Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Tyler Wainright on April 13, 2009 at 1:49pm

I'd really like to hear what other family men have to say. I've been finding that I'm at my wits ends more often than not lately and I know it's affecting me as a husband and a father.

Part of my problem is that I don't have anyone to turn to (cry me a river right?). I often times want to turn to my wife but sometimes she's the source of frustration and I don't want to make matters worse.

Now that I'm a member here I'll be coming to you guys instead.

Permalink Reply by Clint Connolly on January 6, 2011 at 7:33pm

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Permalink Reply by thehuhman on April 13, 2009 at 2:49pm

Tyler Wainright said:

I'd really like to hear what other family men have to say. I've been finding that I'm at my wits ends more often than not lately and I know it's affecting me as a husband and a father.

Part of my problem is that I don't have anyone to turn to (cry me a river right?). I often times want to turn to my wife but sometimes she's the source of frustration and I don't want to make matters worse.

Now that I'm a member here I'll be coming to you guys instead.

Hi Tyler,
We've ALL been there, and you are correct. You can't ALWAYS turn to the wife. I hope you'll be able to come here for help, but another great resource is in the "Forums" section. There is a category named "Relationships and Family". I've gotten a lot of good advice from the guys, on a variety of issues over the last few months.

Permalink Reply by James! on May 1, 2009 at 9:42am

The gym I go to is like a quiet sanctum. It is a small room with a few benches, squat rack, and a few machines. It is very quiet except for the clanking and rattling of the weights. I've crafted strategies and angles there without distraction. Also I have used exercise as a manner of self-flagellation when I have felt self destructive and it was redirected into making me stronger. Many times my friends can't relate to my problems and I hate burdening my family (parents/sisters) with my problems. So thats my deal.

Permalink Reply by thehuhman on May 1, 2009 at 9:46am

James said:

The gym I go to is like a quiet sanctum....

Well, I wish mine was "a quiet sanctum". It's located in this huge space, that used to be a Lowe's Hardware SuperCenter. The damn thing is more like going to a Disco, for heaven's sake!

Permalink Reply by James! on May 1, 2009 at 9:57am

The gym that I use is in the downstairs back room of my local recreation center. I will set the weights and on many days that I don't rerack them (I know I knw, its a sin) they are still set for my circuits when I come back! You may have some chance of finding something similar.

Permalink Reply by Joseph Freeman on May 7, 2009 at 7:13pm

I seem to just stick it out. Eventually the issue blows over, or your head clears and you can think straight. The solution will come, just leave it on the back burner for a while.

I don't think this will work for everybody, but it seems to work for me. I think it had to do with the resilience of my personality.

Permalink Reply by thehuhman on May 7, 2009 at 7:57pm

Joseph Freeman said:

I seem to just stick it out. Eventually the issue blows over, or your head clears and you can think straight. The solution will come, just leave it on the back burner for a while.

I don't think this will work for everybody, but it seems to work for me. I think it had to do with the resilience of my personality.

I've tried that on occasion, but I don't know, before long it's staring at me again... pleading for attention!

Permalink Reply by Todd Sherwood on May 17, 2009 at 12:36am

I usually head to the cemetary and talk to my dad. I don't know if it was just the quality of the advice that he gave me when I was younger or the quantity, but I can almost hear his answers and suggestions as I look out at the lake below. Sometimes it's those 'chats' that are the only thing that I think keeps me sane at times.

Permalink Reply by Le dauphin on May 17, 2009 at 5:49am

Sometimes it feels good to get a bunch of stuff out first by listening to really nasty music in the car, and really belting out the lyrics; or focusing with intensity of the issue while really ramping it up on the bike, and going with it. Screaming it out in a private spot (so nobody gets screamed at - thanks, singing lessons) kinda flushes it out. Blasts it out, actually.

Then I talk with a bunch of guys and a bunch of girls I trust, and crack some jokes to keep them engaged and light. Strangers, even- The fact that people care but strangers don't give a damn kinda works, sometimes. Y'know? Anyway, helps get really clear on where I'm at, and what I can do about it.

Helps to get a friend to call a week later, to make sure it gets done; or even to come over and help fix whatever thing.

Flushing and support have been good to me : )
... Then celebrating lol

Permalink Reply by thehuhman on May 17, 2009 at 8:55am

Todd, Thanks for sharing. Your reflections on your dad honor him; and underscore the place he continues to occupy in your life, today.

Todd Sherwood said:

I usually head to the cemetary and talk to my dad. I don't know if it was just the quality of the advice that he gave me when I was younger or the quantity, but I can almost hear his answers and suggestions as I look out at the lake below. Sometimes it's those 'chats' that are the only thing that I think keeps me sane at times.

Permalink Reply by thehuhman on May 17, 2009 at 9:01am

Le dauphin, I commend you. Your coping methods are a bit out of the ordinary; but hey, if it works for you... se la vie.

.
Le dauphin said:

Sometimes it feels good to get a bunch of stuff out first by listening to really nasty music in the car, and really belting out the lyrics; or focusing with intensity of the issue while really ramping it up on the bike, and going with it. Screaming it out in a private spot (so nobody gets screamed at - thanks, singing lessons) kinda flushes it out. Blasts it out, actually.

Then I talk with a bunch of guys and a bunch of girls I trust, and crack some jokes to keep them engaged and light. Strangers, even- The fact that people care but strangers don't give a damn kinda works, sometimes. Y'know? Anyway, helps get really clear on where I'm at, and what I can do about it.

Helps to get a friend to call a week later, to make sure it gets done; or even to come over and help fix whatever thing.

Flushing and support have been good to me : )
... Then celebrating lol

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