Stephen Young
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  • Montreal, QC
  • Canada
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Stephen Young's Discussions

Need Advice: Becoming a Man in a Relationship

Started this discussion. Last reply by John Schaefer Aug 2, 2009. 7 Replies


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Stephen Young's Blog

Manliness - is that what we're fostering here?

Posted on May 8, 2009 at 12:25pm 6 Comments

I've been talking with my girlfriend about The Art of Manliness, and realizing that there's a danger to online communities like this. How many truly manly men are we creating/helping? Is there more manliness in just going out and doing things, instead of writing long posts about it?

Here are my thoughts on the matter:

Point: We are a community of men seeking to discuss the issues that we face and figuring out ways…

Rugged Couture, Scene I: The Handkerchief

Posted on April 27, 2009 at 10:30pm 0 Comments

Walking through the forest on a cloudy spring day, finally having caught the cold that has been floating around, I find myself congested - yet still desiring to impress the beautiful girl walking with me. Fumbling around checking for a pack of tissues, I turn to her to see if she has any - no luck. With a runny nose, any chance of a kiss can be, well, kissed goodbye...

Enter the handkerchief.

This handy piece of cloth lost a lot of its popularity with the rise of products… Continue

Organizing Life, Scene I: The Notebook

Posted on April 24, 2009 at 5:30am 5 Comments

Of all the tools in your arsenal, without a doubt the most important is your pocket notebook. Notebooks are the obvious precursor to PDA's and computers, and still have the upper hand in that they are quickly accessible, absolutely customizable and completely unique. No other technology will allow you to easily compile lists, sketches, calendars, notes, plans, links - exactly the way you want them.

Where to begin?

One of the most popular notebooks available is… Continue

Into the Forest, Scene I: The Quaking Aspen

Posted on April 20, 2009 at 11:37am 0 Comments

Trees - we exploit them, and murder them en masse to meet our own ends, but don't realize their value, nor their importance. Though we cannot all be expected to chain ourselves to trees, we can at least appreciate the subtle beauties and practicalities of nearly everything the forest has to offer us.

The Quaking Aspen

Quaking Aspens are a very distinctive tree, with a white trunk that is broken by black 'scars'… Continue

Latest Activity

Stephen commented on Stephen Young's blog post Organizing Life, Scene I: The Notebook
"The Moleskine Van Gogh / Hemingway stuff always annoyed me. To begin with it's a bit of a so what (I use the same printer paper as the President, hurrah?) and even after that it's pretty much a lie since the books you can buy today are…"
Sep 18, 2011
Ryan Albright commented on Stephen Young's blog post Organizing Life, Scene I: The Notebook
" ; These Notebooks are Made in the USA and 100% recycled material.  An alternative to the Moleskine, which is made in China and less often in Italy.  "
Sep 11, 2011
John Schaefer replied to Stephen Young's discussion Need Advice: Becoming a Man in a Relationship
"You've taken the first big step, admitting your shortcomings is a move in the right direction. Sounds to me like you lack confidence. Why not take up martial arts? Physical training has a proven track record for making a man more…"
Aug 2, 2009
Andrew Barbour replied to Stephen Young's discussion Need Advice: Becoming a Man in a Relationship
"During an argument, if you're right, you're right. Be man enough to let knowing you're right be enough for you. Too often couples forget that there's an issue to be resolved at the core of an argument, and simply start trying to…"
Jul 28, 2009
Peter O'Reilly replied to Stephen Young's discussion Need Advice: Becoming a Man in a Relationship
"1. Have your own life outside of the relationship. 2. Take charge. Don't ever have the back and forth conversation of "I dont know, what do you want to do tonight?". Come up with a plan and follow through with it. 3. NEVER tolerate…"
Jul 27, 2009
Dave Kerwin replied to Stephen Young's discussion Need Advice: Becoming a Man in a Relationship
"My best advise is this: don't try to become a man by hanging out with her more often. She is not a source of masculinity. You need other men in your life, LOTS of men in your life, the kind that are living the way you hope to in the future. Go…"
Jul 21, 2009
Stephen Young commented on Ryan's group Man Bags
"I have a cheap old Old Navy messenger bag - student on a budget, so i can't afford anything else. It totes around notebooks, pens, laptop and occasionally food. It's getting worn and torn just the way it should, with ink stains and a well…"
Jul 21, 2009
Stephen Young joined Ryan's group

