I apologize for the very long post. I slightly felt the need to vent.

I gained an interest in a friend of mine who I met two semesters ago and for the past two weeks up to now, we've been talking and getting to know each other (talking as in normal conversing but I did flirt with him a bit). I asked if he was free during the weekend of next week and he told me he was going to Renn Fest and that I should come. It was only him and I at that point but then plans were moved to another day.

I invited him over to my place and we watched a movie. After that, we played video games for a bit and soon he had to leave because he had to meet his friend at our school to give them his textbook for their class (I doubt I'll rarely see him at school considering he's a tutor and is taking seven classes). Before I walked him out to his car, I did kiss him, and we talked about hanging out more and seeing a movie somewhere.

However, he did inform me that he wasn't ready for a relationship after his last one (his ex-boyfriend is also a friend of mine and I've met them two semesters ago when they were dating) and that he respected me enough to not lead me, but also stated that he wanted to hang out more and was delighted for us to be friends (which is mutual on my end). Even though I'm evidently in the friend zone, I'm not really bothered. I'm content with us being friends and glad I made a move. I told him it was perfectly understandable and apologized if I overstepped my boundaries and that if I made him uncomfortable. He said I didn't at all and that I was a total gentlemen.

However, I felt I ruined my "potential chances" one night (apparently according to another forum I'm on he's interested but didn't want to use me as a rebound). We talked and I had confessed that I was interested in him, even though that day I made it rather apparent with the first kiss, but I just wanted to get it off of my chest considering that I had the opportunity because we don't even see each other at school as much now. However, I did say that I understood that he wasn't ready for a relationship and that I appreciated our friendship and didn't want to ruin it. He was glad that I was honest but stated again that he wasn't in dating mode (nor had the feelings to tie himself to a relationship) because he was hurt in the past two relationships and needed to find himself again, and now I felt I just made him distance himself from me, even though he said couldn't wait to hang out again. Ultimately, he's stated that it was best that we were just friends.

One time, I logged onto Facebook and read that he was in a relationship, which did hit me hard a bit. However, I ended up liking because I was happy that he found someone. Later, he messaged me saying he wasn't in a relationship and that his friend hacked his FB. When I asked why did he feel the need to inform me that, he said it was because he recently informed that he wasn't ready for a relationship and that he didn't want me to think of him as an asshole. I responded that I wouldn't and that I'd feel like an asshole if I was angry with him.

Nowadays, we see each other every now and then at school, and I'm planning to hang out with my own friends and focus on school, as a friend advised me to give him time and do my own thing from now on. It's hard to get a hold of him to hang out since I know he's busy with school. I did join a LGBT club with him that he wanted some of us to join and the people there are very nice, and I personally wouldn't mind befriending them. I consider that as a step of doing my own thing and trying something new to meet new people since I said I would never join a LGBT group.

Overall, I don't know what to do. I've told myself to move on and focus on myself, but I'm also paranoid that if I stop showing interest that I'll face one of those situation that when I move on, the other person liked me too. I know, it's very stupid, even though I feel I handled the situation with maturity.

Views: 60

Replies to This Discussion

Typically, I don't think that relationship advice is worth the pixels on the screen. But as an "elder" sexual minority in a stable, long-term relationship, I do think that I might have something to offer.

1. Decide what it is you want from having a relationship with this man.

2. Tell him exactly what that is.

Talk to him. Tell him what you like about him. Find out what he likes about you. Explore what each of you can bring to the life of the other. Talk about your dreams and aspirations. Don't expect anything but honesty. And remember that you'll meet lots of guys, but there are very few who are potentially Mr. Right.

RSS

Latest Activity

Jay D replied to Vickyo's discussion Boyfriend has no ambition
"Ask him why it is that he doesnt want to work before christmas. Maybe he does have legitimate reasons. Got people among my year that decided to write the bachelors thesis half a year later just to have a free summer and time to watch the world cup,…"
2 hours ago
Daniel Rodriguez replied to Christopher Chillingworth's discussion For anyone Interested in a Side Hustle.
"Now that...that really stinks. "
2 hours ago
Brad Williams replied to Christopher Chillingworth's discussion For anyone Interested in a Side Hustle.
"What pisses me off about MLM is that is all the damage it does to friendships as a casualty of greed.  As a former personal trainer, I saw this in the gym all the time with people selling vitamins and other shit ... even coaches trying to get…"
3 hours ago
Michael D. Denny replied to Christopher Chillingworth's discussion For anyone Interested in a Side Hustle.
""just trying to help others .."   That is the tagline to every MLM B.S. claptrap in the world. If you want to advertise your little cheeseball pyramid scam, contact the site owner and ask him about doing so. Like a man. This…"
3 hours ago
Michael D. Denny replied to Vickyo's discussion Boyfriend has no ambition
"Dump him, and make sure he understands why.   Long and short: He is trying to resist growing up. You're dating a manchild.   Dump him, dump him, dump him. Now. And tell him it's because he has no life goals, no…"
3 hours ago
Kurt replied to Stein's discussion Around the house in the group The Shirtless Man
"My absolute favorite way to walk around the house is completely naked. Not always practical since I love to keep all the windows open when it's nice out for the cool breeze. Theres something sensual about being around the house naked, like…"
4 hours ago
Kurt replied to Rick Stevens's discussion Working Outside Shirtless in the group The Shirtless Man
"I was washing and waxing my motorcycle in shorts and that's it. I was getting some serious admirers. Made me feel good and not so subconscious. "
4 hours ago
Kurt replied to Peter Amara's discussion Shirt Style at Work in the group The Shirtless Man
"I agree with the T-shirt guys. I sweat like crazy all the time. I'm never not hot!! I get a lot of sweat down the swell of my back and between my pecs, which just sits in the hair . I can't imagine ever going t shirt less, which is why I…"
4 hours ago

© 2014   Created by Brett McKay.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service