Several interesting blog posts on transgender-ness; I was particularly interested in the first, a guest post.
I have a burning psychological need for the statement “I am a man” to be true, so it would be nice if it weren’t meaningless. It would also be nice if it weren’t immutably false.
Author doesn't have an answer, but does seem willing to frame the questions.
Later in the page I came across the phrase "the cotton ceiling," and googled it.
Cotton ceiling is the tendency of trans women to be excluded from the higher echelons of (cis-dominated) women's and queer spaces — specifically within the porn industry... [link]
where "cotton" refers to underwear, or, rather, what's in it.
And from another source:
Basically, it means that cis queer women will be friends with us and talk day and night about trans rights and ending transmisogyny, but will still not consider us viable sexual partners. [link]
Found some real rage on this issue: someone angry at "cisbians saying 'I'm just not attracted to penises'...it's because you're a sad little transmisogynist and you deserve to have your teeth beaten in."
No real conclusion here yet, at least, not one the parties can agree on.
This reminds of me of something I've encountered among gay men. If you go on a dating site or hook-up app such as Grindr, you will see a lot of profiles that will explicitly exclude certain types of guys, such as Black men, Asians, "femmes," etc. Which, I've heard, is racist or otherwise discriminatory. I don't understand that, though, because how does one control who they are attracted to? I've never heard anyone call gay men sexist for refusing to date women (it wouldn't surprise me to find an article saying just that at Salon or something, but it's not a mainstream position either way). As silly as the antics of radical feminists often seem, the notion that lesbians ought to sleep with women who have (or had) male parts out of some sense of political correctness is even sillier.
"If you go on a dating site or hook-up app such as Grindr, you will see a lot of profiles that will explicitly exclude certain types of guys, such as Black men, Asians, "femmes," etc. Which, I've heard, is racist or otherwise discriminatory"
It is racist and discriminatory. There's no question about that. You're excluding people based on their race. That's the very definition of racist discrimination. The real question is whether or not, in that specific context, that racist discrimination is wrong.
Technically true, but beside the point: the clear implication is that the racism, in this instance, is wrong. Which it's not; dating someone you're not attracted to out of some sense of social justice or whatever doesn't seem like a healthy relationship, and it's definitely not fair to the other person if they don't know what the deal is.
"Take me down to the transgender city, where the chicks have dicks and the guys have titties."