Victor Paul
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  • Louisville, OH
  • United States
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The future scares me.

Started this discussion. Last reply by Rick Shelton Nov 5, 2012. 44 Replies

I'm not very good at making posts on any website, but I figured this would be the place to really put this out there. I'm hoping to gain some wisdom and possibly some confidence...My name is Victor,…Continue

 

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Rick Shelton replied to Victor Paul's discussion The future scares me.
"A question:How are the children handling the situation? I would recomend that even if you think they are handling it ok you let them know they will always have you and that you will love them no matter what, which I am sure you are doing. Another…"
Nov 5, 2012
Margie replied to Victor Paul's discussion The future scares me.
"I keep imagining him alone in this scenario. But using your example, maybe... "your mommy will always love you, and she'll always be your mommy, but she can't live with us anymore.""
Nov 5, 2012
Rick Shelton replied to Victor Paul's discussion The future scares me.
"I think that may be the best way to handle the situation with both parents available and willing.  Doing it singly is probably the next best way."
Nov 5, 2012
Rick Shelton replied to Victor Paul's discussion The future scares me.
""It may be that there's no "good" way to put it, only lesser versions of bad."  I believe you've put it rightly there. My father moved out to "find himself" shortly after I joined the military and my…"
Nov 5, 2012
Margie replied to Victor Paul's discussion The future scares me.
"About your edit... "I would never tell a child that their mommy can't be their mommy, ever. Reason, they'll believe that it was something about them that made mommy not want to be their mommy, kids do this all the time. They blame…"
Nov 5, 2012
Rick Shelton replied to Victor Paul's discussion The future scares me.
"I think the fact that she signed away custody and her actions, which I hope he documented, prior to this will weigh heavily in the future; and any actions she takes until that poiont, which again I hope he documents as well.  Also, it depends…"
Nov 5, 2012
Margie replied to Victor Paul's discussion The future scares me.
"Maybe I'm giving her too much credit, but I expect it's just a matter of time before she realizes what it is she's done. And when she does, she's going to want those kids back. I hope he gets his paperwork squared away quickly."
Nov 5, 2012
Margie replied to Victor Paul's discussion The future scares me.
"That's not a bad way to put it. My concern is that the children would blame themselves for mommy not wanting to live with them. But that may be more of a concern for the five year old, whereas the two year old would know mommy was gone but…"
Nov 5, 2012
Rick Shelton replied to Victor Paul's discussion The future scares me.
"I would say to let them know mommy won't be living with them anymore but she still loves them.  Not much more than that at this age otherwise they'd get hurt or confused.  Also, let them know that mommy will let him know when…"
Nov 5, 2012
Chuck Knight replied to Victor Paul's discussion The future scares me.
"One of my neighbors is going through something similar, with similarly young children.  He told the younger one that...Mommy decided she didn't want to live with us, anymore.   Obviously I am not privy to the rest of the conversation,…"
Nov 5, 2012
Margie replied to Victor Paul's discussion The future scares me.
"I agree that it's not a good idea to bad mouth their mother at this point. After all, the kids are two and five. But about the truth. The truth is too harsh. Do you mean a version of the truth? Maybe something like, "your mommy can't…"
Nov 5, 2012
Jolly D Bugger replied to Victor Paul's discussion The future scares me.
"Perhaps have a listen to one of these while taking care of the household? http://www.betterlisten.com/robert-bly/ Being a single parent you're probably seriously out of time but may I offer some questions to ponder deeper exploration? What do…"
Nov 5, 2012
Rick Shelton replied to Victor Paul's discussion The future scares me.
"Thank God.  Take good care of those kids, but try not to bad mouth their mother to them until they're much older."
Nov 5, 2012
Andrew replied to Victor Paul's discussion The future scares me.
"Good on you for taking care of yourself and your kids!"
Nov 5, 2012
J. R. Manard replied to Victor Paul's discussion The future scares me.
"Good luck Victor. Keep your chin up"
Nov 4, 2012
Michael D. Denny replied to Victor Paul's discussion The future scares me.
"Be strong young Man, be strong. You WILL come out ahead and on top. "
Nov 3, 2012

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Interests
Cooking, drumming, painting cars and collecting firearm.
Quote
" Discipline and determination will help me to never succumb to the war that I fight within my heart"

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Dann Anthony replied to Dann Anthony's discussion Heavy diagnosis - looking for manly advice.
"All well put, Rick. I will try hard. And yeah, I wish I could lift the fear from my wife's shoulders, but the only way to do that is to heal and walk out of here, so that's what I'm determined to do."
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Rusty Rogers commented on Josh100LuBu's photo
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Josh100LuBu - In The Lexus

"Rick has very, very wise advise. Give it much consideration."
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