You've heard it before.
The old man tells the boy, "I have two wolves inside me. One is angry, and the other is peaceful. They are always in conflict, each pulling me its own way."
"Which one is stronger?" the boy asks.
The old man says, reflectively, "The one I feed."
Sounds wise, doesn't it?
But here's the question: have you ever known anyone who successfully starved the anger to death?
I haven't either. The analogy breaks down when you think about what these two wolves are. Each of them is you
. You can kill a part of yourself, by suicide (!), but not by deciding not to think about it. How'd not thinking about it work with your appendix? Your broken leg? Your divorce?
Think of the whole system. Those wolves are in conflict. One wants to destroy the world with anger, it says; the other wants it to shut the hell up. But let Peaceful Wolf say "Go ahead," and Angry Wolf will say, "Whoa. I thought you were going to restrain me. What do I do now? We had a deal!"
Instead, give Angry Wolf what it really wants, whatever that is. What's it angry about? Honor? Then honor it. Deprivation? Care for it. A demand for order? Give it some order. In its own space. If it says, "I want to complain and bitch and moan forever," say, "You can have 10 minutes. Bitch and moan all you want." It's sort of like a child: it sees everything in huge terms.
Peaceful Wolf wants to be accepted, to have love and harmony, and its own order. Give it to him.
Bottomless pits stop being bottomless when you give them what they need.
Then Angry Wolf -- or, rather, Protector Wolf -- can rejoice when you take charge; so can Peaceful Wolf.