Hello all, 

I'm a guy 20 years old. I feel like I've ran down the mill. I live with my dad but with him we don't get along that well at times. So I'm really at a pinch where I feel lost without purpose. 

It would be nice to have someone to push me, I live in the Netherlands here there's no mentor programs or something that I know off. I tried to find some salvation in the church and became a christian, but I'm still lost... I don't feel like I used my time/life well. I want to be like Maximus from Gladiator. Or like Hannibal who conquered the romans. Or any other male type. Even Mufasa from the lion king is a character I respect. 

I'm at a loss of words now, as I struggle with depression, shop addiction and pornography addiction. I get psychological help, but it's not enough to ease the pain. 

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I cannot join the military or the police - but I cant get past that - What should I do?

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