As some of the users on this website will know, I have been down in the dumps lately, and I've been very difficult to reason with. I've taken the negative energy of my own problems and put them out onto this website, and as well as appreciating the advice I have received, I have also had a harsh realization given to me by two particular members, who receive my thanks for opening my eyes to an important lesson.
I thought I was on the right track to finding the man I am supposed to become but obviously somewhere on the road I either lost conviction or lost sight of what I was doing. I thought I understood what being a man was but I forgot that if I am to be compassionate and virtuous I need to stop myself living either angrily or in the past. Neither of those ways of life change the circumstances and neither do me or others any good. While I can't change what has happened, I can make an effort to change my present and future and turn my own corner. I've made a vow to myself as of now I am going to work on reducing and eventually eliminating my expectations of life, as well and working on adding more shades to my black and white sense of thinking. None of these things are manly, and I will not only work on, but put the utmost of my efforts to not only finding out what the real meaning of 'too man up' is, but to be the man I want, not who my past and grudges are influencing me to be.
Because of this, I have devised a plan to put myself back onto a path that benefits both others and myself.
- Increase my hours of sleep, particularly putting more hours in before midnight
- Once my illness has cleared up, I will return to daily exercise and a better diet
- I will bring more time into each day to meditate, and work on cutting myself and others more of a break. Criticizing others or myself gets nobody anywhere.
- I may become quiet on here in future, but that is because I plan to limit my time on screens or computers of any sorts. More natural and outdoor related activities will replace my time inside if I can help it.
- Finding ways to have more fun and laughs with fellow men and family, and work hard on rekindling the bond of family.
Signing off for tonight,