"What are your reasons to talk about marriage with her if you do not intend to do it now? I think your girl is right to wanting to get married right after the engagement... Think about it. Why engage if marriage is three, four years away? Just to…"
"It also doesn't bode well that neither is willing to listen to the other's thoughts on the subject. Marriage isn't about one side telling the other what to do, when to do it, how to do it, and who to do it with. There…"
"I'm not sure exactly how the OP should broach the subject.
The OP shows a perception that the light of his life wants to run the show, he presents her rather specific specifications for where they will live, who will be paying for what, where…"
"Sounds as though you both need to listen to what each other has to say about the subject. I'm sure she has her reasons for wanting to be married within the year and to you those reasons may seem to be emotional reasons rather than logical…"
"You need to talk about what your plans are as a couple after marriage. It makes sense to me that she would like to secure your bonds. I did much the same with my wife when I was getting done with my undergrad.
But we also had a…"
"I don't remotely understand super long engagements. When you ask her to marry you, be ready to marry.
Finances, school, jobs, there is always going to be something going on, something that could be better, something that could be more ideal."
"You are totally right, your marriage is supposed to be for the rest of your lifetime so you want to do it properly, you want to be cautious because this is not something you want to cut corners on and get a bad result.
Tell her you aren't ready…"
"Hey Jake, Congrats! Sounds like you guys have a plan even if you aren't entirely in line with one another. Thats a lot more than can be said for most especially at your ages. Few things I want to throw out there...
"Maybe print out your post and hand it to her!
OK, not literally, but you made your case very strongly. I totally get what you're about.
It sounds like a communication problem: she can't hear what you're saying.…"
Hey everybody, so I've been having a lot of thoughts about the relationship I've been in for almost 1 and a half years now and I'd like to ask for some advice. Just to let you know this might be a tad long because I'm gonna put some background info and context behind what I'm gonna say so just bear with me.I'm currently 23 years old and my girlfriend is 21, and she is about to start her senior year of college while I am taking a couple classes part-time this year after graduating with my…See More
"I got married younger (22) and have been that way longer (15+ years) - and I approve wholeheartedly this message.
And I'll add this - nothing else I would have done in my 20s would have made me a better human being, man, or even…"
"So far it's had a high success rate with psychology students who understand the terminology well but a wider survey is good to do.The point is to try and prove what mechanisms are involved in regulating emotion."