30 Days to a better man 2012

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30 Days to a better man 2012

This is not an attempt to steal Brett McKay's thunder, I just happened to be a latecomer to this website. The enormous success of this group in 2009 led me to feel that we should do it every year. This will be for the rest of 2011, as well as the duration of 2012.

Members: 17
Latest Activity: Jun 28, 2013

Day 1: Define Your Core Values

My 5 C's:

1.) Character - How you hold yourself with your morals and values. Character in my opinion covers a variety of different values, but honestly, I have never met a man (let alone anybody) that had crappy character and was still a model citizen. Being industrious yet humble, being respectful and generous yet showing your assertiveness when needed, those truly separate the men from the boys.

2.) Confidence - This is honestly something I personally have been struggling with lately. But the fact of the matter is that if I don't have confidence in my own abilities, I won't be in the right mindset to get anything that I want done. People depend on men to come out on top in challenging environments, and if everyone's faith is in your hands but your own, it's going to be that much more challenging.

3.) Control - This again covers a variety of spectra. (OK, I'll admit it, picking just 5 values was extremely difficult. I molded together a lot.)

But here is my reasoning: There are different types of control; for instance, controlling everything that goes on in your life (in a sense, balance). Having gone to the maritime academy for a year and a half now, I have absolutely experienced balancing, in the sense of schoolwork, extracurricular activities, work, and the regiment, not to mention family, friends, and a girlfriend going to school 650 miles away. 

Controlling your own emotions is an incredibly powerful, and incredibly tough, thing to master. I'm talking discipline, tact, and toleration. This isn't to say let people walk all over you; believe me, I have been that way for a while, and frankly, I'm sick and tired of it. But being able to hold yourself to a higher standard by presenting yourself as a gentleman and handling situations maturely will lead you down avenues you never dreamed possible.

Also, as much as they probably don't want to admit it, everyone in the family looks up to the man. So I also define control as being able to control  that of your family's emotions in addition to your own. Being 'the rock' of your family is probably one of the most important things a man can be; yeah, it's hard sometimes, but if you show signs of weakness, how will everyone else be able to control themselves? This isn't being used in the sense that you should control your family's every move; but being able to simply control your emotions will consequently help them control theirs.

4.) Community - This again is another molded word. And by community, I am referring to 3 particular subjects: Family, faith, and friends. You can't get anywhere in life without any of them, and they are the ones that you help you in any situation, no matter what it is.

5.) Courtesy - OK, last one... When I think of courtesy, I think of two separate ideas: respect, and humility. Respect is very big with me personally; I don't care who you are, if you give me respect, I'll always return it back. And in terms of humility, being able to combine being humble of your work (taking pride but not showboating) as well as realizing that yes, you are only human, when things go wrong, help go a long way in having people look at you as a true role model.

 

Sorry for the length of my thoughts, but I spent a LOT of time thinking about this. I'm pretty proud of the list, and I plan on passing this list on to my kids when that time comes. If it weren't for that fact, I wouldn't have molded so many together and been so creative with the names. Tell me what you think!

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Comment by Rick Shelton on May 14, 2012 at 12:45pm

The article on Manvotationals, excellent.  I'm starting part one: finding what type of man I wish to be.

 

Comment by John Mertz on January 5, 2012 at 11:55pm

Respect – The ability to perceive the commonality, harmony and interdependence of all people and things; to accept and treat every man fairly regardless of perception or experience; to show the utmost care and respect with all women but to only love one; to choose peace in lieu of confrontation; and to value the freedom of each person and thing to make their own life as I would have myself.
Humility – To be satisfied by my own recognition; not to seek attention whether due or desired; to act modestly when recognition must be accepted, and to forward any credit to those who’ve come before; and to own up to any fault I may make.
Understanding – To actively seek out facts and not become invested in the face value of anything; to be open to new ideas and conflicting opinions and put them in the same respect as my own; to put silence before ignorance.
Ingenuity/Integrity – To do things on my own when it is reasonable to do so; to always do the best I possibly can with what I am given; and to actively seek out better and more satisfying ways to work, play and live.
Passion – To actively pursue and make priority that which means the most to me; to follow the instincts of my heart and make true the images of my mind with the utmost intensity and fervor.

 

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Latest Activity

Nathanael replied to John Bravo's discussion I held out sex for love first....Why is it so hard to find a girl who's done the same?
""Who said anything about sins and repenting?" I did, because it seems to be a concept outside of your own psychological oddities.  You can correct me if I'm wrong, but I have the impression that what you're objecting to…"
7 minutes ago
John Bravo replied to John Bravo's discussion I held out sex for love first....Why is it so hard to find a girl who's done the same?
"Bob... "So yes you will have trouble finding a girl with those values in the world we live in . so you change your values or you have trouble , that's your choices." Who is one as a man who adjusts his values simply to not be…"
8 minutes ago
John Bravo replied to John Bravo's discussion I held out sex for love first....Why is it so hard to find a girl who's done the same?
""Value judgments" ? Liam, how do we not base judgment of others based on their actions? Be they positive or negative, good or bad??"
12 minutes ago
John Bravo replied to John Bravo's discussion I held out sex for love first....Why is it so hard to find a girl who's done the same?
""A self-righteous prig like you doesn't deserve a woman who has honestly sinned and repented. " Who said anything about sins and repenting? The fact that you quickly resort to name-calling like this in a *discussion*…"
22 minutes ago
Nathanael replied to John Bravo's discussion I held out sex for love first....Why is it so hard to find a girl who's done the same?
"I generally agree. OP, from what you wrote, it seems like you have an objection to any woman who has "had sex outside of a loving relationship," regardless of whether this is something from years ago that she now regrets or something she…"
26 minutes ago
Stuart Charles replied to Stuart Charles's discussion Moneys... and what to do with em
"i plan on retiring very young :) Yeh, the 10k is more to cover for unemployment. I have a mortgage as well, so i want to be able to cover those repayments too. thanks :)"
37 minutes ago
Bob Brower replied to Andreias's discussion proactively dealing with anger
"I did not find it funny. The OP should find another website to find HE/SHE/IT'S help  OP PLEASE BLOCK ME IF YOU WANT I WOULD SEE IT AS AN HONOR !"
52 minutes ago
Penelope replied to Stuart Charles's discussion Moneys... and what to do with em
"With interest rates so low, consider putting a good chunk of that $10k into very safe securities, usually government bonds.  Also, consider whether you need a whole 6-month emergency fund as an Australian.  The…"
1 hour ago

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