Disclaimer: I'm not involved in BSA, but I do run my church's boys' group, which in a lot of ways is similar to BSA.
Going off what you shared here, you seem to be doing the right thing. Have you explained to his parents that he is behaving in a way unbecoming of his position, and what he needs to do to advance? They may be only hearing what their boy tells them. If you have made any threats of punishment, be prepared to act on them. If you haven't, you may want to start, along with the promise of reward if he does well.
I do an inspection every meeting on Wednesday. They get a point for every category I can check off for them, and every quarter I give a modest prize to the boy with the most points. One of those is for dress code. Maybe you could use something like that as incentive for him to wear his uniform.
A good question.
She is not complaining to me about the situation at all. She is complaining to others on the committee and while not explicitly saying it, seems to be implying that she no longer wants my participation in the program. She's said she is beginning to think that she doesn't want to send her boys--she has two in the troop--to attend scout meetings so long as I'm involved. However as I've said before, the unit committee doesn't see the things she's complaining about nor do they see that I've done anything wrong.
I wouldn't say that it is debilitating just yet. I'm just trying to find ways that I could diffuse the issue before things aren't repairable any longer.
His leadership position in the church is irrelevant. Judge his actions in the troop, by the standards of the troop, and what is best for it.
That's one reason I've long argued that the Troops should not be hosted or otherwise organized by churches. But that's my own hang up with the BSA, and sadly, why despite being a scout myself, it is unlikely my son will be one.
Good luck! I'll be following the thread to see where things end up.
That does make it tricky. But it sounds like he can't advance due to his own lack of care. Hold him to the specifications just like every other boy.
What does the young man think?
It sounds to me like your focus is where it should be - on helping the boys grow and develop into good young men. But how are the boys responding? Is the kid in question responding well, is he still acting up or is he changing for the better? If your actions are helping him to get better, then it sounds like the problem is just with the mom. If the kid hasn't changed his behavior for the better, then you might want to re-evaluate your methods - but not because the mom is complaining. It may be that she is seeing his reaction to your discipline as being counterproductive, but she may not be expressing her concerns as well. Remember Kipling:
From what you've written here, it sounds like you are acting appropriately, especially since the committee is backing you on this. But just make sure you are getting the results you want.
I am a Cub Scout leader.
If the guy can't, let him fail. As a Cub Scout Leader I believe Boy Scouts is the time to let them, lead, fail and learn.
Hold him to the Scout Law. If he is too busy to take the the time, he does not want it. You may be the first real wall he hits. This may actually teach him you can't talk your way through things.
A grade is a grade in school. A project takes real time and work. Better to learn it before college.
I use the Scout Law when ever I discipline the boys. My discipline is to ask the boys how what they are doing follows the Scout Law. I'm sure the boy in question is failing at "Trustworthy, Loyal" The parents are pushing you to break "Obedient".
I have found the Scout Law and oath fairly solid. We can argue interpretations on a few points. That understood, most actual points where you have to step up and discipline / regulate the boys it works well.
The Scout Law for those who might not remember / know.