I was curious on your guys thoughts about certain things when thinking about dating women. What about chrsitian women who do certain bad things like smoke weed and get drunk. Now i know that no one is perfect, but should a christian man who wants to try to date a women who's kinda of a bad girl, date her based on the principles of the bible. Like I know iron sharpens iron, but still i just don't know an exact answer. Also, what you you guys think about dating a woman who has already had sex with another guy and the man, who wishes to date her, is trying to wait until marriage? Should he not try to date her or should he?
In my experience, if he's looking for a "good Catholic girl" he's going to have trouble finding one who's also assertive. Not explicitly, but implicitly, "good Catholic girls" are often raised to think that being assertive is contrary to being a "good Catholic" and a "girl." To the point that the crazy idea that a liberal arts education was unfitting of "good Catholic girls" because it made them too independent of thinkers to be good wives. I have heard this from more than one person affiliated with my "Third most Catholic Catholic College."
Sooner or later it comes down to fate.
I've noticed. :\ Don't get me wrong... I believe in the spiritual headship of the husband, and so I do see the value in a woman who is able to be deferential on the rare occasion when that's relevant, but it's rather difficult to have a relationship with someone who nods and smiles no matter what you say. I like having to make my case to someone, and getting push-back when I'm wrong... and it's impossible to trust feedback from someone who won't openly disagree with you.
I couldn't see how these husbands with liberal arts degrees were supposed to get by without a life partner in the intellectual life. I mean, sure, maybe they have buddies for that, but that's not the same as living with a well-educated interlocutor.
Yeah. It might be that I have the obnoxious habit of turning everything into an intellectual debate, but I can't imagine being married to someone who didn't participate in them with me. Really, having someone to share that exploration of ideas with is, to me, one of the most appealing parts of getting married.
I think you misunderstand headship and submission. Nowhere does it say she's supposed to nod and smile at whatever you say.
Submission is not silent servitude. She's supposed to pushback on you in private. She's supposed to hold you accountable. She's supposed to voice disagreement ... again, in private. She's supposed to be a trusted confidant.
Headship is not dictatorship. She gets a vote within the marriage -- but, once a decision is made, you go forward united. Headship is sacrifical, not dictatorial -- as Christ treats His church. Headship means the responsibility for the outcome is yours -- success is ours, failure is his. Headship is a matter of responsibility. The buck stops with you.
Well put and concise.
I think you misunderstand me. I realize that. The problem was that she did way too much nodding and smiling.
Logan, I was 25 when I married and my wife was a virgin as well. Don't give up brother. We met at church. My brother's wife was a virgin too and he met her at church. Sometimes I think it is where you are looking. I am soooo glad I waited. Neither of us have any baggage. I have also been able to tell my daughters that me and their mother waited and, with God's help. they can too.
Thanks man I appreciate it.
If you're waiting around for a sinless woman, you're in for a long, lonely life. Every girl you meet comes with a past. Some pasts are better than others.
Don't date a rescue ... but don't hold out for perfection, either. Ultimately, find a girl that genuinely shares your principles, even if she hasn't always lived up to them. Odds are you haven't either.