its my attempts to be a better person that brought me to this website, I have been skimping on some of the tasks (there will be no physical for me as I lack health insurance and had one last year on the NHS), but I wanted to give this one ago. It has brought me face to face with allot of the choices I have made in my life, some of which are not the most honorable.
I would hear the words adventurous, passionate and creative spoken, but I fear they would mean things entirely different. Passionate would be a substitute for stubborn and used to describe the tendency of my youth to put my (naive and unrealistic) beliefs before the needs of my self and those around me.
Creative, would be used by my family who do not understand my job or what exactly it entails. It will also probably be used to describe my being less then strict with the truth about many events in my life to my family. It may be used by some to describe the things that normal people find totally easy that I have always struggled with, things like applying for jobs, attending school, filing tax returns and anything that involves the government, paperwork or academia. My friends would apply it to my spelling.
Adventurous, would be used aptly to describe moving to London a week after finishing High School, or moving out of my parents house before I was 18. It would also be used to describe my refusal to go to collage, despite being accepted, and my choice to try my hand at one of the hardest careers to achieve with no safety net.
I didn't finish my Eulogy, I re-wrote my will instead. I now want a full and traditional Catholic mass (despite not having attend church since my school days, and being an atheist) I think the ritual helped me deal with my Grandmothers passing, and that it would help people deal with mine. My will also stipulates that all men over the age of 14 must wear suits and ties, and still as every incarnation of it has forbids a close relation from attending my funeral.
In conclusion, I'm not nearly as prepared to die as I hoped I would be and I have allot more to do to be a better person.
"Loving husband and father, good friend and counselor, and one who was willing to put the needs of others above his own. He may have held those around him to high standards, but he held himself to higher still, and was passionate in his beliefs, sometimes to a fault. You never had to ask where he'd come down on an issue...because you already knew. He was THAT kind of Man. The kind that stood for his beliefs, unflinchingly."
I don't want a eulogy. I've always been uncomfortable with being the center of attention (unless it's really for something I've earned, like an award), so things like birthday parties (G-d forbid they should be surprise parties) and eulogies make me really uncomfortable. Don't get me wrong, I want to be valued by others and missed, but I don't want anyone to have to praise me publicly. It shouldn't be necessary--people should already be aware of who I was and what I did.
But I will write my own obituary. I'll post it later.
I actually enjoyed this exercise; it reminded me that there are certain facets of my life that I need to explore and develop. It also reminded me that my wife is hands-down the most important person in my life.
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