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Manly Dads

This group is for men out there who have children and are looking for a better way to balance manhood with fatherhood

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Comment by Blake Sibley on March 2, 2014 at 3:26am

Just joined. Great group. I am the father of four. Daughters are 19, 14 and 7. Son is 17. A gentleman said in an earlier post- "Don't Blink." I whole heartedly agree. Well into my career, I find that the work life balance seems to be leaning more on the "work" side than the "life" side. Get the time while you can- no matter how short the time is, no matter how much you may think its not a big deal... it probably is a big deal to them. I know of nobody who ever said on their deathbed, "Gee, I wish I could have spent more time at work."

Comment by Daniel Piccolo on August 26, 2013 at 7:34am

Thanks for the advice Joe W, and Mr Bill. Have iPhone, with lots of games she likes on it (she uses it better than my wife, sometimes), and some tv shows she likes downloaded on it.

Being in Canada, crossing provincial borders isn't a problem with permissions.  If I wanted to go to south (my hometown is at the top of HWY 61!) then I think it's necessary.

Also with the iPhone (and matching iPad back home) we can Facetime, which I intend to do whenever I get the chance (email photos, stuff like that).

Comment by Joe W on August 24, 2013 at 7:10pm

Mr. Bill's comments are right on. Plus, don't forget to obtain a letter from your wife stating she's granting you permission to take the kid out of the state. My wife and I flew down to FL from NJ separately twice now and both times letters were needed.

As for the little one... got a tablet? Put some of her favorite movies on it. It'll entertain her when all else fails.

Comment by Mr Bill on August 23, 2013 at 2:34pm

Hey Dan'l,

Create an agenda showing the wifey what you will be doing, where you will be going, how to get ahold of you (landlines) at each place you will be - in case the cell phone happens not to work or something weird like that. Hopefully it will help ease her anxiety a bit.

Take along copies of yours and hers birth certificates and marriage certificate to your wife along with any other possible official paperwork proving that she is your kid. I hope you never need to use it, but it's so much better to be prepared just in case.

Take LOTS of time to get to where you are going. Stress - traveling or otherwise - is a bugger. Keep in touch with the wife to let her know what you are doing. Those apron strings don't stretch very well. Especially that far away.

Have a laptop with Skype?

Oh, and give the young-un something to suck on or chew on in the airplane to help with the air pressure changes. Good luck man.

Comment by Daniel Piccolo on August 23, 2013 at 2:00pm

Hey guys, got a question/request for advice. 

My wife and I have a daughter (17 mths old) and next week, I'm taking her to visit my father in my hometown (1000's of miles away... 4 hr drive + 4 + hour flight). 

First, anybody here do something similar? Any tips/tricks? Shes' a bit of a daddy's girl, so I'm not TOO worried, but advice is being solicited.

Second, since my wife couldn't get leave, I'm doing this solo.  However,  her maternal instinct is kicking in pretty bad because if this. Any ideas on how to ease that? (A bit of background, I'm her 2nd husband, she has 3 children from her first, and they do have to go visit from time to time, which is partially why she is so wound up).

Thanks in advance guys!

Comment by Brian Splash on June 23, 2013 at 1:33am
Steve I was talking to a friend about this subject the other day and he said that the best ever time he had with his father was a muster like the one from the movie " city slickers " he was 14 it was a two week cattle drive he had a horse he had to saddle and look after every day , sleep in his own tent that he had to set up every evening after looking after the horse .
Comment by Steve G on June 21, 2013 at 9:13pm

Rite of passage update...building workbench with and for my sons.  I built my first 2 weeks ago with their help.  I told them I thought they were old enough (twins) to have their own workbench and they are helping with the construction.  Should be done by tomorrow.  We'll start some of their projects together and they'll graduate to their own projects in time.  As part of the construction, passed down to them an older cordless drill/driver.  They are thrilled and we'll use that tomorrow to finish the bench.  

Comment by Steve G on January 18, 2013 at 2:08pm

Thanks for the comments.  I didn't have rites of passage activities growing up.  They comment in the book that the rites of passage over the past few decades have been blurred.  Not sure why that is, different reasons for different situations.  Giving them more freedom is a great idea, as is reconditioning a muscle car when they're older.  Near term we'll probably keep to camping, having them start the campfire themselves for the first time.

Comment by Reese Fay on December 28, 2012 at 1:57am
@ Steve G, I did a bicycle tour across Minnisota at 14 years old. I was doing a lot of cycling and my dad told me that he trusted me to do it on my own and he was proud of me for being able to do it. The tour was with a group but every day I had to buy food and organize my stuff. I also had to set up my camp every day and tear it down and be on my way every morning. I learned a lot during that trip and it felt good that my dad had faith that I could take care of myself. I am now 42 and he still comes to my races. Sometimes there is a rite of passage right there and we don't know it. Good luck!!
Comment by Brian Splash on December 28, 2012 at 1:44am
@Steve , when I was sixteen my father and I bought and reconditioned a HQ manaro from the ground up , it was finished just before I got my licence ( Australian licences are given at 18 )
 

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