Guys how do you deal with life's dreams that are gone, will never happen. Some of them were stupid, but some were very good. I'm retired, feeling kind of like it's over. Feeling like I've lost my way. I believe God has a plan but I still fill like I've lost my way. Anyone understand this?

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I understand how you feel. But if you still have your health then you can just make some new dreams! I had to retire at 50 because of illness. My retirement is going to the doctors or into the hospital. Kind of sad when the nurses know you by name and treat you like family LOL. But it is what it is. I do get weeks of good times and can travel a little so I am very blessed by that. 

I love your attitude, Michael.  Keep it up, buddy!

I am really sorry you are feeling this way. I retire in two years and I think it's really important for a guy to find new interests when he retires. Now that you are free from career restraints, what are you involved in that makes life better for yourself and others? I volunteer one day a week at the local elementary school helping kids who are behind in their homework...the great way to find your way...it's great you know God has a plan for you...is to build a new way....what do you have to offer your local community? What guy groups are in the local churches you could be a part of? What social groups are available? If you look around, you will find you are still REALLY needed, just in a different way.

I had a job in which my deficiencies were not only compensated for by the environment and by the team complementing my deficiencies, but where the appreciation of my strengths actually helped me be better at my deficiencies. At age 47 I left that job because my family needed to be in a different place. I was optimistic. It's been nine years, and I have not found a situation which would take me in in that way. I have been trying to freelance for nine years but I am alone and my deficiencies are magnified. I no longer have much hope of doing things that I feel I am good at because the things I'm not good at make me fail at the things I am good at. My dreams were so simple, to feel like I'm doing things I love and feel good about them. I'm pretty much at the stage where I fear I have lost that dream.

Man, can I relate to that! What I've been wanting to start is a group of mature men who are willing to take time to deliberately pass along what it means to be a man to a group of young men, "initiates", and put them through an intense rite of passage experience that would take place over an entire summer. I've had many terrible and painful failures, I've learned from them, and it's my desire to make a difference and prevent this as much as possible for as many as possible. Maybe a shift of focus might help? After all, I'm sure during your life you've learned some incredibly valuable lessons, and now your at the time of life where you can transition into being a sage, an elder, and it could be the most rewarding time of your life thus far.

Chin up and keep plugging away! If this is something you are interested in, let me know. Maybe we can compare notes...  Thomas

At this age, maybe chasing and slaying Don Quixote's windmills is no longer my quest. Don't wish to get all Oprah, but I've come to the clear conclusion (for me) 'living in the moment is what I want to be about. Cheers!

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