I am looking for specific comments from anyone who is familiar with the concept and, specifically, from those who have tried it themselves.
I have been lately attempting to figure out exactly what it looks like. Any advice anyone can give me?
I looked and didn't find the past discussions, though I know they've happened.
Josh Harris' "Boy Meets Girl" is kind of a memoir of courtship. You also might be able to dig up the 60 Minutes segment from the late '90s.
I don't know if I tried courting. The lead-up to my marriage involved my parents more than the lead-up to Harris' marriage involved his in-laws, but it still was far from the paradigm in "I Kissed Dating Good-bye." I never dated/courted a man who was familiar with Harris' ideas, except my husband knows something about them from what I told him.
There are variations on the courtship model. basically the parents especially the fathers of the young people who are interested in one another become acquainted with under the direction of their parents. this is in contrast to modern dating which is often nothing more than a young man doing what ever he deems necessary to seduce a young lady into compromising her purity if she has any to speak of. A good treatise on this topic is entitled: Her Hand in Marriage by Douglas Wilson. It is available as a kindle e book and possibly other formats. There is probably more advice on this at visionforum.com. I hope that this has been helpful. My oldest daughter is only 12 so we are a long ways off. I have spoken with her about this though. Also i recently purchased an e-book entitled 88 Great Daddy Daughter Dates I have not had time to read it yet but I believe that it was about $3. We dads must slow down and be intentional about spending time with our daughters.
I guess you could call what my wife and I did courtship, though it was sort of modified. We started talking via email, then phone, after she sent my family a Christmas card. We'd known each other since 2nd grade so the card wasn't surprising. What was surprising was how much we had to talk about after not seeing each other for about 15 months (we weren't together during that time). But after I talked to her a few times and thought that something might be starting there, I called her dad and asked his permission to get to know her better, saying that I saw the possibility of a relationship forming. He gave his blessing (he's a man of few words) and we kept talking. She was at school in TX, I was working in north AL so our time together was phone and email, strictly. When I wanted to go to her school to take her to the Valentine banquet, I called her dad again, saying I wanted to officially enter a relationship with her, with the intention of getting married, if things led that direciton. Again, he said yes. I called her and officially asked her to be my girlfriend, and she accepted. A few days later I surprised her at the banquet, in a tux of course. To make a long story short(er) her parents were informed of my intentions before she was, and they even got to see the ring before we were offically engaged. We were hardly ever unchaparoned throughout our brief (2 month) engagement, but that wasn't a big deal, as she had gone home to IL to prepare for the wedding, with me in AL to prepare for our life down there. We were together a grand total of 5 days between our engagement and our wedding. Not optimum to be sure, but it wasn't so bad as we were engaged in March and married in May.
In all it was a good experience. But I will warn any guy who goes down that path. Getting her parents involved in it is well and good, and seeking advice from your parents is well and good, but DON'T LET YOUR MOTHER GET INVOLVED TOO HEAVILY!! It will cause problems, period. I love my mom to death, but if you're mature enough to enter into a relationship that's headed for the alter, you should be mature enough to call the shots, make your own decisions, and stick up for your future wife, even if that means severing ties with current family.
There are different degrees of courtship. In extreme cases, the parents choose the mate for their son. They talk to the girl's parents, and the kids get very little say in the matter. Another way that has been touted follows this pattern:
1. Guy notices/is atracted to the lady
2. Guy tells his parents about it, and they all sort of watch her, and get to know her socially
3. Guy's parents (GP) talk to the lady's parents (LP) about the attraction
4. LP talk to lady about it
5. LP talk to the guy
6. IF all has gone well up to this point, the guy and the lady enter into a "betrothal," or are basically promised to each other.
7. After a period of time, if all is still going well, they are engaged.
8. They get married.
Lots of problems with that pattern, and I don't think it takes a rocket scientist to see them. It's nice if it were a perfect world, but the world ain't perfect.