Greetings all,This is my first post on the forums proper. I've browsed this site many a time before, and loved it. The final push to get me to come on however, came with this question that I'd…Continue
"Holy crap, I am in much the similar situation. Only there is a trip to afganistan involved.
1st this is a desicion you and your significant other need to decide together.
2nd are you financially independent of your parents? if yes, it will…"
"So, your parents are critical... and never really talked relationship with you.
How did their marriage look when you were growing up?
How does it look now?
When you look at them, do you think "This is what I want my…"
"Have you discussed their fears (the non-emotional ones that is) with your parents? What is it that they see in this woman that you do not. If their fears are not about her but about your readiness or your percieved lack of ability then…"
"It's your decision to make. Sometimes when a mother feels like your cutting the apron strings it makes her feel unwanted or that you no longer need your parents. (I.e. telling you your not ready or responsible, etc.) on the other hand maybe…"
"What are your respective financial situations like? Because for all of society's progression over the past couple of centuries, a marriage is still, in part, a business partnership. You and your fiancee should go over each…"
"Having read through the thread, here is my advice for whatever it's worth.
1. Marry the girl. It is not your parents' place to tell you whom you can marry. And while they should certainly offer advice on the subject,…"
"Shifting explanations: yes, I think they clearly indicate there is an explanation, but not one that the person wants to admit to, possibly even to herself. What's the real reason?
But you don't have to know and you…"
"That career isn't unusual. I was talking something unusual enough that being married is going to hamstring you. There's no reason a married man can't get a grad degree and work at a museum.
If I asked your…"
"Two random points:
Based on what you're saying, their problem isn't with her, but with you getting married.
I don't think whether they'll cut you out of their lives should be a factor. After adulthood and a shifting…"
"So seeing each other on weekends is very doable, thats cool. Try to get in as much time with her and your parents as possible. Instead of fighting or letting them have reasons to give you excuses, try to get their input, increase how much time you…"
"Shifting explanations are usually a sign of bad explanations.
If you want more opinions, sometimes better expressed, than AoM can give you, track down the articles on the Princeton Mom's letter, and the earlier piece in HuffPo or the Atlantic…"
"Bauer, I appreciate your evenhanded evaluation of the situation. I feel that they've personally been wary whenever I thought I had a future with someone but that may just be me. My ideal career is unusual yes. Ideally I'd like to work in a…"
"I think it stems in large part because they don't think I'm responsible enough or ready yet financially and I have no real idea of what marriage is like (well, never being married before I suppose it is fair to say that, I only have my…"
"Shieldes, She'd be in Mathis, and working/going to school in Corpus Christi. She's 21, and works as a sleep technician and in medical billing, she's trying out for her certification in July. She's currently working on getting an…"
"I'm not unfamiliar with the situation you are in.
My advice to you is simple: Are you doing what is right?
You see if you love this girl, and she really loves you, then great. Your parents are no longer the boss of you and at some point we…"
I enjoy learning new things, writing and reading when I get the time and exercising as frequently as I can. I also dabble in pyrotechnics and have run a pirate radio station before. But more than anything else, good company and meeting new people really interest me.
In no particular order as I remember the names of the books and authors that immediately spring to mind...'Tunnel in the Sky' by Robert Heinlein, 'Oryx and Cracke' by Margaret Atwood, 'Ender's Game' by Orson Scott Card, 'Neuromancer' by William Gibson, 'Dune' by Frank Herbert, 'Heart of a dog' by Mikhail Bulgakov, 'Dead Souls' by Nikola Gogol, 'Tao te Ching' by Laozi, 'A Farewell to Arms' by Ernest Hemingway, 'You Can't Win' by Jack Black, 'Junky' by Edgar S. Burrows, 'The Man Who Was Thursday' by G.K. Chesterson.
Chinatown, The French Connection, the original Star Wars trilogy, Come and See, Primer, Chronicle, The Seventh Seal, Let the Right One In, Office Space,
My tastes run the gambit of Mississippi Delta Blues to Metal, I couldn't hope to encompass them all. I'd be here typing for a long time if I did. Suffice to say I like just about everything.
“The superior man is distressed by the limitations of his ability; he is not distressed by the fact that men do not recognize the ability that he has.”
Comment Wall (1 comment)
You need to be a member of Art of Manliness to add comments!
""Do we even think of feminists as real women, such that we would have to respect their opinions?"
That depends on the definition feminist. If you mean women who feel that they should have equitable rights and opportunities then I…"
"I was genuinely looking for a conversation, thinking, fool-headed though I was, that after all this time there grew a maturity in the other party that made him a person from whom I could learn. This proved to be an erroneous thought."