"Rachael Ray has a series of easy recipes for guys. Just be sure to keep your mind on the food and not her boobs.
Seriously though, learn some simple basics that go a long way like, roast chicken, pasta sauce, and omelets."
"Unfortunately, this is probably the best answer....at least from a "big picture" national or human aspect. I would hope that we do on a more personal "I probably shouldn't do that again" kind of way."