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The Man and the Woman

This group is dedicated to provide male and female perspectives relating to men, women, and gender--its relevancy, differences, struggles, thoughts, transitions, etc.

Members: 204
Latest Activity: Aug 27

Discussion Forum

Are WOMEN causing some of the problem? Let me know

Started by Rod Berger, PsyD The Normal Male. Last reply by Michael J. K. May 14. 4 Replies

Time for a break?

Started by Douglas Aldrich. Last reply by Michael J. K. May 8. 4 Replies

A young Lady against Feminism.

Started by Michael D. Denny Dec 18, 2011. 0 Replies

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Comment by Bruce D. Kelly on August 26, 2010 at 2:52pm
Hi Deborah. Thank you for your response, I do appreciate it. While I do respect your opinion of romance writers (and reader), I'm afraid I must disagree with it. Those are some pretty broad-brush generalities. The first questions I have to ask are, have you ever actually ever read a romance novel, and do you know any romance writers and/or readers personally? I don't have access to a room full of marriage counselors however I do have a great deal of access to romance writers. You see, I'm married to a multipublished romance writer and I'm reasonable certain that she has much more than a clue about rewarding relationships. That certainty would be based at least partly on our happy and rewarding 25 year marriage. Naturally I can't speak about all romance writers. I suspect that like any large population sample, some have absolutely no clue, some have great insight, and the majority fall somewhere in between knowing perhaps as much as the average person. I can speak about the many professional romance writers who I do know personally and I can assure you they do know quite a lot about successful and rewarding relationships.

Regarding the books themselves, there are a great many sub-genres and some, such as paranormal romance are certainly fantasy-based stories just as there are fantasy-based stories in other genres. The bottom line however is that all of them fall under the much broader umbrella of fiction. Is everyone who reads fiction silly or just the ones who specifically read romance? Perhaps you're suggesting that readers of romance confuse the fantasy with reality and have high expectations for their real relationships. Putting aside my opinion that expectations should be high, I would answer again that in a large population sample the vast majority certainly do understand they are reading fiction. I think 50 to 70 million romance readers can be considered a large enough population. What exactly is silly about enjoying a story about two people who come together in a monogamous, adult relationship, overcome obstacles, discover they are better together than they are apart, decide to try a future together and have an emotionally satisfying ending? Is that really an unreasonable fantasy?

You've listed some great qualities for a woman to want in a guy starting with him being your best friend. Speaking from experience that is a really strong base to build on. If you haven't found him already I hope you do. He sort of sounds like a romance novel hero...:-) Thank you again for taking the time to comment.
Comment by Bruce D. Kelly on August 25, 2010 at 1:03pm
I have a question for you. I'm working on a project dealing with relationships and romance. If you could sit down with a room full of romance writers and ask them anything about women, relationships, romance, What qualities they think women want in a man, etc., what would you ask? Thanks.
Comment by Sasha on March 22, 2010 at 9:01pm
Comment by Jacque Dunn on March 18, 2010 at 5:41pm
Yes I want a real man- someone who knows himself , has ideals and goals. Strength of character does not mean running over someone else. But it does mean be able to dis-agree, laugh at your self and to give and take. A gentleman is a real man, not afraid to care and serve but that is not the same as being a doormat. No one should be a doormat man or woman. Nor should we treat each other with such disrespect. If that is someone's way, I will walk another way. God loves me and says I am to be treated as His precious one. But I am called to treat my man that way also. Love you guys!!
Comment by Rod Berger, PsyD The Normal Male on February 10, 2010 at 1:04pm
As Valentines Day approaches I am wondering what you think...men treat love and relationships like a transaction and women hate it...rightfully so...but what role do women play in this sham? Men think it is about how much money and material goods they can provide and the media plays into this. Feel free to read my thoughts when responding. Thanks for your thoughts!
Comment by Peter O'Reilly on October 8, 2009 at 11:48am
You don't get crapped on for being a gentleman. You get crapped on for being a doormat. A gentleman has respect for himself and doesn't let other people mistreat him.
Comment by Plowlady on October 7, 2009 at 3:33pm
Comment by ScottinNY 1 hour ago women do not want decent men, they want bad boys. This is why some men avoid dating. We will not lower our standards to be with someone.----this is SOOOO wrong - I mean, you're partly wrong. Dont even think of being anyone other then yourself - if you act like a boy when you meet, and she accepts you that way then, she must accept you that way 50 years later. If you act like a gentleman at the beginning because you ARE one, then she will accept you that way down the road too...it's the guys who pretend to be something they aren't just to get the girl. Trust me, the GOOD women out there will see right through your game, it's the women you really don't want to marry in the long run that won't accept you as you are. My honey is a man, a boy, a good guy and a bad guy...all rolled up in one, what makes a bad man that women walk all over are the ones that are too much like us. if you show you are wishy washy, because you are...she'll take advantage of it. if you show you are strong and powerful (in other words) she will not. If you allow her to squash you at any time, you lose...that's the dead giveaway there...give her that inch and she will run to the finish line doing just that...telling YOU what to do, how and when. Make sense? Just be the man, put your foot down, don't accept her crap and you are gold, trust me on this one--like I said before, I speak for the good women out there :-)
Comment by Gregory Seeley on October 7, 2009 at 1:55pm
there are many ladies who appreciate the attention and aesthetic of dating a gentleman, but who are unwilling to become a lady to compliment him.
Comment by Scott Omega on October 7, 2009 at 1:38pm
women do not want decent men, they want bad boys. This is why some men avoid dating. We will not lower our standards to be with someone.
Comment by Plowlady on September 4, 2009 at 11:43am
Thanks for the welcomes everyone :-)
 

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Prayers and Ideas for struggling men.

I know this isn't your typical theological question, but I feel it can be helpful. I personally need some prayer. I am struggling with guidance. I seem go be having some relationship trouble. I firmly believe God put this woman in my life to be wife one day (when funds and scheduling allow), but I keep picking fights about stupid things. I would like some prayer for guidance and how I should act. Thanks guys. I hope this thread ends up being a way for all of us guys to ask for some prayers.
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