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Manly Dads

This group is for men out there who have children and are looking for a better way to balance manhood with fatherhood

Members: 599
Latest Activity: Jun 21

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Started by Dal. Last reply by Todd McFarland Feb 15. 31 Replies

Expecting #3

Started by Joe W. Last reply by Joe W Nov 21, 2015. 6 Replies

Any of you guys Stay-at-Home Dads?

Started by J. D.. Last reply by Daniel Piccolo Nov 9, 2015. 1 Reply

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Comment by Salt Dragon on March 7, 2017 at 3:08pm

I’m in a quandary about my 12 year old son and looking for some insight.  He has behavior problems in school which I believe are related to his mother’s mental illness.  She has primary custody and rewards his negative attention seeking, doesn’t set boundaries, lets him spend countless hours in isolation on his phone and doesn’t support him socially unless he asks her.  The school called yesterday and was concerned that he says he wants to die.  I am not alarmed and see it as depression and anxiety.  When I have him I hold him accountable and emphasize his independence and being peer-oriented, but I can understand that his mother’s codependency is stronger and nothing I would choose to compete against.  I will see our counselor but she is adamant that the problem is not our son but our parenting.  My ex refuses to see her because I never change.  Together we’ve burned through many counselors because no one can hold her accountable. 

 

I have good dialogue with the hands on people in my son’s life:  school, parents of his only friend, scout leaders and youth group.  My plan is to continue to work closely with them, touching base with our counselor, and informing my ex about the activities but not seeking her buy in or participation.  I feel sad for my son and alone in parenting, but grateful for a supportive community.  I’m also disconnecting from my ex to parallel parent, be polite as I can and know that things will get easier when she cycles into the more positive part of her (bipolar?) swings.  Legally I have few options.  I can’t control her negative influence but can do my best to pull our son into more positive peer-oriented relationships, and then let go of the results.  Is it enough?  

Comment by Gentleman Engineer on January 11, 2017 at 5:24pm

Which portion of chronology would aught devote to the bairns—of a manner wee, or otherwise in nature?

Comment by J. D. on August 27, 2015 at 8:53am

Couldn't agree more!

Comment by Jedidiah Dunn on July 1, 2015 at 8:07am

Good Morning Gentlemen just a quick heads up to anyone who is a member of the AOM book club that a book has been selected for July. The Road by Cormac McCarthy- a father son journey though a post -apocalyptic wasteland full of cannibals, winner of the Pulitzer prize in 2007. A very manly dad book.

Comment by Brian West on June 30, 2015 at 10:20pm

Good work, Brad.  Hang in there, J.D.  I'm sure you'll come out just as Brad did. 

Comment by Brad Thompson on June 30, 2015 at 9:24pm
I've got 3 girls, 1 in high school and 2 already launched successfully. Fathering them has been a crazy journey. Often, I felt like I was clueless, but I kept moving forward, doing the best I could. I'm proud of all 3 of them. Raising them is absolutely my greatest accomplishment.
Comment by J. D. on June 29, 2015 at 9:51pm

I don't know how much you will learn from me as our little girl was only born a little under 14 months ago.  My wife says I'm a good daddy, but I sure as heck don't feel like one most of the time.  But regardless, I'm definitely new to fatherhood and am still trying to learn and improve.

Comment by Brian West on June 29, 2015 at 9:00pm

This seems like an excellent group to join.  At 33, my wife is pregnant with our first child.  In today's society, being a manly father, let alone a good father, is important.  I hope I can learn from  you guys. 

Comment by Richard Flannery on February 9, 2015 at 1:21pm

Lol your not alone J.D. I will never understand why 9 month olds need hard soled shoes. 

Comment by J. D. on February 9, 2015 at 12:44pm

My little 9-month girl has been crawling around for about a month, but now likes to spend much of her time climbing up onto and over anything that interests her, including and especially her Dad.  Following an unfortunate incident last week where she smashed her little elbow right into my crotch, I've had to take to wearing a cup at all times.  I'm not sure how many other Dads do or have had to do this, but regardless, I need to avoid the pain and make sure the equipmemnt works so this kid can have some sibblings.  It's just one of a great many aspects of becoming a Dad I never anticipated.

 

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