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Male Survivors

Men who have survived childhood abuse

Website: http://www.isurvivor.ning.com
Location: WORLD
Members: 29
Latest Activity: on Thursday

Discussion Forum

Incest dealing with it years later- may trigger

Started by MiCHAEL J K.. Last reply by MiCHAEL J K. on Thursday. 4 Replies

When it was going on I just did what I could to get through it.I am not sure how I got though being molested by my grand parents at 5.I am not sure how I got through being molested annally by my…Continue

Pain is still lingering sometimes it stays a long long time

Started by MiCHAEL J K.. Last reply by MiCHAEL J K. Apr 4. 8 Replies

not sure what to think I was hoping the pain caused my memories and my brain to keep me from the pain of the abuse by making my body hurt.I read up on psychosomatic pain and it helped me understand a…Continue

There are Many forms of abuse.

Started by Rick Thompson. Last reply by balund Apr 2. 11 Replies

Sometimes it seems that people forget just how damaging non-sexual forms of child abuse can be.Now don't get me wrong, I am in no way downplaying the horror of sexual abuse.But the other forms of…Continue

Take only what you need

Started by MiCHAEL J K. Apr 2. 0 Replies

Take Only What You NeedWhen I see an antdo I step on it andend its life? It mayseem like a smallinsect to me, butto him it is his life.When someonesees a child dothey hurt that childlike it will not…Continue

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Comment by MiCHAEL J K. on April 5, 2014 at 6:36am

HOPE-- "It is difficult to say what is impossible, for the dream of yesterday is the hope of today and the reality of tomorrow." ~~Robert H. Goddard

We all need hope, love, and understanding. My dream is more love and kindness for the world. As much as that can happen. They say love makes the world go round. I say love makes someone's day when it is recieved and also for the one giving it. Love is so much easier than hate. Let us start thinking about love more. ~~ Michael Joseph Andrew Kullik

Comment by David Johns on November 24, 2013 at 8:46pm

Yes, Phillip, welcome to the group.

Comment by Phillip T on November 24, 2013 at 3:25pm

Thanks Joe!

Comment by Joe W on November 23, 2013 at 11:54pm

Welcome to the group, Phillip

Comment by Phillip T on November 23, 2013 at 10:25pm

Hello guys. I am a survivor, and I have had tons of therapy and am at peace with my past. 

Comment by David Johns on October 29, 2013 at 6:23am

I agree with Bob.  I remember the events that happened to me when I was 4 or 5, but I do not feel a need to share the details in here with "the whole world" (I would share them privately with anyone who might be helped though).  A therapist who specializes in (male) sexual abuse and who has a good reputation could be helpful.  The effects through the years of my abuse will never disappear; they just happened and they cannot be erased.  But my life after dealing with it has changed, and it can change for other men as well.

Comment by Bob Giraldi on October 28, 2013 at 11:55pm

Its really hard to say.  Some people never remember,which might be nature's way of protecting us. On the other hand, those who suspect it might have happened, like you, are always left wondering.  You seem to have some of the indicators, e.g., years of your childhood you can't account for, ashamed of your body, discomfort at being touched.  Its all circumstantial, you can't infer from the symptoms that you were sexually abused, other things can cause these things to happen. Still, if you do decide to pursue this you should find someone to work with who is really really good and knows what they're doing, and has a lot of years of experience. I would also recommend a male therapist, I find that for this type of thing men relate better to other men. 

Comment by T Patrick Bailey on October 28, 2013 at 9:58pm

New to AOM and surprised to see this group. I am 56 years old and have years of my childhood that I can't remember. I too was told I would never amount to anything. Not certain that there was sexual abuse but I did not wear shorts or tight clothing until mid twenties-I was ashamed of my body. I still am uncomfortable being touched. What value is trying to remember at this point? Would it be healing or should some things be left buried? I would welcome others views on this. 

Comment by Bob Giraldi on October 28, 2013 at 5:46pm

That's right. Rarely is the other child tied up and raped, its more subtle ways of taking advantage of--and taking their innocence.  As a result, we grow up thinking or feeling certain ways, and its not until later in life that we realize why and begin to understand what actually happened.

Comment by David Johns on October 28, 2013 at 2:47pm

Steve, glad you're here.  Men abused as children have special issues because rarely are we tied up and raped.  Usually it is a person we trust taking advantage of our being an innocent kid.  And most frequently we cannot recognize that till we are in our 30s.

 

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How the loss of my father at 12 has changed my life.

I have had some good male role models, and some abusive ones too.I was hurt really bad by the death of my father.    I loved him a great deal.And being abused by  a few men in the family, it just made matters worse.I have had several great men in my life, and continue to have great male friends some older some younger.   I also help at a rehab for teenage boys.  As a teacher I make sure to pay attention to as much as I can concerning the well being of my students.  I also make sure the younger…See More
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