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My ex is back in my life...

Started this discussion. Last reply by Curtis on Thursday. 19 Replies

Hi Gents, any and all advice would be greatly appreciated...It's been 3 years since my ex and I have shared anything more than a 5 minute catch-up, following our equally long relationship.It didn't…Continue

Constructive Criticism for my friend. Should I, and how?

Started this discussion. Last reply by Steve Fine Apr 3. 15 Replies

My question is two-fold and I apologise in advance for the essay, but this has been bugging me for some time and I would really appreciate your advice.My best friend, Nick, and I are both currently…Continue

Commanding Respect?

Started this discussion. Last reply by Walter B. Pewen Mar 8. 57 Replies

Guys,I would like to transition from the quiet guy in the pack; input unheard and unable to lead conversation, to a (seemingly) outwardly confident man, who speaks with conviction and secures the…Continue

Risk Taking For The Risk Averse?

Started this discussion. Last reply by Curtis Apr 8. 16 Replies

Hi all, I’m brand new to the forum, but I’ve been reading AOM since around 2009.  Please be gentle! I’m 23, live and work in the UK and struggle day to day with knowing and being myself.  I have to…Continue

 

Curtis's Page

Latest Activity

Curtis replied to Curtis's discussion My ex is back in my life...
"John,   Sound advice, much appreciated. I've been noticing some of these things and found myself analysing it way too much. "Why does it affect me and not her?" kind of scenario ensued, before I slapped myself and snapped out of…"
Thursday
John Pound replied to Curtis's discussion My ex is back in my life...
"Curtis, there are all kinds of red flags here. From what you have written then it may be that you will end up paying for this emotionally. She won't though and will move on. That's an almost certainty. However hard this may be then it…"
Jul 11
Alex Mares replied to Curtis's discussion My ex is back in my life...
"Good luck my friend.  I had an 8 year ex gf come into my life a few years back only to realize the pattern...she would go to her ex's whenever she was afraid to make a decision on her own.  I only saw her once, but it was enough for…"
Jul 11
Curtis replied to Curtis's discussion My ex is back in my life...
"Well, it was civil yet unfulfilling.   A long conversation, comprising reminiscing (predomninantly on her part), venting about her recent ex and family situation, over dinner and drinks. The entire time, she was giving me many discrete and also…"
Jul 11
Tim replied to Curtis's discussion My ex is back in my life...
"Evasion will only pique her interest like you're hiding something. Just say "no," and don't elaborate. If she presses and you feel you have to reply, say something like "I'm not in that place right now" [better]…"
Jul 10
Curtis replied to Curtis's discussion My ex is back in my life...
"Quick update guys;   She contacted me again pretty quickly to see me again.  Invited her for a drink tonight.  Fairly local place, but limited chance of bumping in to too many people we know.  I want to get to the bottom of what…"
Jul 10
Nick H replied to Curtis's discussion My ex is back in my life...
"You're both. Being a good guy makes you a beacon for damaged people looking to lean on you."
Jul 10
Tim replied to Curtis's discussion My ex is back in my life...
"Curtis, it's a fine line between being a helpful guy and being a crutch for lost souls. Take it as reassurance. I wouldn't feel insulted that you're good enough to nurse back to health -- it's a compliment. BUT, remember to keep…"
Jul 9
Regular Joe replied to Curtis's discussion My ex is back in my life...
Jul 9
Rick Shelton replied to Curtis's discussion My ex is back in my life...
"Tell her, up front that you're not interested in a romantic relationship but you will be there to support her if she wants it.  Be staight forward and to the point, don't beat around the bush and DON'T do those things that lovers…"
Jul 9
Curtis replied to Curtis's discussion My ex is back in my life...
"When I say the damage done by someone else, I mean the abusive ex-boyfriend.   The situation with her mother and knowing how close they are is my primary motivation."
Jul 9
Curtis replied to Curtis's discussion My ex is back in my life...
"Thanks Michael, I'm not doing too bad.   Although the damage is kind of done (I'm optimistic that it won't be permanent) I feel like too much time has passed to show any hostility because of it.    I guess the most…"
Jul 9
Michael J. K. replied to Curtis's discussion My ex is back in my life...
"Hope you are doing okay Curtis.  I just hope she does not drag you down further.   I would ask her why is she bothering you?   Tell her you have already done enough damage.   I hope it is just that she needed to…"
Jul 9
Curtis replied to Curtis's discussion My ex is back in my life...
"Hi guys, thanks for your advice.   I'd agree, Tim, that I don't feel any of those "maybe we can reconcile" type thoughts spiralling round in my head.  All I keep wondering is, what really motivated her to turn to…"
Jul 9
Steve Dallas replied to Curtis's discussion My ex is back in my life...
"I second this"
Jul 9
Tim replied to Curtis's discussion My ex is back in my life...
"If you still haven't recovered from her after three years, I don't think having her back in your life sounds like a good idea. Plus, you haven't said whether you "want to be there for her" because you like her and want to be…"
Jul 9

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Interests
Reading, Writing, Sports, Weight Training, Research, Science, Psychology
Books
Art of War, The Importance of The 20's etc. Anything inspirational or enlightening.
Movies
Deja Vu, The Wolf of Wall Street, Drive, Only God Forgives, Place Beyond The Pines, Analyze This/That and anything Tarantino.
Music
Hip-Hop, R'n'B, Soul, Jazz, Grime
Quote
"Shyness has a strange element of narcissism, a belief that how we look, how we perform, is truly important to other people." - Andre Dubus III

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Latest Activity

Hank Rutherford Hill replied to Hank Rutherford Hill's discussion To go to college next semester or not?
"George is that because you already knew what that special career was? I do not right now, and if I did I wouldn't even question staying in college and finishing that degree to get me that dream job. "
11 minutes ago
John Lee Pettimore replied to Jack Brenner's discussion Colleague out of line?
"This is a case for the phantom shitter."
16 minutes ago
George Henry Robbins III replied to Hank Rutherford Hill's discussion To go to college next semester or not?
"No. I took off to work and did not go back for 26 years. Got my B.A. at 48 and M.A. at 50. Did not start career I always wanted until I was 51. Wish I had stayed in and received my degrees when I was 21 and 23. Do not leave school."
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Vytautas replied to Pale Horse's discussion Strangers Like Us
"Clearly. If a kid didn't have a toy, we redistributed some so that he or she wouldn't feel left out of the group."
1 hour ago
Pale Horse replied to Pale Horse's discussion Strangers Like Us
"Eh, the people who are offended by it would have found something else to be butthurt over."
1 hour ago
Pale Horse replied to Pale Horse's discussion Strangers Like Us
"The closest I've been to there is Ocala. I really need to get around more."
1 hour ago
Pale Horse replied to Pale Horse's discussion Strangers Like Us
"Said the previously noted sissy."
1 hour ago
Pale Horse replied to Pale Horse's discussion Strangers Like Us
"Me... Vy... anyone else who mentally said "No duh!" at the quotations he used."
1 hour ago

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