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Comment by Harry Dresden, Wizard on November 1, 2011 at 8:22am

Just joined because I am the man that opens doors, holds umbrella's, goes out in the rain with the dogs so my fiance doesn't have to, etc. I believe in treating women with more than respect, with Chivalry.

Comment by Karl Helweg on August 29, 2011 at 6:40pm

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/1416262/Court-refuses-trial-...

 

Trial by combat request denied. 

Comment by Luke Nierenhausen on August 26, 2011 at 8:19am

Well thank you Rhubarb. Interesting find though everyone. A highschool friend who is a girl, was talking with me the other day about a new man she is thinking about dating. She told me what a Gentleman he was and so on and that she had never experienced dating a gentleman before, but that she loved being treated like a lady.

Comment by Rhubarb on August 26, 2011 at 7:58am

Luke, the women that you're dating, or not, certainly appreciate it I'm sure!

Comment by Luke Nierenhausen on August 23, 2011 at 7:20pm

I think we would all agree that a big part of chivalry is learning and being able to defend ourselves and any lady we might be courting. being 21 i am pretty much in the dating seat these days and really enjoy seeing different girls reactions to gentlemanly conduct.

Comment by Rhubarb on August 8, 2011 at 10:49pm

Congratulations Joe!!

I don't know about your predicament other than maybe to say 'Ms.'?

 

I've lived in the South for four years, and while I'm youngish, it's taken a while to get used to it. :)

Comment by Joe Sherry on August 8, 2011 at 8:13pm

I've recently become engaged and want to be a modern man committed to chivalry; it's a great way to show respect. However I have a conundrum! I have a tendency to call all adult women ma'am out of politeness(and men, sir, by the same card) and although I've never offended a man, I have offended some women. I still can't bring myself to break the habit. Advice?

 

Comment by Abraham Z. Castillo on July 9, 2011 at 8:05pm

Hey hey everyone, I joined this group, because I am a practitioner of opening the door for women, for saying "Excuse me", "Thank you", "Please", and the like, for speaking in a manly manner and not toss slanderous slang at everyone that walks by me. I'd be honored if you guys accepted me into your midst.

Comment by Johnzerd1 on May 12, 2011 at 1:01pm

Wilders, Mujaheddin and Marines

Lemme tell you a secret. The only difference between these three groups rests on one word: Chivalry.

"Men are pigs" or so Tim Allen tells us. I agree. At bottom, all men are animals. So are women. We are hard-wired for certain reactions and that hard-wiring can be shown both empirically in human society and in terms of (dare I say it?) evolution. Lets take a look at the biological aspect first.

Whether you believe in evolution or not, note that chimpanzees and humans have some 96 % commonality in DNA. So, presumably, similarities in their actions and ours can tell us what is "natural" in us.

Now that people are actually studying chimpanzees without Margaret Meade-like blinders on, they are discovering all sorts of interesting "customs." Chimpanzee males hunt and kill "lesser" monkeys for both food and sport. Chimpanzee males are the primary defense against predators. And chimpanzee males participate in a process that has been termed "the concubine ritual."

Male chimpanzees on the hunt that come upon unaccompanied females gesture for them to follow back to the pack's center. If the female refuses, the male beats her up. This process continues until she returns to camp.

Welcome to the basis of spousal abuse. Study after study show that men are pre-conditioned to brutalize women. It stimulates the limbic system, it is sexually arousing and it's probably healthy for us. No wonder such conditions can be found in any society that is in the process of breakdown or in which the society has automatic denigration of females. From South African blacks that use ointments to simulate rape to the Taliban whipping women for wearing shoes that click to wilders stripping women in Central Park, the core is the commonality of brutalization of women. Between the chimps and the commonality, what it tells us is that brutalization of women is the natural condition of human existence.

The only thing that "decodes" that hard-wiring is socialization. Socialization is all about taming the barbarian, yes, "the animal," within. Socialization is about teaching that "might" does not automatically make "right" and making girls cry, whether by dipping their pig-tails in the ink-well or hitting them in the face, may be "fun" but "it's not the right thing to do."

Furthermore, it has to be the "right kind" of socialization. In virtually every major society in the world, save one, a woman's security depends upon the willingness of her male relatives to defend her. Women are beaten on the street in virtually every Islamic country. In Sub-Saharan Africa, women are considered chattel. In China, female babies are aborted or drowned in ponds to make way for boys. Indeed, the humorous aspect of listening to women (and it seems to be led by women) denigrate "Western Civilization" is that it is only in cultures that derive from the West (or pre-Islamic Persian) in which such women would be permitted to speak at all. In every other society they would be whipped off the stage, raped or stoned to death.

The factor in Western Civilization that prevents men from denigrating women is "chivalry." Chivalry, in reference to women, evolved from "courtliness", or the social process, initially found only among the upper class, of wooing a prospective bride (or a casual lay.) Courtliness, in turn, evolved from the reintroduction of the Cult of Mary, creating a female role model that said, in effect, "women have value."

Over time, chivalry came to mean that women were "better", in selected (and realistic) ways, then men. Women were prettier, cleaner, nicer and sweeter than men. Anyone who has ever dealt with a poorly socialized teenage female may have doubts about this reality, but the social custom had two effects. One was to reduce the brutalization of females through the basic "you can't hit girls" training. The other was to raise the self-esteem (and apparently cleanliness and "sweetness") of females .

In societies that practice chivalric customs, females have self-worth. In virtually all other societies, their only worth is as brood mares. And it was chivalry, and only chivalry, that, for centuries, prevented the sort of horrors that occurred in Central Park during the "wildings" and that are the day to day lot of women in countries from the Orange to the Oxus.

Compare Cary Grant to Eminem. What's the difference? They're both white males. They were or are both "role models" to their culture. They're both considered male sex symbols. One word: Chivalry. (Okay, two, chivalry and a modicum of brains in Grant's case.)

Again, what's funny is that feminists really hate that word too. To them being "put on a pedestal" is the equivalent of being bound and chained in a dungeon. When in fact it's exactly the opposite. Being bound and chained and put in a dungeon is what happens when you eliminate chivalry.

And chivalry and bravery are brothers in arms. It is possible to be brave and evil, this is a an excellent description of the mujaheddin. But it is nearly impossible to be cowardly and chivalric. The control mechanisms are practically identical. Both require a belief that it is worth sacrificing immediate gain (sex, survival) for some longer-term or higher good.

We're beginning to rediscover the virtue of bravery. As we look at the brutalization of the women of Afghanistan, and look at the breakdowns in our own society, it is high time to rediscover the worth of chivalry.

Because it's a fine line between warrior and barbarian.

Comment by Rhubarb on January 17, 2011 at 12:59pm

Wow, that's a great story, and nice he got a cosmic reward for it! :)

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