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Comment by Will on February 15, 2013 at 6:29am

I thought I'd close the group, since there's been no activity for about a year.  There's at least one other group on the same topic.

Comment by Justin Lillich on April 28, 2011 at 2:13pm

Great points, Mr. Kelly! Thank you for speaking to them. She is definitely a time and attention sort, so I think the first course of action is spending both with her!

Comment by Bruce D. Kelly on April 28, 2011 at 1:59pm

Justin,

I think being romantic can mean different things to different people. What your wife will see as a romantic gesture might be different from my wife. I think you really need to have an honest talk with her.

I think in general, no matter what the specific actions are, most women appreciate you being thoughtful, respectful, and present. Being romantic isn't really about buying or giving things it's about giving time and attention. You can use all the right words but in the end what consistent effort and actions on your part will leave her with no doubt in her mind that she is appreciated, wanted, needed, respected, and loved.

You say she's said she's told you things that you haven't picked up on. Part of the conversation should probably be, "honey maybe I'm a little more dense than you give me credit for, if I'm not doing something please tell me and don't hide clues like Easter eggs then get frustrated when I don't find them. Especially if I think things are fine and I don't even know I'm supposed to look." On the other hand, you being more present and making a real effort to pick up on some of the things she's telling you could be perceived as being romantic in and of itself. Or at least creditable for moving in the right direction. One of the biggest problems is both of you falling into the trap of assuming that the other person is "just supposed to know" then letting little resentments build into big ones when they don't. Neither of you are mind-readers. Talk.

Comment by Justin Lillich on April 28, 2011 at 1:08pm

Hi Chaps!

So, this stems from nearly 8 years with my wife. In that time, I've never been hugely romantic. I've got the worst creativity when it comes to this sort of thing. I fancy myself a writer, so I have creativity when it comes to stories (mostly science fiction tripe). What my question here is "What does it mean to be romantic?" It's not that she's super complex, it's just that she does so much for other people that I can't really gauge what she wants in this area. She has said that she tells me things and I haven't picked up on them. Hmmm... I know it's my problem, but just something to jog my juices. Thanks!

Comment by Sean Cox on January 7, 2011 at 4:09am

Gentlemen, I am in need of some advice. I have been in a relationship since May with a lovely young woman name Charlotte, this is both of ours second serious relationship, we both dated our previous girlfriend/boyfriend for almost 3 years and we have talked a lot about what we learned from those relationships and personally I believe that I have become a much better man and a much better boyfriend from having that first experience. Things between Charlotte and I are going great....but.

 

We both live in Vancouver right now, she is a teacher and I am finishing my undergraduate degree this May. After my degree I am going to be moving to the U.S. for graduate school. She knows this and we've talked about it and until about a month ago we were planning on doing a long distance relationship. Now, since having been away from her for several weeks over the holidays I've come to realize that I do not want to do a long distance relationship, I really care for Charlotte but I am not ready or willing to have the relationship "long distance".

 

My question is, what would you do? I still have until May or June in Vancouver before moving to California but I feel like since I don't want to have a long distance relationship the best thing to do and the right thing to do is to break up now. I feel like I would be delaying the inevitable and that the breakup would be much harder if I put it off until before I moved.

 

This isn't an easy question and there is no one "right" answer, I guess I'm just in need of some men to share their thoughts and their points of view.

 

Cheers,

 

Sean

 

Comment by I'mCosy on January 3, 2011 at 12:44pm

Thanks... no, I have just downloaded all the books; haven't had the chance to read them,  yet... :)

Comment by Bruce D. Kelly on January 3, 2011 at 12:21pm

Hello I'mCosy. Thank you for the link. I actually already know about that giveaway from Harlequin. My wife is Leslie Kelly and she wrote the Blaze title that is included in the package. If you've read it I hope you enjoyed it!

 

Bruce

Comment by Bruce D. Kelly on August 25, 2010 at 1:04pm

I have a question for you. I'm working on a project dealing with relationships and romance. If you could sit down with a room full of romance writers and ask them anything about women, relationships, romance, what qualities they think women want in a man, etc., what would you ask? Thanks.

Comment by Dutchman on February 2, 2010 at 12:43pm

So for Garet...

It is a know fact that couples who clean house together have more sex.
look it up in google if you dont believe me.
So get up off your ass and stop watching tv and Vacuum the rugs while she dusts. Scrub the floor while she straightens up somewhere else. Scrub the shower and bathroom, pick up your sh@t off the floor and help her make the bed. Knock out some honey do stuff she has been bugging you about.
Then after you have put in some elbow grease and effort. Offer to cook her dinner... dont overdo it. She knows what kind of a cook you are... just take care of it. Make an effort. Get her favorite flowers, alcohol of choice to liquor her up, and while she is eating food you cooked in a kitchen YOU helped clean drinking some red wine... and you clean up the dishes after the two of you eat... boy howdy you will be getting some.
This will also help with the relationship.
Here is also something to get you some points with her.
When your friends call up to go out to a bar with them... tell them. (within earshot of your wife) that you are not going out on boys night and am staying home with my girl... and hang up. They are your friends and will get over it. They will tease you relentlessly but then again they dont sleep with you.

Comment by Dutchman on February 2, 2010 at 12:36pm

By the way I see in this post alot of "hey how is it done? or " yo, i am a Casanova"
Ask specific questions...
Like this... "I am in a bar and I see this girl who is looking at me... what do I do?"
There will be more activity in this forum with answers instead of general unanswerable questions.

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