I am struggling at this point in my life to see what it is to be a man in the modern world.

I was raised by my grandfather who was an  old school man, and I have picked up his way of looking at the world and put my own twist on it. I believe that a man is someone who his family can look to for support, stability and safety. Someone who teaches his sons how to be men and to respect others.

Has the old school man who would hold open doors for people, and hold himself in a way that made others see him as a man died out?  Are men who try to stand on their own two feet a thing of the past?

I have spent many years developing my integrity, and now have a strong sense of who I am. I have a boy of two years old and have recently found out that I am having another boy in May. It scares me to thing about the world they will be growing up in. I will teach them right from wrong and how to be what I see as men. But I can't stop thinking that I would be teaching them something that their classmates may not understand. And this will isolate them in life.

I would really appreciate you points of view.

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I was raised by my grandfather who was an  old school man, and I have picked up his way of looking at the world and put my own twist on it.

Your sons will do the same thing. And if they remain true to themselves they will remain isolated from people you don't want them associating with anyway. 

I think every generation looks back and thinks their values are lost on the next one. I won't argue if it is true or not; as a parent I can only control how I raise our kids, and that is what I focus on.

Nothing wrong with being a bit isolated, especially if we are talking about the actions that seem to pass as adult behavior these days. My son has been raised hearing me laud things like character, hard work, faith, responsibility and so forth. He is beginning to see a difference between himself and others. I told him he is beginning to recognize the difference between being simply a man and being a good man. I also told him I was proud of the man he was becoming.  

Nope! Nothing wrong at all with not being part of the herd!

I tend to lean toward being simply a man as a function of age. Naturally there is some grey in the older teen years, but by and large a man is a man by the time he is 20. He may be a sorry example of manhood but still a man. The reason I think this way is because regardless of his character or maturity, he still will be burdened by expectations that boys aren't troubled with. For example, if a man acts an ass, I hold him accountable. If a boy acts an ass, I'm seeking out the parents.

Very well said.  Keep that in mind for when I children of my own.


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