It's a fact: raising a kid that did not turn out to be like all the other kids can truly push you to the limits of your strength. Get connected with other fathers facing the same challenges.
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Having a child with a chronic condition-whether it's a physical or mental one-puts a lot of stress on the entire family. Fathers and mothers have very different ways of reacting to this stress. Mothers typically worry more about the emotional strain of caring for a child and how the child will do socially. Fathers are concerned with more practical things, such as how to talk about the issue with family and friends, how the child will function in school, whether he'll eventually become self-sufficient. Many dads also experience a heightened sense of responsibility and protectiveness.
Although mothers are generally more involved in day-to-day caring of kids with chronic conditions, fathers are affected just as deeply by the emotional strain and often have an especially hard time coping. Part of the problem is a series of vicious circles:
Some of dads' biggest worries have to do with finances: can they afford to pay for treatments, tutors, and special medical attention, is their insurance coverage adequate, and so on. To combat those worries, dads may spend more time at work. That makes them feel better because they're easing their financial concerns. Plus, for many men, their jobs are a source of satisfaction, a place where they feel in control. But the more time they spend at work, the less available they are to spend with their children and the less they're able to be involved in treatment plans and meetings with professionals. As a result, they don't get information first-hand and feel out of the loop. It's a tough merry-go-round to get off of.
Not surprisingly, conflict, tension, and even divorce are more common in families with a disabled child. But fortunately, there are some ways of reducing the strain.
One particularly interesting result that the researchers hadn't expected was that a lot of the fathers trained the mothers and siblings to do the same thing. Elder and her colleagues had done similar studies training mothers and have very much the same successes. The only difference was that mothers weren't as likely to teach the dads what they'd learned.
- From www.mrdad.com
Hello, my bio will follow, but I am looking to network with fellow fathers who are dealing with raising a child who, for whatever reason, can't run and play like his or her peers can. I know you are…Continue