So what on earth is this image doing here? Well, this is how I feel.
It was not one long night but a Weekend, a weekend that, upon its end felt like the closing of an entire summer. I wept openly at that conclusion, and was not alone, for my brothers did too.
So what’s with the photo? Well, this is the closest I've ever felt to being like old Ebenezer that Christmas morning.
Ebenezer: I don't deserve to be so happy.
[laughing] Ebenezer: But I can't help it. [laughs and throws his pen away]
Ebenezer: I-I I just can't help it.
My brain wants to take me to the old, non-deserving me, the one who looked at the world through a veil of rejection, shame and sadness, and when I go there I find only joy. I laugh, and it’s a real one, not the fake chuckle that hides the darkness below, like a phony laugh track. This laugh happens over and over, and sprays out over the rest of my psyche, like champagne uncorked in joyous celebration.
Over the weekend I learned Mankind was my business, and in ways far, far more powerful than monetary generosity. I will give of myself, and receive in return the gift of my brothers. I understand what is behind that mere word, something so strong and redeeming I cannot put it down using more words.
In this new joy and lightness, in this connection of brotherhood I feel, for the first time, my own power. Indeed, the quote “Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.” now rings as a truth, and a challenge. I know there is a fire in me I can tap to drive my mission, what I know is my truth. The world needs healed, connected men who will fight for their truths, what they know is right.
The world needs me; I am indeed Warrior.
The weekend also confirmed I am already well on my way, the choices I have made since I started the journey to find myself as a man have all been good.
So I return to my life; very much on the same course, yet so changed. For a burden I carried inside has been lessened, a veil has been lifted so I can see.
Cheers, my brothers.