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Male Survivors

Men who have survived childhood abuse

Website: http://www.isurvivor.ning.com
Location: WORLD
Members: 32
Latest Activity: Jul 8

Discussion Forum

There are Many forms of abuse.

Started by Rick Thompson. Last reply by Salt Dragon Jul 8. 15 Replies

Sometimes it seems that people forget just how damaging non-sexual forms of child abuse can be.Now don't get me wrong, I am in no way downplaying the horror of sexual abuse.But the other forms of…Continue

stand with me

Started by Michael J. K.. Last reply by Jonathan Stone Jun 19. 1 Reply

Posted Today, 12:37 AMI am greatful for many things. But what I have is not the same as what others do to me.That is not something I have it is something they did.No one should ever be sexually…Continue

Hope you are all healing well.

Started by Michael J. K. Dec 9, 2014. 0 Replies

We are all learning about ourselves and healing and finding out way in this world.One of the great things we can do is be there for each other when one of us is down.I hope all of you are doing well,…Continue

Tags: healing, abuse, sexual

listening can be good at times

Started by Michael J. K.. Last reply by Michael J. K. Oct 24, 2014. 1 Reply

Supporting each other is what is needed sometimes especially for men.If others understood how much the sexual abuse effect a survivor male or female, and how everyone looks at men to make some parts…Continue

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Comment by David Johns on June 17, 2015 at 11:59am

I remember talking to a lady in her 70s who told me that she had been told as a child that she was ugly, and that had remained with her for her entire life.

Comment by Gabriel Ascolese on June 17, 2015 at 6:37am

I can relate to what all the guys on here are saying in one respect or another. My abuse came from my mother who was not only physically but verbally abusive on a daily basis. More so to me than any of her other four children, but out of all of us, I have been the most forgiving because as an adult we were able to talk openly about it and she never made any lame excuses for her behavior. She was a heavy drinker for many years. I took her death the hardest because when I became an adult we became very close friends. I was her main target because I was the most vulnerable. She beat me on nearly a daily basis from early childhood to the age of 13 when I finally punched her in the face during one of the beatings. She stopped after that. I am not proud of punching her but I am proud that I stopped her from ever raising the strap to me again. Also from age 2 until age 6 she would smear my own feces all over me and stick it up my nose and in my mouth. These are things one never really gets over and now at the age of 59, I still carry a lot of guilt for something I had no control over.

Comment by Michael J. K. on June 16, 2015 at 5:18pm

Welcome to the group Kenn

always nice when men who I know

show up.

Comment by Eric on June 15, 2015 at 4:36pm

I always felt responsible for the strife & dysfunction in my family. I left home the first time at 15. I returned a year later but left permanently at 17. I still assume I'm to blame for everything bad. When I had the opportunity to confront my uncle as an adult I didn't because I didn't want to cause more trouble in the family.

Comment by Kenneth on June 15, 2015 at 2:26pm

It's tough putting things that happened to you when you were too young to defend yourself into perspective. I still carry a certain amount of anger and resentment, and a lot of things have been running through my mind since Dad died back in January. I know that things were "different back then" and that you have to find a way to reconcile the emotions attached to those painful memories. I thought I was doing a pretty good job of it, but I guess I'm not there yet. 

Jon, I totally understand what you mean about feeling like "the burden". I guess I always felt that way, even though I tried early on not to ask for anything, or voice any need if I could help it. I started working on our family farm when I was 5, got a paying job when I was 12, and went into the military so I could get gone and earn money for college. Astoundingly, it still felt like I hadn't done enough. 

I'm glad I found this group as well, and wish all of you guys the best.

Comment by David Johns on June 4, 2015 at 8:25am

I just heard on the Today show about the 19 and Counting Duggar family sexual abuse situation that the father says his son is not a pedophile because "pedophiles are adults touching children inappropriately, and this was a child touching another child."

As a survivor of childhood and adolescent sexual abuse which began when taken advantage of by a neighborhood older boy, I know that the general rule is that if there is a 4-year difference between the children, then it is sexual abuse and not just "children playing doctor" or whatever.

My first abuser was 3 years older than me I found out many years later.  I contacted him by e-mail a while back and asked if he wanted to "talk about things" and he never responded.  I know it happened because when he and I were in college (different colleges) and were home visiting, we were in the back seat of his mother's car as she was driving us somewhere, and when we passed the park where it had occured, I whispered to him, "Remember what happened there?" and he told me to be quiet and not talk about it.

Thanks for letting me get all that out, brothers.

Comment by Michael J. K. on December 16, 2014 at 8:32am

hope everyone will be having a good holiday season and that they are healing well.

Have a great few weeks

Comment by Michael J. K. on April 5, 2014 at 6:36am

HOPE-- "It is difficult to say what is impossible, for the dream of yesterday is the hope of today and the reality of tomorrow." ~~Robert H. Goddard

We all need hope, love, and understanding. My dream is more love and kindness for the world. As much as that can happen. They say love makes the world go round. I say love makes someone's day when it is recieved and also for the one giving it. Love is so much easier than hate. Let us start thinking about love more. ~~ Michael Joseph Andrew Kullik

Comment by David Johns on November 24, 2013 at 8:46pm

Yes, Phillip, welcome to the group.

Comment by Phillip T on November 24, 2013 at 3:25pm

Thanks Joe!

 

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