Several interesting blog posts on transgender-ness; I was particularly interested in the first, a guest post.
I have a burning psychological need for the statement “I am a man” to be true, so it would be nice if it weren’t meaningless. It would also be nice if it weren’t immutably false.
Author doesn't have an answer, but does seem willing to frame the questions.
Later in the page I came across the phrase "the cotton ceiling," and googled it.
Cotton ceiling is the tendency of trans women to be excluded from the higher echelons of (cis-dominated) women's and queer spaces — specifically within the porn industry... [link]
where "cotton" refers to underwear, or, rather, what's in it.
And from another source:
Basically, it means that cis queer women will be friends with us and talk day and night about trans rights and ending transmisogyny, but will still not consider us viable sexual partners. [link]
Found some real rage on this issue: someone angry at "cisbians saying 'I'm just not attracted to penises'...it's because you're a sad little transmisogynist and you deserve to have your teeth beaten in."
No real conclusion here yet, at least, not one the parties can agree on.
This reminds of me of something I've encountered among gay men. If you go on a dating site or hook-up app such as Grindr, you will see a lot of profiles that will explicitly exclude certain types of guys, such as Black men, Asians, "femmes," etc. Which, I've heard, is racist or otherwise discriminatory. I don't understand that, though, because how does one control who they are attracted to? I've never heard anyone call gay men sexist for refusing to date women (it wouldn't surprise me to find an article saying just that at Salon or something, but it's not a mainstream position either way). As silly as the antics of radical feminists often seem, the notion that lesbians ought to sleep with women who have (or had) male parts out of some sense of political correctness is even sillier.
"If you go on a dating site or hook-up app such as Grindr, you will see a lot of profiles that will explicitly exclude certain types of guys, such as Black men, Asians, "femmes," etc. Which, I've heard, is racist or otherwise discriminatory"
It is racist and discriminatory. There's no question about that. You're excluding people based on their race. That's the very definition of racist discrimination. The real question is whether or not, in that specific context, that racist discrimination is wrong.
Technically true, but beside the point: the clear implication is that the racism, in this instance, is wrong. Which it's not; dating someone you're not attracted to out of some sense of social justice or whatever doesn't seem like a healthy relationship, and it's definitely not fair to the other person if they don't know what the deal is.
If you want to analyze it, there are some bigger questions you could ask about this. Like whether you are truly un-attracted to a particular race or if you've simply been conditioned to react that way due to overt or subtle racism. There's a lot of stuff that can be explored with that topic.
For me, personally, I have a hard time understanding writing off and entire race because, having grown up in multicultural places and have traveled around the world, my opinion is that there are smokin' hot women of all kinds all over the world. IMO every race and ethnicity has its beauties and its mingers.
Well I am exclusively (sexually) attracted to a very specific type of guy, which happens to be the type of guy that pretty much describes every guy in the place I grew up (which happens to be almost entirely white). So I think upbringing probably does have a lot to do with who you are attracted to, at least for some people.
For me, though, sexual attraction isn't a big thing. I'm often drawn to people who I would never find sexually attractive, and I'm sometimes repelled by people I do find attractive. In some cases, I end up finding myself attracted to people that normally aren't my type, for reasons other than their appearance. On the other hand though, people of any race (or gender) can be pleasing to look at, even though I might not want to date them.
I'm not sure I buy the notion of subconscious racism. If it's too subtle to notice, why does it even matter? I can't control who I'm attracted to, and any attempt to do so, I suspect, would be as futile as trying to become straight. Maybe I am racist in some subtle way that I don't realize, but even if I am, trying to do anything about that would result in thinking about race as an issue even more, which seems like a toxic mindset. Obviously, it's an important issue and it needs to be thought about, but there's probably a point where thinking about it too much creates more harm than good by reinforcing the perceived differences between people of different races and keeping those differences alive in people's consciousnesses. But that's the rational part of me talking, which my libido is most certainly not a part of.
"Take me down to the transgender city, where the chicks have dicks and the guys have titties."
Seriously sex-confused people probably ought not be answering questions like this. "Women with penises". Good grief.
I heard about this. I think it's best if I don't watch it. Lord help us.
This is a super interesting topic and reading through the posts I guess I didn't realize just how complicated the notion of sexuality has gotten.
I personally believe you are born the way you are with a clear biological sexual preference. Does not matter what category you fall into (gay, straight, trans etc...) I think that preference is further nurtured by your surroundings and experiences as you mature.
I also think that the politicized component of sexuality is muddying the already dirty waters of confusion for those who are on the fringes with their sexuality and biology. So its easy to explain away sexual desires and biology with politically correct feminist symbolism.
Humans are sexual creatures that need to have sex to reproduce. We are driven to it as a mode of survival. Those two truths are universal no matter where you are in the spectrum. You biologically are what you are, you desire what you desire. does classification really matter?
To the above point the same goes for specific categories and traits for the people you desire. Simply saying you are attracted to a specific skin tone or race, or hair color or anything else does not make you a racist.
Im really having a hard time understanding why this is so complicated, however I'm saying that as a straight biological male so I supposed that I can't really see it from any other perspective.