Stop me if you've heard this one

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Stop me if you've heard this one

A place where we can post really good jokes for no other reason than to share some humor among the brothers on this site.  Come in.  Read.  Post.  LAUGH!

Members: 30
Latest Activity: Jan 25

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Magnum

Started by David R. Jan 25. 0 Replies

[This is a re-posting of something I posted a few days ago.  It was too late to edit it (I had the wrong name of the condoms), so I have re-entered the corrected one here.]I have been tempted to buy…Continue

Tags: condom, magnum

T-shirt

Started by David R. Jun 9, 2016. 0 Replies

I saw a young man wearing a T-shirt this afternoon with the following on the front in large (capital) letters:Tell your boobs to quit staring at my feet.;)Continue

Tags: T-shirt

Commemorative months (ha ha)

Started by David R. Mar 7, 2016. 0 Replies

I just saw the link on Wikepedia for "commemorative months" ("recurrent months that are used by various governments, groups and organizations to raise awareness of an issue, commemorate a group or…Continue

Tags: men, penis, small, fat, month

Father and Son Joke

Started by Joe W Jan 26, 2012. 0 Replies

There was a particular father who recently had "the talk" with his son, during which he described everything from intercourse, to pregnancy, and controception.  While in the pharmacy, his son noticed…Continue

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You need to be a member of Stop me if you've heard this one to add comments!

Comment by Joe W on December 15, 2016 at 10:18pm

I didn't even know they had the cent symbol anymore. I've been using $.02 to show cents for so many years that I haven't even considered looking for the c, capital or otherwise. Thanks for showing me that it's still around.

Comment by David R. on December 13, 2016 at 8:06am

(Warning: This is not a knee-slapper comment, so don't expect it to be.  It may just give you a chuckle at the most.)

When I recently wanted to write "my two cents' worth" by using the "cent" symbol (¢), I was surprised to find that in most type fonts these days it seems the symbol no longer is a lower-case c but rather an upper-case C (which makes it look weird to me).  But does it indicate that a penny is worth more today than it used to be worth?  I don't think so!!

Comment by David R. on July 4, 2016 at 1:12pm

I just started watching a stupid comedy from 2001 called Joe Dirt starring David Spade (Joe Dirt 2 started on TV recently).  In one scene Spade is wearing a tee shirt that says the following:

I CHOKED Linda Lovelace.

(I don't have the nerve to wear this tee shirt, but I think it's a real conversation-starter.  And of course, Linda Lovelace looked at mine and ran away screaming!  LMAO)

Comment by Dann Anthony on March 28, 2015 at 8:12pm

A kid goes into a drug store with a fistful of nickels and dimes. He tells the pharmacist "I been saving from my paper route, and I want a box of OB Tampons."

"OB Tampons?! Good heavens - what does a boy your age want with those?"

Kid says "You seen the commercials! Ya can go swimmin, ya can go horseback riding, ya can go kayaking, all sorts of fun stuff!"

Comment by Dan Wall on April 7, 2014 at 10:37am

A man gets into an elevator and the only other person is the most gorgeous woman he has ver seen. When the doors close he leans over to her and says, "Pardon me miss. Can I smell your panties?"

Horrified she says,"You certainly cannot!" To which he replies, "Well it must be your feet."

Comment by Pale Horse on March 18, 2014 at 7:29pm

Nice!

Comment by J. D. on March 18, 2014 at 5:14pm


A guy is looking for a place to sit in a crowded library.
He asked a girl in a university library: "Do you mind if I sit beside you?
The girl replied in a loud voice: "I DON'T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!"
All the students in the library started staring at the guy; he was truly embarrassed
and moved to another table.
After a couple of minutes, the girl walked quietly to the guy's table and said with
a laugh:
"I study psychology, and I know what a man is thinking. I guess you felt embarrassed,
right?
The guy then responded in a loud voice: "$500 FOR ONE NIGHT? .. . . THAT'S ROBBERY!"
All the people in the library looked at the girl in shock.
The guy then whispered in her ear: "I study law: I know how to screw people."


Comment by Joe W on September 11, 2013 at 1:43pm

LOL... Stop! I have heard that one before... 

Comment by J. D. on September 11, 2013 at 10:53am

Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one
Michael J. Fox has a small one
Madonna doesn't have one
The Pope has one but doesn't use it
Clinton uses his all the time!
What is it?

A last name - What were you thinking?

Comment by Joe W on December 29, 2012 at 8:54pm

LOL! Good one.

 

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The Eyeball Kid replied to The Eyeball Kid's discussion Getting rid of a houseguest
"Fair enough, but I'll wait unit he actually gets the job until I get that honest. I know he's frustrated with the employment search process."
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Pale Horse replied to The Eyeball Kid's discussion Getting rid of a houseguest
"I can't speak for your friend, but I always appreciate directness and honesty, even when it hurts. Or you could try this:"
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The Eyeball Kid posted a discussion

Getting rid of a houseguest

Evening! So I got a little dilemma. About a month ago, a friend of mine from my hometown came up to Chicago to move. Like I did a couple of years ago, he came up here to find more opportunity, and so I let him stay on my couch. Now, I kind of want my entire apartment back, but I can't exactly kick him out as of now, he doesn't have a job and won't have anywhere to go (going back to his parent's house isn't an option for him). For the most part, he's been a good houseguest.  He offered to pay…See More
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