hello this is my first post to this website.

I found this website a while ago  but for one reason or another i did not post. the time i spent watching has helped me through some dark times.

 the nineth of january 2013 is the day that the world stopped for me - my dad died. It is the worst thing i have endured and still am. We are lucky that my dad was involved in the local church so as part of his legacy we have a network of people we can call on. however when i do i feel guilt because even though he was sick he did not bother any one else. he was taken way to fast, eight months after been told he had colonrectal cancer. he was 59 on the 5th march 2013.

 

it is funny that the date that sticks in my mind is the nineth and not the day we were told that he wasn't coming home - for the life of me i cannot remember that day . i remember the first when he was taken in i remember every thing that happened but what day it was i cannot. the next date is the 7th when we were called in and that is only from workng it out that it was on the third day he died.

I remember the nineth of jan. that evening i was talking to my mams sister and i was worried that my mam was saying he died. i was worried that she saw it as the end - he hadn't  died he had passed on. it was me that had the problem.

 

after his death my mam said she wanted to forget the past eight months , i said i wanted t thank him i still do . my dad had lost his dad less than four years ago and his mother years before that it affected his family but not like this - i don't think.

 

don't get me wrong we have cried, rejoyced, remembered, laughed and everything in between the last two months but it is still a hard path to follow.

 

i think thats enough for a first post

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Views: 88

Replies to This Discussion

Thank you for sharing yourself in such a brave and authentic way.  Jay

great first post. There will definitely be some change in families. I know after my dad passed, my mother pretty much ended her relationship with his family. It puts you in an awkward scenario for sure, but you have to do best for you. Your mom and other family will all grieve differently, as we are all unique humans! Feel free to contact me through your process, I know it's an ongoing affair and it helps to not feel alone!

thank you for your reassurance, i just had a bad day yesterday, today i am ready to take on the world.

RSS

Latest Activity

Ricky Jones replied to Nick the Clever's discussion What Did You Major in, and Why?
"It has been a great experience. I made friends, had experiences and saw things that I would never have been able to if I had just stayed at home. It was initially a little challenging but once I got confident in my classroom management, it became a…"
1 hour ago
Jay D replied to Jack Demo's discussion How to go from the funny idiot/class clown type into a more respected and serious man?
"Speaking less might be a golden tip here. Dont try to get attention."
2 hours ago
Jay D replied to Paul H's discussion Retaining information.
"I just mark stuff and make notes. For me it is enough to understand and find it again, rathr beeing able to memorize it."
2 hours ago
Nick the Clever replied to Nick the Clever's discussion What Did You Major in, and Why?
"Sounds like you were stuck between a rock and a hard place and made a tough decision to get out of it! I wish you the best of luck in getting your masters degree, and thanks for sharing! It's surprising to see how many individuals on here have…"
3 hours ago
Nick the Clever replied to Nick the Clever's discussion What Did You Major in, and Why?
"How do you like teaching in South Korea? Did you have a bit of culture shock initially?!"
3 hours ago
Michael J. K. added a discussion to the group Philology: A Group for Verbivores
Thumbnail

walking though clouds a poem

Walking Through Clouds . we walk but we do not seeit takes a while to focusthe clouds get in the way.some say they do not seethe clouds in the way butthey are there anyway.I see the clouds clearlybut others never see themthey are looking at their feet.Sometimes the clouds liftand I can see for days butthen the clouds come back.I walk among the cloudsI also see through themwalking careful with open eyes.Some people choose what theywant to see while on Earth, andsome never see well at all.. I…See More
3 hours ago
Todd Serveto replied to Pale Horse's discussion Hillary Clinton in the group The Great Debate
"Kenneth Armstrong said:  And, the pity is, even with the whole litany of felonies laid out for you in basic terms, you still just don't (or won't) "get it" and have that light bulb moment of clarity. That's what people…"
4 hours ago
Madhukar Perumandla updated their profile
4 hours ago

© 2015   Created by Brett McKay.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service