Guys how do you deal with life's dreams that are gone, will never happen. Some of them were stupid, but some were very good. I'm retired, feeling kind of like it's over. Feeling like I've lost my way. I believe God has a plan but I still fill like I've lost my way. Anyone understand this?

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Hey Wayne, I am about to retire soon. I remember all the fun things that I did and dreamed of doing. Don't feel like it's over! It can be a time to experience great adventures and really 

"taste" life . If others don't want to join you, skip them and move to what you really want for yourself. Check out Ayn Rand's philosophy and read some uplifting books.

Don't wait on some god to magically change things for the better. He won't!

Take care buddy:)


Wayne, I certainly understand you.  In fact, I share some of the same feeling, but please understand me when I say that we are both wrong.  Well, the feeling isn't wrong.  We don't know how much time each one of us has left, but why not start some new dreams and see if they can be fulfilled?  My mother just died at age 96.  If I live as long as she did (probably not, but who knows?), I have another 33 years of dreams.

Thanks Earl, I try to think that way>

Back when I was in graduate school (some 40 years ago), human growth charts had as the last column "65+".  Now the last column I understand is "95+".

At the age of 66 I view (my) life as chapters in a book.  I will never be 20 again, but I can make the most of being a (mostly) retired Boomer.

Did I accomplish everything that I thought I would in high school?  No.  But some of those things were crazy, and at this stage in life I am glad that I didn't.  (And I accomplished some things I never even dreamed about in high school.)

But (my) life's not over.  I just got up this morning, and I remember what I was told years ago: When you open your eyes in the morning, you have been given a gift.  So what are you going to do with it?

Oh, yes!  I'm almost 60.  I believe everyone has regrets.  I wish I had done things differently.  But none of us knows what our lives would have been, had we done what we set out to do, or had done things the way we now wish we had.  I'm glad I'm a dad.  I wish I had been a better dad.  I believe that, had I made different choices, I might not have become a father.  I'm a father of 3 and grandfather of 6.  Had I done things differently, I might not have lived as long as I have.  

I also believe that God can take the trash and the broken pieces of my life, and make something beautiful out of it.  He can also take the good things, and make them better. God wants us to look FORWARD, to what He has for us, in Heaven, and believe that He has forgiven and completely forgotten our sins (Isaiah 43:25).  The enemy of God wants us to look BACKWARDS, at what we've done, and believe that God is disgusted with us, wanting nothing further to do with us.  God loves us.  The enemy of God hates us.  

Don't stop dreaming.  Don't  believe that your life is over!

Thanks Larry.

Wayne - I totally get you on this.  And as much of an optimist as I attempt to be, some of this post might sound pessimistic.  I've had 3 things throughout my life that has led me to feel like major life events are now over:  1) I was always singly focused.  In fact, I still tend to put all my eggs in one basket & it's hard for me to deviate outside that box.  For example, when I raised my children, I was, and remain an amazing dad.  It's still my greatest achievement and my crowning "moment" in life.  However, my children are raised now and that era is over.  That was what I did for 20-plus years & when that was over I had little else which to revert.  2) I've never been a dreamer.  I've had others ask me "what are your dreams for life?".  I get frustrated by the question because I don't have any.  Maybe because I'm afraid of failure.  Worse yet, maybe I'm afraid of success.  I heard a developmental leader say that after every achievement we succeed at, we should ask the question, "ok, what's next?".  3) I never took risks.  I've always stayed with safe jobs, safe activities, and never wanted to be criticized.  Another stinging quote from a leader is "say nothing, do nothing, be nothing". 

Other than finding someone who relates to you, I doubt any of the above helps you at all.  However, if you like, we can correspond privately in an effort to challenge each other.  It's easy to tell from this post that I could use a challenge and I'd be happy to provide that to you as well if I'm able.  Let me know.

Thanks AK, I added you to my friends.  

Hey there Wayne. I think you're feeling a sort of mid-life stress that about all of us go through at some point. My life certainly hasn't turned out the way I had thought it would, and I can't say that in all my years I've ever come across anyone who had their life work out exactly as they'd planned. Don't let the negativity of another person act as a wedge to drive you away from God, and keep seeking His will in your life. Remember, He doesn't view time the way we do. As my pastor said, "God is never too early, but He's never too late either." The country song about unanswered prayers also comes to my mind when I think of things I was silly enough to place importance on back in my younger years.

I understand you're feeling like you don't have any direction right now, but concentrate on what's right about your life instead of what's lacking in it. No doubt, you probably have more to be proud of than you think. At 52, I'm not where I expected to be in my 20's. I'm divorced, childless, and have only one member of my immediate family left. What I do have are a few valued friends, a job that I find very rewarding, a church family that I couldn't do without, and a life that I (most of the time) take great joy in. I'm sure that if you break things into their finer parts, you have more going for you than you think.

I hope you're in a better frame of mind, and that the period of self-doubt has passed. Best regards.

Thanks Kenneth, your right.

This reminds me of my own post here awhile ago; I had just read Brett's magnum opus and realized, for the first time, that much of what he set down was no longer attainable at my age. I've come to grips with that fact; and am owning it now rather than lamenting it.
As for you; you say you are retired? I don't ever want to be retired; can't imagine living life merely existing. Perhaps that is what is getting you down. I assume then you don't have a to worry about putting food on the table or a roof over your head; that is awesome! I envy that.
One thing I've done, and it's really helped me, is go out and volunteer. It's greatly helped with the transition as my girls needed me less as a parent. It's made me realize there are so many good, worthy causes out there that are understaffed because it's hard to find people like you. So get out there and try a few; use them to try things you maybe always wanted to do, or something a bit scary that would be a stretch, and if you master it, well, that's an incredible boost.
Life is not over till YOU say it is. As for your mission, your plan; well that is up to you to find out. And finding out is an important part of the journey.
So yes, I do understand, and believe you can come out of this stronger.
Good luck, and best wishes to you.

True, Carl.  "Retirement" is just another chapter in life, it is not "living life merely existing."  I am mostly retired and I love the freedom I have now.  Freedom to do things I never had time to do -- or never made time for.


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