Zach
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  • Warren, MI
  • United States
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Zach's Discussions

How Much Of A Part Should Your Significant Other's Family Play In Your Relationship?

Started this discussion. Last reply by Adrian Miranda Mar 27. 22 Replies

I have been with my girlfriend for four years this May. I truly love her and we get along very well most of the time. My girlfriend is very close with her mother as her father has been working out of…Continue

Connecting With People In Your Early 20's.

Started this discussion. Last reply by George Gibbs Dec 9, 2013. 13 Replies

Hello!I'm 22 and am going through what I believe to be a kind of rough patch as far as friendly relationships go.Growing up, I had tons of close friends who I spent virtually all of my time with. I…Continue

 

Zach's Page

Latest Activity

Adrian Miranda replied to Zach's discussion How Much Of A Part Should Your Significant Other's Family Play In Your Relationship?
"I could not have asked for a better mother in law, she really treats me like one of her own sons.  However I have seen similar situations with brothers and cousins, it is necessary to get a hold of this sooner rather than later, true you are…"
Mar 27
Andrew replied to Zach's discussion How Much Of A Part Should Your Significant Other's Family Play In Your Relationship?
"Spot on!  The only thing I will add to this is that maybe you need to have a discussion with your girlfriend's mother. Ensure her that you will take care of her daughter and that you don't need to be chased every step of the way. Then…"
Mar 27
Brad Williams replied to Zach's discussion How Much Of A Part Should Your Significant Other's Family Play In Your Relationship?
"Yes, this is exactly what I was thinking and well stated by JB. I once took a girlfriend home to stay with my family for about a week during Christmas.  My parents were not treating her nicely, so, after my girlfriend had gone to bad, I gave…"
Mar 26
Rick Shelton replied to Zach's discussion How Much Of A Part Should Your Significant Other's Family Play In Your Relationship?
"Explain to your girlfriend exactly what it is about her mother that ruffles your feathers.  Caution, do NOT talk bad about her mother.  Use phrases like "I feel..." or "She makes me feel...". My family is not involved…"
Mar 18
Stephen Jashub Comstock replied to Zach's discussion How Much Of A Part Should Your Significant Other's Family Play In Your Relationship?
"You're right Carl."
Mar 18
Stephen Jashub Comstock replied to Zach's discussion How Much Of A Part Should Your Significant Other's Family Play In Your Relationship?
"You're right. That's definitely something that needs to be discussed beforehand. My main point was, I don't think you should insist on your girlfriend's family playing a lesser role until you marry her."
Mar 18
Regular Joe replied to Zach's discussion How Much Of A Part Should Your Significant Other's Family Play In Your Relationship?
""There are techniques. The one I use with difficult people is "wall of nice":  you keep them out by being unfailingly nice and never taking any bait.  A book that tells some tactics on this is The Gentle Art of Verbal…"
Mar 18
Regular Joe replied to Zach's discussion How Much Of A Part Should Your Significant Other's Family Play In Your Relationship?
"That only works if the wife agrees with that model. If the wife thinks that, even after marriage, the parents' role remains the absolute same, that model you propose means nothing."
Mar 18
Regular Joe replied to Zach's discussion How Much Of A Part Should Your Significant Other's Family Play In Your Relationship?
""Frankly, this isn't a problem with your girlfriend's mother ... its a problem with your girlfriend.  It isn't that the mother is intrusive, its that your girlfriend invites/ allows the intrusion.  Your in-laws will…"
Mar 18
Regular Joe replied to Zach's discussion How Much Of A Part Should Your Significant Other's Family Play In Your Relationship?
""My question is, to you married men, how much of a role do your wives' parents play in your relationship?" Before I answer that I just want to point out that even if none of us have gone through what you're going through, that…"
Mar 18
John Lee Pettimore replied to Zach's discussion How Much Of A Part Should Your Significant Other's Family Play In Your Relationship?
"+1"
Mar 18
Elliott George replied to Zach's discussion How Much Of A Part Should Your Significant Other's Family Play In Your Relationship?
"You are not wrong or insensitive at all. You are asking for some healthy relationship boundaries. Your mother-in-law is not fulfilling an appropriate role, but like others say, it is not really just your mother-in-law, it is also your…"
Mar 18
Steve Dallas replied to Zach's discussion How Much Of A Part Should Your Significant Other's Family Play In Your Relationship?
"Sounds a bit like my MIL, but I live my own life and have my own life with my wife. Her mom is free to make comments, I am free to have my own life. When talking to my wife about it, I remember that this is her mother. I must handle it…"
Mar 18
Carl replied to Zach's discussion How Much Of A Part Should Your Significant Other's Family Play In Your Relationship?
"You're not married to her. Why shouldn't her mother be involved in everything? That's her family. I know this is old-fashioned, but it the married people are to leave their father and mother to be joined as one flesh. You've…"
Mar 18
Michael B. replied to Zach's discussion How Much Of A Part Should Your Significant Other's Family Play In Your Relationship?
"Jack is pretty well spot-on. The dating phase is akin to a job interview before you are hired. So, if she isn't going to take your feelings about her mother's intrusiveness into account - then you are looking at a major compatibility…"
Mar 18
Will replied to Zach's discussion How Much Of A Part Should Your Significant Other's Family Play In Your Relationship?
"What a beautiful thing, that someone should remain close to a beloved parent.  Yet how inconvenient, if you dislike her. This is an occasion for you to show strength.  It would be easier to combat MIL.  It would be easier to avoid…"
Mar 18

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At 6:03am on October 7, 2013, Matt J K said…

Welcome to AOM Zach!  I hope you make some great connections here.

 
 
 

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