"It can be done, but I don;t recommend it it. There are a few factors to consider too:
Your age, how new is your relationship and were you friends with this person first.
When I was younger and first dating my wife, I was friends with a…"
Stein's Blog - It's Happening to Me.
I have thought for a while as to how I was going to share this information, and there is no good way. I have always worked hard to be a good man, a fair man, an honest man. I have given my all to being a good husband . I have partnered with my wife on many levels, shared with her, made decisions with her, suffered with her, raised our children with her and listened to her.
Apparently this has not been enough for her. She has filed for divorce. She says she is miserable , and though I have made many requests is unwilling to go to counseling. I still love her, even though she has not been a perfect wife. Neither have I been a perfect husband. So after 24 years of marriage she has had enough. she wants more, she wants to explore, but outside of our marriage.
I feel as if I have simultaneously been kicked in the ass and punched in the gut. I saw things deteriorate, but wanted to work on their repair.But she did not want to. WE had the usual financial and kid problems that often cause couples problems. I thought we could work through them.
I used to look at the people I represented and thank the heavens that my marriage would never end that way. But those times passed. Our daughter just graduated high school, and will be off to college,and our son will be a high school junior in the fall. My wife understands now that we are going to share custody of him equally, as that is what he wants. He treasures his relationship with both parents. I worry that my daughter will feel like a displaced person with no home. We are going to put our house on the market, and the only home our children have ever known will be sold.
So now I have to take the advice I give to every other man I represent. I will not check my balls at the door. I will assert my wishes and expectations. I will get counseling help. I will not allow myself to continue to live in despair or live a life denying myself of the things I want.I will not denigrate my wife to my children. They are a reflection of us both. I'm not going to blame myself, but will take responsibility for whatever I did to contribute to this state of my marriage. I don't hate my ywife or hate women. I don't want to be alone. I want love in my life.
This year has sucked. It has been too full of grief and sadness. I wish could turn back time. I can't WE all have to move forward, and I will . This is a new chapter , and a new opportunity in my life, although I could have left this volume on the shelf.
I know that some of you look to me for advice. I appreciate it, and am happy to share the wisdom I may have gained from my experience. I'll continue to share with you. At the moment, I am still looking for my own answers.
Stein
Comment
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Comment by The Dutch Dastard on June 10, 2012 at 6:29am -
I can't agree more with Mr. Monster. You're a brave man for sharing, and the fact that you end your writing that you are happy to share the wisdom you might gain from the experience is just another proof of your character. Even in this tough time you think of helping the world with your wisdom. You worry about the consequences for your children, and i think the advice you gave yourself are the very best things you can do.
It takes a lot of man to take responsibility but not blame, and to not let your anger towards the situation evolve into hate for the person who is in the situation with you. You are the man that can do that.
You will always have our support.
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Comment by Margie on June 4, 2012 at 1:50pm -
I'm sorry you're going through this, Stein. I've been going through my own hard times so I understand how difficult it is. You know you have people here who care about you. I'll keep you in my prayers. Stay strong.
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Comment by Mike Wisbrock on June 4, 2012 at 8:51am -
Hang tight, Stein. Every day above ground is a better day. You know I'm local. You need anything local, you ping me.
Mike
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Comment by Carl Monster on June 4, 2012 at 8:33am -
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Comment by Stein on June 4, 2012 at 7:46am -
Thanks to all of you . It is great to be able to express myself here, and to reach out to you guys. I hope you find yourselves able to do the same, if the need arises. I also hope that my comments can be helpful to other men. I will keep you posted on developments.
Stein
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Comment by LShieldes on June 4, 2012 at 7:39am
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Thoughts are with you hoss
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Comment by Jack Bauer on June 3, 2012 at 11:45pm -
Sometimes, there's nothing you can say to a guy but "I'm sorry you're going through this". That sucks, man. Not sure if you're religious ... but my prayers are with you.
Stay strong.
Jack
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Comment by J. Hughes on June 2, 2012 at 1:58pm -
I am sorry Stein, I know with the recent passing of your sister and now this, this year would be tough to handle for any man. Look to your children, your friends, your faith, and your career and you will find your success and by any standard you are a man of character.
Sometimes you are tested and this will make you stronger as you come out the other side.
Let me know if you need anything,
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Comment by Liam S. on June 2, 2012 at 11:24am -
I'm very sorry to hear, Stein. But I think Shane's got it right. Your life is still solid, and you will get through this.
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Comment by Shane on June 2, 2012 at 11:08am -
Shit sucks, bro. You'll make it though. Wake up every morning and remember to breath. Work through the process with dignity and respect. The worst thing you can let happen at this point is having it degrade into a war in front of your kids.
Your life is still solid. You have your career. You have your kids. You have your friends. This is just one more thing.
Stay low, man.
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