Comment

Comment by Grant Hinner on December 27, 2009 at 2:17am

I understand everybody is different and that there are always legitimate reasons (not excuses). All that I can tell is from personal experience. I have a friend who has/had depression and is still going strong and is still touring and is in the process of making his 2nd solo album.

Another mate (and a mentor) who grew up in a part of Sydney where sex drugs and rock and roll were the norm. He has lost plenty of friends to hard drugs. Been a part of a reasonably violent punk surf scene. And is the kindest and down to earth, straight-talkin bloke I know.

And I've had OCD since I was about the age of 15 (23 now) and I've never let that stop me. Granted, I didnt know what it was and why I was slightly different until I was 18/19 but whatever. I have completed a diploma, have 1 year left in my degree, am in a graduate position with a firm in my field, have had numerous (woo! haha) girlfirends, a great circle of mates (we've all been friends for over 10 years now - which I dont know about america but because of the extensive schooling system here in urban Australia is pretty unique).

So yeah, I would say from what I have seen on the surface in this thread, I would say there is a lot of people that just, as plenty a brash aussie male would put it, "need to man the f#ck up!".


ps - sorry if my grammar and spelling is out! Tis xmas and I was surfing all morning in some sizey surf so my brain is a bit fried ;)

Comment by Nick Kroton on December 19, 2009 at 5:42pm

Q:Who wussified the guys in our society with psycho-babble excuses?
A:The shrinks, at the request of the drug companies. Go through a couple pharma companies' annual reports sometime and see what kind of drugs are delivering the most profit. The lion's share is heart medicine and antidepressants.

Q:Who told our young men that life was supposed to be free of challenges?
A: The media. Our culture now consists of quick fixes and instant gratification. We are exposed to so many advertisers promising that complete life satisfaction is to be had as long as we keep up with the Joneses, and modern mythology celebrates victimhood. After all, if one is a victim, he must be innocent of wrong doing. The successful man either got their through accident of birth or by oppressing others.

However, we all have our weaknesses, and just being told to "man up" about it helps no one. My current thinking is that setting a good example is the best way to help. Pointing fingers makes people feel resistant and defensive, but people are generally attracted to someone trying to do something good. So, look in the mirror and ask what are you doing to improve yourself? What inspires you? It's easy to complain about others, but much more effective to reach people through compassion.

Comment by Will on December 15, 2009 at 6:23am

I had enough purely emotional difficulty in life (10+ years of clinical depression) that I can't dismiss or deride people with such concerns. Also I had a former friend who killed himself last year after a couple of decades of bipolar.

While I was clinically depressed, I worked 4 years, then got a PhD, and then worked 3 more years in the job I'm still in. (It was the depression that ended, not the job!) So I'm also sympathetic to "get 'er done."

I don't know how to convince those who prefer to be disabled when they aren't really. If charity were done by individuals deciding where their money should go, rather than by faceless bureaucrats decided where other people's money should go . . . there'd still be abuse of the generosity of others. But less. People stop wanting to give when they see their money is doing no good, or doing actual harm. In such a case there'd be a purely practical reason for not unnecessarily embracing "disabled": the need to pay the bills.

That's what I would rely on to prevent abuse of charity. But for now it apparently doesn't work. And for those who are underemployed... dunno. I have a friend who can't hold down a job because he always explodes at coworkers eventually. Another (the suicide) who went from job to job to job because he couldn't stand them.

Comment by Jesse Frigo on December 15, 2009 at 4:06am

I'm pretty sure those things went away with the concept of being thin by eating well and working hard.

People are lazy by nature, some more so than others, and many would like nothing more than a magic pill that will make their dreams come true- a winning lottery ticket, liposuction and plastic surgery, and the answers to all the hard questions all rolled up into one.

I guess I can sympathize with your first friend- it is better to be healthy than to kill yourself for your job. When I get stressed my hands can sometimes break out in a rash. I first got this a number of years ago when I was pretty young and felt a lot of pressure from work. I learned my job well enough that it didn't last very long, but I can understand. I wouldn't call that a disability though, unless it was PTSD or related. I would consider it as a valid reason to change careers, or jobs at the very least.
J.