I met a girl a few months ago. She came to a new years party I was throwing at my house, and then we hung out with friends a few times after that. I started to like her and I thought she kind of liked me to, so I asked her out. We started texting quite a bit and she really seemed into me. We went skating and went for coffee after, and we really hit it off. We kissed at the end of the night, and she asked me to text her when I got home.

A week later we went out again, but it just felt off. She said she liked to play pool so we went to a billiards place. It was really noisy and it just didn't feel right. I dropped her off after and we kissed again, but something was different. I don't know if it was just a bad date or maybe I did something, but I thought maybe there was still a chance. The next day she doesn't text me at all until later in the evening, and says she wants to talk. So we meet the day after that, but only briefly because she had to go. I was hoping we'd actually get a conversation going and talk about things, but she just said she wanted to stay friends and that she wasn't totally ready to move on after breaking up with her more recent boyfriend and that was it, I barely got a word in and before you know it I'm just standing there feeling like a schmuck.

Not long after that my friends that introduced us broke up. I'm friends with him and she's best friends with her, so I figured I probably wouldn't see her again.

I pocket texted her about a month ago and tried to start a conversation, but she seemed like she just didn't care and didn't make an effort. A few days ago I had a party at my place for my birthday and invited her, but she didn't show up. I texted her a couple days later saying it was too bad she couldn't make it, then after a while we started talking about her going to school and asked her what she was taking and all that. From seemed like she had a better attitude this time, and from what she's been posting on Twitter she's wanting a relationship.

A little about me. I'm a very private person, and it takes me a while to get comfortable with someone. I'm also quite shy sometimes and making a connection with someone isn't always easy. I didn't really think that one bad date would be deal breaker, especially since the date before went so well and she was always flirting with me before that. Looking back I feel like I could have done things differently.

Basically I'd like to see her again and maybe get an idea of what happened, and see if she even liked me in the first place or if I misinterpreted everything. I feel like I shouldn't be thinking about her this much, we only went out a couple times, but for some reason I can't get her off my mind, no matter how hard I try.

Should I try and see her again? If so what's the best way to ask her? Or should I just move on and forget about her?

Views: 150

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

She wants a relationship.  But not with you. 

Take whatever time you need, and deal with the loss.  If you need to cry, do it; if you need to go out in the woods and cuss a blue streak, do it.  Just do whatever works for you. 

Then move on.  Don't contact her again.  If you're ready to date again, let others know.  If not, wait until you are. 

Larry covered it pretty well, she's not looking for a relationship with you. By the care you put into the two dates you sound like a decent guy so she was probably seeing if there was a spark there, but there apparently isn't. So best thing to do is move on, take your time and find someone else.

Don't text her any more or contact her because you'll seem needy and now that you've established a relationship isn't going to happen, a friendship isn't likely or healthy either.

Best of luck in your future dates. Take this situation as a learning curve!

Sorry Kevin, it sucks but it didn't work out. It happens. Some women (and guess some guys) get caught up when meeting a new person they are in to and move quick in the excitement. Then after a date or two their brains catch up and they realize that they are not that into the guy. This is especially true after a recent breakup (hence the term "rebound"). Its awkward for all involved when one of the pair were hoping for more as you are in this case.

It seems to me that she recognizes her blunder of getting your hopes up and is trying to let you down easy. You probably sensed this yourself in that second, less passionate, kiss. She was trying to let you down gently without being a cold bitch. That is not an easy task. You've given her plenty of opportunity such as the birthday party invite and I think you have to accept that she's not in to you.

The best thing to do is to make this easier on both of you and move on. Stop texting her and stop reading her twitter feed. Don't try and make her explain this further. You are just making it more awkward and forcing her to be meaner to you than she is trying to.

There is nothing wrong with you in this case and you did nothing wrong. You'd didn't mess this one up. You just met a girl who was vulnerable, looking for a bit of attention, and if you were in a similar mind you might have had a few dates of loveless passion, and moved on. But you are looking for love and got hurt. It happens. It sucks. But no one is to blame here. Just accept it and move on.

And I repeat. Stop texting her. Stop calling her. Stop following her. She is not into you. She is not a bad person and you are not a loser. You are just two people who are not compatible for a relationship. You dated and it didn't work out. Happens to all of us.

Agreed with the rest. She isn't interested. It sucks learning like this, good lord I don't envy you right now. But learn it well so you don't waste time in the future.

 

The worst part is that as far as the two dates, there wasn't much you could do better, the two of you just didn't fully connect. You sensed it, she sensed it. The only thing to improve on is understanding those signs and moving on earlier.

Yeah that's what I figured. Thanks for all the input guys.

RSS

Latest Activity

Padre posted a discussion

Girls in football

I was just watching Sunday Night Football and they had the commercial talking about this high school girl who is the QB for football. Am I just out of step with things or does this just not seem like a good idea. I just do not see how having co-ed sports at higher levels is ever a good idea. Any thoughts?See More
28 minutes ago
Will replied to Christian's discussion 20 year old looking for advice from you "white collar" gents.....is the money worth it?
"I teach.  Money is good, and I get to pick my projects, and I'm doing two things I love:  teaching, and programming.  YMMV."
40 minutes ago
Mark Phillippo updated their profile
1 hour ago
Sean replied to Vytautas's discussion What Do We Learn From History?
"I minored in history at University.  It is my belief from this experience that, on the whole, the people who study the past or who read the old books are the academics, and they of all people are the ones least likely to gain any benefit from…"
2 hours ago
Sean replied to AlanR's discussion Picking up a side hustle - Investing the time and energy before you see a payoff.
"Have a side hustle or two. I used to have more. my main side hustle is being a woodworker and cabinet maker. Unfortunately, there is not much money in it for quality work. Too much competition from Nordic Surprise and their ilk. The woodworkers I…"
3 hours ago
Josh100LuBu posted a video

Me Winning The 2014 Britain Finals (Over 50's Champion)

Highlight video of me winning The Britain Finals & taking home the gold. I trained all year for The Finals and placed 1st.
3 hours ago
Leto Atreides II replied to Josh100LuBu's discussion My Fathers Bodybuilding Progress Leading Towards The 2014 Championships.
"Anabolic Steroids FTW!"
3 hours ago
P. Stevenson replied to RL Waldron's discussion Search for a High Quality Wallet
"They say that shark wallets are pretty durable http://www.realmenswallets.com/shark-wallet-shark-skin-wallet/What do you think?"
3 hours ago

© 2014   Created by Brett McKay.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service