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Male Survivors

Men who have survived childhood abuse

Website: http://www.isurvivor.ning.com
Location: WORLD
Members: 35
Latest Activity: Jan 23

Discussion Forum

Touching and Trusting

Started by David R.. Last reply by Michael J. K. Jan 23. 2 Replies

In the Touch Practice group here at AoM, Michael J. K. posted about forming a small retreat for men that will include safe touching.  One comment he made in its description is this: "Main focus is on…Continue

Tags: touch, trust, men, fall

Restoring breathing

Started by Salt Dragon Dec 27, 2015. 0 Replies

I am curious if anyone has pursued healing through breath work.  It's used a lot in yoga and meditation, but I'm realizing how my often shallow irregular breathing is part of the dysfunction of my…Continue

Handling anger/violence directed at you

Started by Carl Monster. Last reply by Salt Dragon Dec 27, 2015. 3 Replies

There is a thread on the main board now, a member who was sucked into a private conflict, who verbally and then physically was the target of violence.It made me think, if I was in that situation I'd…Continue

There are Many forms of abuse.

Started by Rick Thompson. Last reply by Michael J. K. Sep 25, 2015. 16 Replies

Sometimes it seems that people forget just how damaging non-sexual forms of child abuse can be.Now don't get me wrong, I am in no way downplaying the horror of sexual abuse.But the other forms of…Continue

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Comment by Gabriel Ascolese on June 17, 2015 at 6:37am

I can relate to what all the guys on here are saying in one respect or another. My abuse came from my mother who was not only physically but verbally abusive on a daily basis. More so to me than any of her other four children, but out of all of us, I have been the most forgiving because as an adult we were able to talk openly about it and she never made any lame excuses for her behavior. She was a heavy drinker for many years. I took her death the hardest because when I became an adult we became very close friends. I was her main target because I was the most vulnerable. She beat me on nearly a daily basis from early childhood to the age of 13 when I finally punched her in the face during one of the beatings. She stopped after that. I am not proud of punching her but I am proud that I stopped her from ever raising the strap to me again. Also from age 2 until age 6 she would smear my own feces all over me and stick it up my nose and in my mouth. These are things one never really gets over and now at the age of 59, I still carry a lot of guilt for something I had no control over.

Comment by Michael J. K. on June 16, 2015 at 5:18pm

Welcome to the group Kenn

always nice when men who I know

show up.

Comment by Eric on June 15, 2015 at 4:36pm

I always felt responsible for the strife & dysfunction in my family. I left home the first time at 15. I returned a year later but left permanently at 17. I still assume I'm to blame for everything bad. When I had the opportunity to confront my uncle as an adult I didn't because I didn't want to cause more trouble in the family.

Comment by Kenneth on June 15, 2015 at 2:26pm

It's tough putting things that happened to you when you were too young to defend yourself into perspective. I still carry a certain amount of anger and resentment, and a lot of things have been running through my mind since Dad died back in January. I know that things were "different back then" and that you have to find a way to reconcile the emotions attached to those painful memories. I thought I was doing a pretty good job of it, but I guess I'm not there yet. 

Jon, I totally understand what you mean about feeling like "the burden". I guess I always felt that way, even though I tried early on not to ask for anything, or voice any need if I could help it. I started working on our family farm when I was 5, got a paying job when I was 12, and went into the military so I could get gone and earn money for college. Astoundingly, it still felt like I hadn't done enough. 

I'm glad I found this group as well, and wish all of you guys the best.

Comment by Michael J. K. on December 16, 2014 at 8:32am

hope everyone will be having a good holiday season and that they are healing well.

Have a great few weeks

Comment by Michael J. K. on April 5, 2014 at 6:36am

HOPE-- "It is difficult to say what is impossible, for the dream of yesterday is the hope of today and the reality of tomorrow." ~~Robert H. Goddard

We all need hope, love, and understanding. My dream is more love and kindness for the world. As much as that can happen. They say love makes the world go round. I say love makes someone's day when it is recieved and also for the one giving it. Love is so much easier than hate. Let us start thinking about love more. ~~ Michael Joseph Andrew Kullik

Comment by Phillip T on November 24, 2013 at 3:25pm

Thanks Joe!

Comment by Joe W on November 23, 2013 at 11:54pm

Welcome to the group, Phillip

Comment by Phillip T on November 23, 2013 at 10:25pm

Hello guys. I am a survivor, and I have had tons of therapy and am at peace with my past. 

Comment by Bob Giraldi on October 28, 2013 at 11:55pm

Its really hard to say.  Some people never remember,which might be nature's way of protecting us. On the other hand, those who suspect it might have happened, like you, are always left wondering.  You seem to have some of the indicators, e.g., years of your childhood you can't account for, ashamed of your body, discomfort at being touched.  Its all circumstantial, you can't infer from the symptoms that you were sexually abused, other things can cause these things to happen. Still, if you do decide to pursue this you should find someone to work with who is really really good and knows what they're doing, and has a lot of years of experience. I would also recommend a male therapist, I find that for this type of thing men relate better to other men. 

 

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