I'm not interested in women myself, but I'm often surprised by the kind of woman guys are into when it comes to relationships. I can't imagine myself marrying someone I don't respect, and yet a lot of guys seem to be into women who might be called dependent, passive, or helpless. I.e., they don't have a lot of practical skills, they have no or little ambition when it comes to careers, and/or they want to sit back and be taken care of. What I'm saying is they basically fit the mold of the role women are traditionally supposed to have, or are "ladylike." But I think if I were straight, I would want nothing to do with such women, and would instead only be interested in women who have skills, ambition, self-reliance, and overall respectability. So what I'm saying is that I would be into more masculine women (maybe not in appearance, but in attitude and capabilities).

Is that something straight guys often find attractive? It does make sense for guys to want to have someone to protect, but is that the only reason to like the more feminine type of woman? Is there something respectable about that type of woman from a guy's perspective? And perhaps this is a different discussion altogether, but I'm also baffled that guys are interested in women who have no interests in common with them. If you're a stereotypical man with interests like sports, cars, the outdoors, etc. and your wife has stereotypical female insterests like shopping and fashion, what do you talk about?  I guess what I'm confused about is how those people get together in the first place, and what their relationships are based on (if anything other than sexual attraction).

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It sounds like you're more into seeing masculine virtues than feminine ones, which does seem to make sense, doesn't it?

Femininity does have its appeal!  My wife has no trace of ambition, but she's sweet, generous, perceptive, as well as having qualities probably anyone wants (smart, funny).  I'd prefer her to someone like me.

Our interests don't perfectly overlap, but isn';t that going to be true?

We were friends first, though I think that's unusual.  We liked to joke around.  Convo is still the heart of it all.

May I say I had a lot of fun with that question.

I certainly do have a preference for masculine virtues, and I don't have a lot of experience with traditional femininity. Most of my teenage years were spent living with only my single father, with neither my sister nor my mom in the house. And I don't have much of a reason to seek out social interaction with women, unlike most guys. So I guess that's why I want to understand what most guys think about it better. It's part of the male experience that I'm missing. 

Something that comes to mind though is one female friend I have, whom I'm friends with mostly just because she initiated it without much input from myself. We have essentially no common interests, she doesn't have the best personality (and I don't know much about what virtues she may or may not have), and I sometimes find her tedious with how often she contacts me. And yet, we hang out on occasion, and I generally find her presence pleasant. So perhaps I'm overthinking it and these connections that don't make sense to me from the outside are just like that, due to circumstance and some connection that's not easy to define, but exists nonetheless.


Didn't we just have a similar discussion on this in the chat?

For me it's  been about friendship, that mixture of chemistry and common interests.


I view most other men as insecure in their own masculinity, who need a partner that will validate their status, esp. in the eyes of other men. As for shared interests, I feel a lot of men get married because they feel they have to, and then the marital relationship is based almost solely on sex/procreation/family rearing. To me there is so much more, but again that is just me.

It has come at a cost of feeling outside the male club, but it's something I've never wanted and continue to choose as my way.


"women who have skills, ambition, self-reliance, and overall respectability" masculine women

That was poorly worded.  Clearly, respectability can come in many different forms and it can also mean different things to different people. 

"Is that something straight guys often find attractive?"

Some straight guys are into that and others aren't. Just like some gay guys are into twinks and others are into jocks or bears.

cute  kind

Strong women tend to intimidate some men.

Usually the kind of men that post "is it manly" threads.


Not me. I always ask my wife to tie me up, but she refuses.

Damn strong-willed woman.


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