I just turned 19 two weeks ago. On January 31, 2014, my dad OD'd in his office at work in the middle of the night. I found out from his partner at work who lives in our neighborhood. I came downstairs, was about to head out the door to go to school, when I heard my mom wailing and saw him standing there in his pajamas holding my mom. I threw my bag down and ran over and asked what happened. That is when he said "Your dad is dead." It didn't seem real at first, but I still immediately fell to the ground in-between them and started crying. Then I got up, ran out the door and down the street in our neighborhood. I ran until I couldn't run any more. Then I sat down on the curb and started crying. Sometime later, could have been 5-10-15 minutes later, our neighbor drove up, parked, and said that my mom needed me right now. I sat there another couple minutes, then got in his truck and went home.
I have one brother who is 2 years older than me. I have 4 grandparents. 3 of whom are biological. I had one really close cousin, but she got married to a Marine and he got stationed in Okinawa. My brother lives and goes to school in Atlanta. I will be leaving for the University of Alabama in Huntsville next Friday.
While preparing for college and the next step in my life, I have come up with hundreds of questions that only a father could answer.
I started blacksmithing a few weeks ago, and just recently did I realize that one of the reasons I started that was because most of the men there are old and wise.
I was wanting a father figure. A mentor. I would give anything to have someone who could take me out somewhere, whether to dinner or just doing something at the park or go fishing or anything, and answer my questions and give me advise that is time tested.
I don't know if this will ever happen. I hope it will.
My name is Hunter, and I feel orphaned.
Hunter, I hear you, man. And understand. I lost my dad when I was 16. Life is shitty and unfair and sometimes you just don't know what to do next. But you're not alone. Know that. And you will move forward, some days easier than others. But recognize how you feel and don't be afraid to be afraid. You've been dealt a bad hand, but there's more in store for you. Just take time to process it all. Have faith. You'll get through it.
I also understand Hunter. I still miss my father.