So I'm reading the newspaper once I get settled-in at work, and it had this article about teen girls facing a new type of dating abuse (not relevent to the post, but the article was about stalking text messages and boyfriends forcing them to "sext") And my first thought is, why are teenage girls facing so much dating abuse nowadays....I remember a news article awhile back where a School Resource Officer was talking about dating violence and sexual violence to kid's in 5th grade...And there were kids in 5th and 6th grade who had already experienced dating violence!
Now, I'm 22, so I don't know about decades past, but I've got a lot of friends and co-workers from The Greatest Generation and Generation X--male and female--and I've never heard any stories from them about dating violence when they were in their teens....Is the current generation really this fucked-up and raised this badly that at whatever age they are in 5th & 6th grade that they think abusing your girlfriend is okay?
I'm not going to blame the media--although the media does seem to portray DV as normal and acceptable--because any child raised right would have it in him to realize that what he's seeing on TV or on the internet is bullshit...So I'm going to shoot the blame to the parents and older siblings: Children see their fathers smacking their mother around, girls see their mothers taking the beating and not doing fuckall about it, thy see it from their sisters and brothers' relationships....
If the world is getting to a point where little punkass kids in 5th and 6th grade are starting to lay hands on females and thinking it's alright, and the females think it's acceptable.....Stop the world and let my pink Scottish ass off....
Misogyny and violence against women is not new. It's just taking new forms with new technology. Who knows if it's more or less than in the past. How would we measure such a thing?
And does it even matter? The fact that it is happening is bad enough. We don't need to compare it to times past, searching for some golden age when this didn't happen. That golden age doesn't exist. It never didn't happen.
Misogyny is unethical and immoral anywhere and everywhere, no matter what some equivocating men seem to think is acceptable. It's on this site. It's in the media. It's passed along in our societal values. We have to stamp it out.
Oh yeah, I know misogyny has been around since cavemen....And this post had 0 to do with technology allowing it to take new forms....It has to do with girls as young as those in 5th and 6th grade dealing with dating violence.
And you are right, the fact it is happening at any age to any female is bad enough....And I certainly don't let it go on if I see it occurring. We really do have to stamp out misogyny as it is not a positive societal value, and it's certainly not "cool" or "funny" or manly.
All in all, I agree with you, Vytautas....But it just makes it worse when kids are involved. It might kill my credibility, but I am going to quote Karl from Sling Blade here: "I don't think anything bad ought to happen to children. I think the bad stuff should be saved up for the people whose grown up. That's the way I see it."
I totally see your point. The young age at which this is happening really is appalling. It does start at the home though with good values instilled by parents and demonstrated by their example.
This street goes both ways. If we are going to condemn misogyny, we must also condemn misandry.
Yes but misandry hasn't really ever been as destructive as misogyny. Men are rarely raped by women. When women are raped there is always an attempt in court to mar the woman's reputation and credibility, and to question her motives for accusation or even blame it on the clothes she wears. When men are sexually active they are hailed as studs; women are excoriated as sluts. Men are the predominant leaders in every sector of government, business, education, and the military. Men make more money than women. Women weren't even granted voting rights until well after it was given to people that the United States considered property. When women are aggressive in the workplace they are bitches. A man is expected to be aggressive in order to get business done. And when women do push for their rights, they are depicted as ugly, slutty, or man-hating femi-nazis. The caricatures make it impossible to have an honest conversation.
In so many ways, shapes, and forms it is misogyny that has been so much more destructive than any actual or perceived misandry that men feel they are subject to.
I disagree. Misandry and misogyny are equally wrong. Misandry is every bit as destructive as misogyny, and arguably more so.
Does it matter? Would you care if it was your daughter it was happening to?
I'm just saying that the statistics wouldn't matter so much. And even for a more scientific look at the situation, I don't think it matters either. The best it could give us is let us pat ourselves on the back for improving the lives of women. That's not particularly useful because we know that life is still quantitatively and qualitatively worse for women than men. We know they are subject to discrimination, sexism, and violence. So a comparative study of then and now would do us little good for how to plan for and develop policy for the future.
I'm with Will on this. Without the statistics we don't know anything about the reality of the scope of this issue.
Lets be careful before we do something stupid like pull all the young men aside and say that they are all potential rapists, while telling all the girls that all the young men ARE rapists.
I wouldn't go so far as to call them 'rapists' or even 'potential rapists', I would, however and have let my step-son know that if a girl says "No" or "stop", at any point, then he stops, period. Better a cold shower than a decade or two in prison. A little bit of fear of consequences could go a long way and it isn't necessarily a bad thing.
Unfortunately sentences for rape are typically much shorter than that - closer to that we give for minor drug charges for personal use.
It doesn't matter if the abuse has increased, decreased, or stayed the same; it is wrong period. If I found out my son or step-son was committing such acts against his girlfriend I'd lay into what ever was left of him after my wife got through with him. We've had the talk with him about this. We also talked with my step-daughter about not allowing these things to happen and let her know that she had our total support. We have also talked to both older children about sexting and the inappropriateness of sexting, sending pictures, and even receiving such pictures from friends or boy/girlfriends.