According to our stats page, yesterday someone stumbled onto our site after typing, "what causes men to be passive?" into the magical Google machine.

I suspect the answer to that question is probably a bit more complex than I could ever hope to answer in a blog post and there are probably just as many different causes as there are kinds of men out there, but I have a few ideas.

For me personally, I suppose my occasional spells of passive behavior probably come from one of about five different motivatores:
1. If I'm unsure of myself or my abilities in a particular situation, that is, if I lack confidence, then I sometimes tend to take the passive route. 2. If I don't care about the outcome of a particular scenario, that is, if I am ambivalent, then I sometimes tend to take the passive route.

3. In a difficult situation, if I don't want to rock the boat or risk upsetting people, I may take the passive route. Being a people pleaser is definitely something I struggle with.

4. Sometimes passivity is the result of laziness on my part. For whatever lame reason, it just seems too difficult to take an active role or position in whatever scenario is calling for it.

5. If I don't know what to next or if I don't know how to fix a problem, then I sometimes default to the passive approach. Many times, the passive approach just feels easier than putting in the difficult emotional or mental investment required to figure out what action to take next.

So that's me. What about other men? I don't know, but I suspect passivity in men probably comes from a combination of the five motivators above plus a few others. I'm not entirely sure what causes other men to be passive, but if I had to guess, I'd probably put the following four reasons on the list, as well:
1. Fear. Sometimes, when a man is afraid, he leaps into action. And yet, other times... he freezes and becomes passive. 2. Genetics. For some men, I feel like passiveness is just wired into who they are. Not good, not bad, just different. This is by far the most difficult one to deal with if his passivity happens to affect you in some way.

3. Intimidation. I guess this one isn't much different than my #1 above, but if a man is overwhelmed and intimidated by the complexity of a particular scenario, he may take the passive route.

4. Busyness. Some men who seem passive on the outside may not be all that passive at all. They might just be too busy to take action on a particular issue and so they come across looking passive.

That reasons above are by no means meant to be an exhaustive list, but that's my brief take on why men are passive. I guess a lot of it probably also depends on the scenario and the man himself.

Faithful readers, all four of you, what do you think makes a man passive? Feel free to answer from either from your own subjective point of view or what you perceive in others.

http://findingmanhood.com

Views: 1154

Comment

You need to be a member of Art of Manliness to add comments!

Join Art of Manliness

Latest Activity

Errol Alger posted a photo

"Forced Helplessness," 1993

One of my most prized works of art was made in a state of emotional bondage to some truly horrifying childhood experiences. Thankfully, concurrent with a restored relationship with my biological father on Thanksgiving Day 2009, all the disabling…
2 hours ago
SilverBackMale joined Ryan Scott's group
Thumbnail

Fountain Pens

“My two fingers on a typewriter have never connected with my brain. My hand on a pen does. A fountain pen, of course. Ball-point pens are only good for filling out forms on a plane.”-Graham GreeneThis group is for those who love fountain pens.See More
4 hours ago
Sir replied to Mongoose's discussion Methinks "Manly" is a Misnomer?
"I am not sure they exist, but if they do: are they right? These definitions say they aren't. If people think it's honorable to lie, cheat, and steal, this doesn't redefine "honorable," but only shows their lack of it."
12 hours ago
Michael J. K. commented on thehuhman's group Manly Mentors
"hello men hope things are going okay for everyone I know this time of year can be hard"
13 hours ago
Jack Bauer replied to Mongoose's discussion Methinks "Manly" is a Misnomer?
"Kind of a case-in-point on the "opinions can be wrong" statement above. Something like childbirth that is distinctly womanly cannot be manly, whether you consider it "strong and courageous" or not. This is the same kind of…"
13 hours ago
Jack Bauer replied to Mongoose's discussion Methinks "Manly" is a Misnomer?
"Opinions can be wrong. Often. JB"
13 hours ago
Johnny P. replied to Mongoose's discussion Methinks "Manly" is a Misnomer?
"I think women are very courageous and strong because they bear children. Which can lead them to die, still does, and did for many years in our early history. Is child birth manly? If one connects courage and strength then, Yes it is.…"
15 hours ago
Johnny P. replied to Mongoose's discussion Methinks "Manly" is a Misnomer?
"Mongoose yes the vague definition of an orange "item" is any "item" which is orange."
15 hours ago

© 2016   Created by Brett McKay.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service