My strong opinion, based on my experience, is that there is no substitute for initiation: an ordeal you agree to go thru, provided by men, and when you're through it, you get recognized as a man by other men.
Mine was through ManKind Project. I'm a little unhappy with the way politics (left-right politics) is creeping into this organization, but the initiation is still a great gift, not much changed from what I went through. Christian men might want to do New Adam, or I think John Eldredge has a weekend.
After that, I was a man, although early on a wounded one. Now much less so.
...and my son, if he's up for it, will have the benefit of Scouts. We didn't have Scouts where I was, but it sounds like a great way to learn.