I've taken a multitude of falls in my life. Off the swing, from the bike, out of airplanes and from Grace, as it were, have all been added to the resume. However, after 13 years of being a begetter, I think I may have become a father.

I am a selfish creature, to be sure, and I may very well die a self servant. If I want to go drinking with he boys after work, I have always done so. If I want to create an excuse to not go home and be "burdened" with familial responsibilities, I have done so.

But lately, I can't wait to get home. I can't wait to see my boys. I cant wait to interact with them and talk with them and be around them. Sadly, I also have a 13 year old who never got that same reaction. Possibly because I divorced his bipolar mother when he was 2. My twins are now 2 and I wish my oldest had lived with me all the time. But Texas does not think fathers that divorce mothers should rear children, so I missed out on all that. Because of that, I have always had a disconnect so to speak regarding my oldest boy.

But now, I have taken this greatest fall of all and it has rekindled my connection with my oldest son. I have been only a father in name for the most part in the past, but I hope I can be effectual from here on out for all of them because I am so proud, if even so unqualified to be their dad.