Last summer at the age of 18, I was in a relationship, that I took seriously, with a 21 year old girl. The relationship ended up being a summer fling. The thing that would deeply offend me was when she would call me a "baby" solely because of my age and when I protested that, an argument began. One time she stated, "You're not a man". In defense, I listed the things that make me a man:

Good work ethic

Manners

Pay Bills

Respecting

Considerate

Stand up for my beliefs

Presentable

Pursuing an Education

Self Reliant

(Not to brag or be arrogant)

The argument ended the relationship. I felt belittled.

But was I wrong in saying that? Is age a bigger factor in being a man than I think? Do the things listed qualify me as a man? 

Views: 2072

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

Age has next to nothing to do with being a man. It does however have great bearing on the amount of life experience one accumulates.  At 18 you are still a very young man with lots to learn, which in all manliness you should humbly accept, and it seems you have just come through a learning experience.

   If you can walk the walk and do all that you said, you certainly qualify for the title.  Just look at the great quantity of infantile 20-35 year old man-children we have mooching off their parents and whining? Age is no garauntee of wisdom.

Thats exactly how I feel. Being raised mostly by my grandparents has taught me so much, and working in an assisted living nursing home has also been a learning experience.

I suppose at the time, I cared about what she thought because I wanted to have a successful relationship with her, but now, thanks to alot of you gents, I have more confidence in my manhood.

A man is someone who is responsible, mature, has noting to prove to anyone. He takes ownership of his own mistakes. He stands by his principles and doesn't bend to peer pressure, but he keeps an open mind and is not afraid to listen to those who have different points of view than himself. 

His heart is not guarded, but neither is he needy, or quick to complain. 

Well heck, I could go on, but you get the point. A man creates himself by the decisions he makes through his life. If it sounds like it's a life long process, you're right. Going out in the wild and killing a lion with your bare hands is impressive as heck, but doesn't say anything about their honesty, compassion, leadership, and so on. 

I can sympathize with the sting you felt when that girl said you weren't a man, but I'm sure you've heard the expression, 'pearls before a swine'. If you expect, or care, how others rate you as a man you'll be in perpetual frustration. 

You're spot on about the problems with her father. Good advice!

I think you nailed it, Rick. 

You're way ahead of the curve for 18. The problem seems to have been her perception, not yours or your actions.

There are men out there providing for families, being relied upon by others and doing some of the other things you mentioned, such as being self reliant and respectful, who are even younger than you.

No, not at all. You were standing up for yourself.

From my vantage point you both are terribly young, but that still does not excuse what she was trying to do; belittle you.

Hope you find someone who doesn't pull that crap.

Thats what I thought it was at first, and would be over after a couple of weekends, but after 2 months, I thought I might be perceived as something more than jailbait!

Shane, you're comments are quite refreshing too! 

And I intend to do just that...

Sounds like the one thing you were missing that would've changed everything was confidence.

RSS

Latest Activity

Pale Horse added a discussion to the group The Great Debate
Thumbnail

Our Current Western Zeitgeist

I wanted originally to bring it to one issue but I guess we could talk about anything really that has changed in the the public's general mindset.I wanted to talk about LGBT issues. I reckon it started in earnest in the 1960s. Then it started getting noticeably more open about twenty years later. However, even in the 1980s it was common for homosexuals to be shunned or even beaten, by citizens and not by a law. Now there are laws in some places against simply stating your opinion on it. In…See More
12 minutes ago
Pale Horse replied to Liam Strain's discussion June 27, 2017 - Chat not functioning
"Well... you're not wrong."
21 minutes ago
Braeden 2.0 replied to Braeden 2.0's discussion Thoughts on this Dune Quote? in the group The Great Debate
"Yeah, I think its a mix of both."
22 minutes ago
Pale Horse replied to Braeden 2.0's discussion Thoughts on this Dune Quote? in the group The Great Debate
"It's definitely true, but it's also true that power can corrupt people."
24 minutes ago
Braeden 2.0 added a discussion to the group The Great Debate
Thumbnail

Thoughts on this Dune Quote?

What do you guys think about the idea being described by Frank Herbert in one of the later Dune novels?"All governments suffer a recurring problem: Power attracts pathological personalities. It is not that power corrupts but that it is magnetic to the corruptible. Such people have a tendency to become drunk on violence, a condition to which they are quickly addicted."See More
44 minutes ago
Vendetta replied to Liam Strain's discussion June 27, 2017 - Chat not functioning
"This should have just been added into "The Horror of Day to Day Life" thread. "
2 hours ago
Liam Strain posted a discussion

June 27 - Chat not functioning

Currently the chat, and active member list do not appear to be functioning on any browser, for any users. I have notified Brett, and did not see anything on Ning's site regarding an issue, so I don't know what to expect regarding a resolution, but wanted to push out a general notice. Hopefully they'll get things running again soon. I'll post updates here, if I learn of any. See More
3 hours ago
Liam Strain commented on David R.'s status
"Chat is currently not functioning. I have notified Brett. Sorry for the inconvenience."
3 hours ago

© 2017   Created by Brett McKay.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service