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Male Survivors

Men who have survived childhood abuse

Website: http://www.isurvivor.ning.com
Location: WORLD
Members: 34
Latest Activity: yesterday

Discussion Forum

Understanding the abuse

Started by Michael J. K.. Last reply by David Johns yesterday. 1 Reply

There really are no words to tell you what happen to me when I was sexually abused. Years later I am starting to understand more what it has done to me. I am so grateful for loving people around me…Continue

Friendships

Started by Jon. Last reply by Michael J. K. on Tuesday. 14 Replies

What I still have not figured out is how to have bros..real ones...the kind of guys who hold your feet to the fire, and have your back.   I've been alone all my life and until recently didn't have…Continue

undoing the damage

Started by Michael J. K.. Last reply by Michael J. K. Jul 10. 11 Replies

Learning to be me with out the damage.Trying to undo the damage they did to me as a child.As much as possible I want a life I can live where the past hurts are showing up very little.   I know all…Continue

Lucky to be alive and living a good life

Started by Michael J. K.. Last reply by Joe W Jun 27. 3 Replies

It is not the 30 plus that sexually abused me or raped me. It is not the 20 plus that beat me up in high school after moving to a red neck high school. It is not all those that hurt me when I was 30…Continue

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Comment by Michael J. K. on April 5, 2014 at 6:36am

HOPE-- "It is difficult to say what is impossible, for the dream of yesterday is the hope of today and the reality of tomorrow." ~~Robert H. Goddard

We all need hope, love, and understanding. My dream is more love and kindness for the world. As much as that can happen. They say love makes the world go round. I say love makes someone's day when it is recieved and also for the one giving it. Love is so much easier than hate. Let us start thinking about love more. ~~ Michael Joseph Andrew Kullik

Comment by David Johns on November 24, 2013 at 8:46pm

Yes, Phillip, welcome to the group.

Comment by Phillip T on November 24, 2013 at 3:25pm

Thanks Joe!

Comment by Joe W on November 23, 2013 at 11:54pm

Welcome to the group, Phillip

Comment by Phillip T on November 23, 2013 at 10:25pm

Hello guys. I am a survivor, and I have had tons of therapy and am at peace with my past. 

Comment by David Johns on October 29, 2013 at 6:23am

I agree with Bob.  I remember the events that happened to me when I was 4 or 5, but I do not feel a need to share the details in here with "the whole world" (I would share them privately with anyone who might be helped though).  A therapist who specializes in (male) sexual abuse and who has a good reputation could be helpful.  The effects through the years of my abuse will never disappear; they just happened and they cannot be erased.  But my life after dealing with it has changed, and it can change for other men as well.

Comment by Bob Giraldi on October 28, 2013 at 11:55pm

Its really hard to say.  Some people never remember,which might be nature's way of protecting us. On the other hand, those who suspect it might have happened, like you, are always left wondering.  You seem to have some of the indicators, e.g., years of your childhood you can't account for, ashamed of your body, discomfort at being touched.  Its all circumstantial, you can't infer from the symptoms that you were sexually abused, other things can cause these things to happen. Still, if you do decide to pursue this you should find someone to work with who is really really good and knows what they're doing, and has a lot of years of experience. I would also recommend a male therapist, I find that for this type of thing men relate better to other men. 

Comment by T Patrick Bailey on October 28, 2013 at 9:58pm

New to AOM and surprised to see this group. I am 56 years old and have years of my childhood that I can't remember. I too was told I would never amount to anything. Not certain that there was sexual abuse but I did not wear shorts or tight clothing until mid twenties-I was ashamed of my body. I still am uncomfortable being touched. What value is trying to remember at this point? Would it be healing or should some things be left buried? I would welcome others views on this. 

Comment by Bob Giraldi on October 28, 2013 at 5:46pm

That's right. Rarely is the other child tied up and raped, its more subtle ways of taking advantage of--and taking their innocence.  As a result, we grow up thinking or feeling certain ways, and its not until later in life that we realize why and begin to understand what actually happened.

Comment by David Johns on October 28, 2013 at 2:47pm

Steve, glad you're here.  Men abused as children have special issues because rarely are we tied up and raped.  Usually it is a person we trust taking advantage of our being an innocent kid.  And most frequently we cannot recognize that till we are in our 30s.

 

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