We've all had times when we just didn't know what to do. Or where to turn. The answers aren't always simple. The responsibility for our loved ones is sometimes, too great.

Where do YOU get your answers, at a time like this? Your best friend, your clergyman, your dad, your brother, and old girlfriend. Post your thoughts on how to handle this age-old dilemma in the life of every "family man".

Tags: family, man

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Replies to This Discussion

I'd really like to hear what other family men have to say. I've been finding that I'm at my wits ends more often than not lately and I know it's affecting me as a husband and a father.

Part of my problem is that I don't have anyone to turn to (cry me a river right?). I often times want to turn to my wife but sometimes she's the source of frustration and I don't want to make matters worse.

Now that I'm a member here I'll be coming to you guys instead.
d
Tyler Wainright said:
I'd really like to hear what other family men have to say. I've been finding that I'm at my wits ends more often than not lately and I know it's affecting me as a husband and a father.

Part of my problem is that I don't have anyone to turn to (cry me a river right?). I often times want to turn to my wife but sometimes she's the source of frustration and I don't want to make matters worse.

Now that I'm a member here I'll be coming to you guys instead.

Hi Tyler,
We've ALL been there, and you are correct. You can't ALWAYS turn to the wife. I hope you'll be able to come here for help, but another great resource is in the "Forums" section. There is a category named "Relationships and Family". I've gotten a lot of good advice from the guys, on a variety of issues over the last few months.
The gym I go to is like a quiet sanctum. It is a small room with a few benches, squat rack, and a few machines. It is very quiet except for the clanking and rattling of the weights. I've crafted strategies and angles there without distraction. Also I have used exercise as a manner of self-flagellation when I have felt self destructive and it was redirected into making me stronger. Many times my friends can't relate to my problems and I hate burdening my family (parents/sisters) with my problems. So thats my deal.
James said:
The gym I go to is like a quiet sanctum....

Well, I wish mine was "a quiet sanctum". It's located in this huge space, that used to be a Lowe's Hardware SuperCenter. The damn thing is more like going to a Disco, for heaven's sake!
The gym that I use is in the downstairs back room of my local recreation center. I will set the weights and on many days that I don't rerack them (I know I knw, its a sin) they are still set for my circuits when I come back! You may have some chance of finding something similar.
I seem to just stick it out. Eventually the issue blows over, or your head clears and you can think straight. The solution will come, just leave it on the back burner for a while.

I don't think this will work for everybody, but it seems to work for me. I think it had to do with the resilience of my personality.
Joseph Freeman said:
I seem to just stick it out. Eventually the issue blows over, or your head clears and you can think straight. The solution will come, just leave it on the back burner for a while.

I don't think this will work for everybody, but it seems to work for me. I think it had to do with the resilience of my personality.

I've tried that on occasion, but I don't know, before long it's staring at me again... pleading for attention!
I usually head to the cemetary and talk to my dad. I don't know if it was just the quality of the advice that he gave me when I was younger or the quantity, but I can almost hear his answers and suggestions as I look out at the lake below. Sometimes it's those 'chats' that are the only thing that I think keeps me sane at times.
Sometimes it feels good to get a bunch of stuff out first by listening to really nasty music in the car, and really belting out the lyrics; or focusing with intensity of the issue while really ramping it up on the bike, and going with it. Screaming it out in a private spot (so nobody gets screamed at - thanks, singing lessons) kinda flushes it out. Blasts it out, actually.

Then I talk with a bunch of guys and a bunch of girls I trust, and crack some jokes to keep them engaged and light. Strangers, even- The fact that people care but strangers don't give a damn kinda works, sometimes. Y'know? Anyway, helps get really clear on where I'm at, and what I can do about it.

Helps to get a friend to call a week later, to make sure it gets done; or even to come over and help fix whatever thing.

Flushing and support have been good to me : )
... Then celebrating lol
Todd, Thanks for sharing. Your reflections on your dad honor him; and underscore the place he continues to occupy in your life, today.

Todd Sherwood said:
I usually head to the cemetary and talk to my dad. I don't know if it was just the quality of the advice that he gave me when I was younger or the quantity, but I can almost hear his answers and suggestions as I look out at the lake below. Sometimes it's those 'chats' that are the only thing that I think keeps me sane at times.
Le dauphin, I commend you. Your coping methods are a bit out of the ordinary; but hey, if it works for you... se la vie.

.
Le dauphin said:
Sometimes it feels good to get a bunch of stuff out first by listening to really nasty music in the car, and really belting out the lyrics; or focusing with intensity of the issue while really ramping it up on the bike, and going with it. Screaming it out in a private spot (so nobody gets screamed at - thanks, singing lessons) kinda flushes it out. Blasts it out, actually.

Then I talk with a bunch of guys and a bunch of girls I trust, and crack some jokes to keep them engaged and light. Strangers, even- The fact that people care but strangers don't give a damn kinda works, sometimes. Y'know? Anyway, helps get really clear on where I'm at, and what I can do about it.

Helps to get a friend to call a week later, to make sure it gets done; or even to come over and help fix whatever thing.

Flushing and support have been good to me : )
... Then celebrating lol

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