Man Bags

Will your Grandkids fight over your leather bag when you're dead? Do people stop you to ask where you got your bag? This group is for people who love their bags, want leather maintenance tips or just want to share their personal bag story.See More
Jul 21, 2009
Slacker replied to Stephen Young's discussion Need Advice: Becoming a Man in a Relationship
"I don't think anyone likes dealing with confrontation, especially women (can I say that here?), hence the reason they make us crazy by not just tackling problems like we tend to do. My experience is that running from problems, avoiding them or…"
Jul 6, 2009
Sean Klein replied to Stephen Young's discussion Need Advice: Becoming a Man in a Relationship
"The book "Hold onto your NUTs," advertised and promoted here, is also a great resource. I think there's sections of it that directly address some of your concerns."
Jul 6, 2009
Sir replied to Stephen Young's discussion Need Advice: Becoming a Man in a Relationship
"I dealt with my big issues *before* I got into the relationship -- and, in fact, I couldn't have done it the other way round. But that's me. Strongly suggest: Letters to Philip, on being a man in a marriage (most will apply to girlfriend…"
Jul 3, 2009
Ethan G. replied to Stephen Young's discussion Need Advice: Becoming a Man in a Relationship
"Face it head on and talk with your girlfriend. For her part, she should be willing to meet you half-way in any serious discussion about your relationship. If she doesn't, she's got a little "manning up" (womaning up?) to do, too."
Jul 3, 2009
Stephen Young replied to Brian's discussion Legitimate Self Improvement Books
"Walter Newells The Code of Man General principles of Manliness, aided by well educated research from biographies and classics (it also serves as an excellent reading-list generator for manly books)"
Jul 3, 2009
Stephen Young posted a discussion

Need Advice: Becoming a Man in a Relationship

Recently I've been going through some rocky times with my long-term girlfriend, and I can safely accredit a lot of this to my lackadaisical manner of life, which has included putting off issues that could be discussed later, and trading longer term happiness for shorter term enjoyment, compounded with the fact that I am not terribly good at face-to-face discourse, and freeze up in conflict.I've been reading and trying to figure things out more (I would suggest The Code of Man by Walter Newell…See More
Jul 3, 2009
John Clanton commented on Stephen Young's blog post Manliness - is that what we're fostering here?
"The main point of the counter points says that we should get out and do stuff. While I think that that is a good thing, it isn't always possible. There is such thing as a healthy balance of time spent online and in the real world. For me, what…"
May 8, 2009
Sir commented on Stephen Young's blog post Manliness - is that what we're fostering here?
"But we don't have to be all theoretical; let's also be practical. Discussing manly things *can* be useful (as well as fun). But is it being useful, to *you*? What have you gained from discussions here? In my case: not enough. I do gain a…"
May 8, 2009

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Latest Activity

Nick H replied to leadership's discussion Meeting a girl online: A good introduction message
"Disclaimer. I've never used online dating. But it seems to me that the way people interact online has changed. The long introduction once favoured by the and similar sites which lets people match up a bunch of stuff seems to have…"
6 minutes ago
Braeden P.D. replied to Braeden P.D.'s discussion Mythopoeia
"To start, the Aperos: At the beginning, there was only the Aperos, a realm of reality beyond the what the five senses of men easily know. It is shaped not by winds or rains, but by the wills of those who can interact with it. Without input it is…"
1 hour ago
Braeden P.D. posted a discussion


Mythopoeia is defined as "the making of myths". In this thread, right here, right now, let us make a collaborative mythology, because why not.We can add little post to it, and keeping developing it for as long as some of us remain interested. See More
1 hour ago
Jack Bauer replied to Salt Dragon's discussion Advice re abusive boyfriend of ex
"You can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped.  Protect your boys.  Let her know you're there to help if she needs it.  Otherwise ... you might as well mind your own business.  She's not going to listen…"
2 hours ago
Salt Dragon posted a discussion

Advice re abusive boyfriend of ex

My ex has been dating an alcoholic abusive policemen on and off for about 4 years.  After she sued him for damages related to an injury from his drunken rage, they parted ways for a year and a half but now appear to be back together.  She is keeping him away from our sons (now 11 and 13) but her personality changes a lot when they are together.  She disconnects maternally from our sons and becomes combative to me and her family of origin.  Unless there is some trauma to boys, I don’t have good…See More
2 hours ago
Terry Walley updated their profile
2 hours ago
Salt Dragon replied to leadership's discussion How can a man know that he has achieved manhood and earned the title of man?
"Id say we get pubic hair in our early teens and then spend the rest of our lives figuring out what it means to be a man.  Enjoy the journey.  Initiation and mentoring help, along with maintaining life-long male friendships, which is quite…"
2 hours ago
Salt Dragon replied to Milo Morris's discussion Gay Republicans in the group Out to Build Bridges
"I watched the yiannopoulosm video and one quote caught my attention:  in an outrage culture, it pays to be outrageous.  He and Donald Trump are more about their personal brands than anything substantial.  The divisism of both may have…"
3 hours ago

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