"This looks helpful.  images.google.com, looked for men's styles, and it gave a huge list of refinement keywords: urban sporty retro americana punk indie rockabilly hip hop grunge hamptons mediterranean new…"
4 hours ago
Shane replied to George Corbul's discussion Dressing in style - what am I doing wrong?
"The Italians I worked with were always sharply dressed even when casual. That's why I suggested it. I'm not a fashion kind of guy, so I can't really describe it, but I can tell the difference between European and American dress even…"
5 hours ago
George Corbul replied to George Corbul's discussion Dressing in style - what am I doing wrong?
"oh yeah, forgot to mention - I absolutely hate the hipster look! hmmm, maybe a Bob Dylan inspired style?"
5 hours ago
George Corbul replied to George Corbul's discussion Dressing in style - what am I doing wrong?
"Google'd "men's style examples", didn't like the bigger part of the results, but will look more closely. I actually did this before, and even saved a bunch of pics, but once I tried some of the styles on, they didn't…"
5 hours ago
George Corbul replied to George Corbul's discussion Dressing in style - what am I doing wrong?
"Eh, no, it's actually the other way around - it's the Bratva that dress like most east Europeans, so as to blend into the crowd, obviously.I'm not much of a 'celebrities' person. Most of the celebrities' styles that I…"
5 hours ago
Sir replied to George Corbul's discussion Dressing in style - what am I doing wrong?
"I suggest you look around internet for pics of men dressing the way you want to look... and thereby identify what it is."
8 hours ago
Shane replied to George Corbul's discussion Dressing in style - what am I doing wrong?
""Moldova" hmmmm I did notice Eastern Europeans tended to dress like Russian Mafia. But, that's neither here nor there. Since you're trying to upgrade your wardrobe, look outward for inspiration. Here in the states, I tell people…"
10 hours ago
Shane replied to Conor's discussion I need help moving on, it's been six weeks now.
"Dive into yourself. Don't go out. Dont log in to chat rooms or forum boards. Don't do anything except work on you. Start lifting and eating right. Learn everything you can about exercise and nutrition. Take the nofap challenge. When…"
11 hours ago

© 2017   Created by Brett McKay.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service