I am a 26 year old man and I've been with my 32 year old girlfriend for 3 great years. She is incredibly beautiful, loving, sexual, my family loves her, and we are in the same place in life (we agree on when to start a family, etc). I've recently been thinking about proposing but I'm beginning to hesitate because of our 6 year age gap. I can't help but think that I'm doing something out of the norm...
Is a 6 year gap not a big deal? I think I'm just getting cold feet and getting anxious over something incredibly negligible...
Would anyone else in your life have a problem?
Does anyone you know have a problem or making it hard for you?
Do you love her? Do you want to spend your life/have kids with her? Then marry her, it really is that simple
That gap will get progressively smaller over time (e.g. the maturity difference between an 18 yr old, and 24 yr old, is greater than a 40 vs 46 yr old). Way not enough to be seriously concerned about IMO.
Exactly. And it's less about age and more about life stages. It sounds like they're in more or less the same life stage so the age itself doesn't really matter.
a) At your respective current ages, 6 years is barely a gap.
b) If everything else is perfect, why would the gap suddenly be a problem?
c) "I can't help but think that I'm doing something out of the norm..." 1. Who cares? 2. It's not out of the norm. 3. Even if it was, if it works for you two then it shouldn't matter beyond that.
"I think I'm just getting cold feet and getting anxious over something incredibly negligible..."
*insert famous Beyoncé song quote*
If you like it you shoulda put a ring on it.
I got you.
Put my love on top...
Well, I married a woman who is 7 years older than me, and we are now going on 10 years.
Like Liam said, the age gap gets smaller with time. More important to consider is your respective maturity levels. Are you as mature as she is, or more? Personally I think marriage works better if they are at the same maturity level, or if the husband is slightly more mature.
The other thing to keep in mind is her fertility. I know it's a little crass to make that an issue, but the fact is that it will get harder for her to get pregnant. I know: our first two (at age 34 and 35 for her) came easily, but it was hard to get pregnant with the 3rd (born when she was 38 or 39) and it doesn't appear that there will be a 4th. So if you two want kids, especially more than one or two, you should start as soon as possible.
I'd rather have to adopt with the woman I love than let her go in the hopes of finding someone I love as much who might be more fertile.
Absolutely. Bird in the hand and all that. Just don't wait long on trying for the kids.
Adoption is very, very expensive. We looked into it, and Bethany (one of the bigger agencies, and also one of the more expensive ones) said it'd probably be about $25K, and that the cost was going up about $1K a year. And that was three years ago. I wish there was a way to make it cheaper, but that's probably not going to happen.
Public adoptions are entirely free in Canada . . . as long as you pass all the background checks, interviews, scrutiny (etc.), which are also all free.