I am struggling at this point in my life to see what it is to be a man in the modern world.

I was raised by my grandfather who was an  old school man, and I have picked up his way of looking at the world and put my own twist on it. I believe that a man is someone who his family can look to for support, stability and safety. Someone who teaches his sons how to be men and to respect others.

Has the old school man who would hold open doors for people, and hold himself in a way that made others see him as a man died out?  Are men who try to stand on their own two feet a thing of the past?

I have spent many years developing my integrity, and now have a strong sense of who I am. I have a boy of two years old and have recently found out that I am having another boy in May. It scares me to thing about the world they will be growing up in. I will teach them right from wrong and how to be what I see as men. But I can't stop thinking that I would be teaching them something that their classmates may not understand. And this will isolate them in life.

I would really appreciate you points of view.

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Young children never understand, till they're told.  Maybe your boys will explain, and just maybe their friends will get it.

What it means to be a man worldwide:  http://artofmanliness.com/2009/02/12/is-manliness-obsolete/

I was raised by my grandfather who was an  old school man, and I have picked up his way of looking at the world and put my own twist on it.

Your sons will do the same thing. And if they remain true to themselves they will remain isolated from people you don't want them associating with anyway. 

I think every generation looks back and thinks their values are lost on the next one. I won't argue if it is true or not; as a parent I can only control how I raise our kids, and that is what I focus on.

In complete agreement here Carl. If other boys or males act in a certain manner that is not manly do we actually want our children associating with them? The same goes for our daughters. I've been to highschool football and basketball games and have seen teenage mothers with their little babies parading around like their the "Sh1T". I cringe to think about what their futures hold for them and those babies because I know that the 'baby-daddy' won't be much help raising those kids.

Nothing wrong with being a bit isolated, especially if we are talking about the actions that seem to pass as adult behavior these days. My son has been raised hearing me laud things like character, hard work, faith, responsibility and so forth. He is beginning to see a difference between himself and others. I told him he is beginning to recognize the difference between being simply a man and being a good man. I also told him I was proud of the man he was becoming.  

Nope! Nothing wrong at all with not being part of the herd!

Sorry, I giving lots of responses here. I agree with most of your post except the point about the difference between being a man and being a good man. The difference should be said as being male and being a man.

I tend to lean toward being simply a man as a function of age. Naturally there is some grey in the older teen years, but by and large a man is a man by the time he is 20. He may be a sorry example of manhood but still a man. The reason I think this way is because regardless of his character or maturity, he still will be burdened by expectations that boys aren't troubled with. For example, if a man acts an ass, I hold him accountable. If a boy acts an ass, I'm seeking out the parents.

Very well said.  Keep that in mind for when I children of my own.

I have a 5 year old son and a 16 year old step son. Unfortunately during my step son's formative years I was not part of his life so he grew up with a single mom and his father was disinterested in spending much time with him (not that that was a bad thing in retrospect). I too am worried about their futures and the world that they've come into. However, I've come to the conclusion that much of what we see in modern males (metro's etc.) is our own fault. We've allowed what we see to happen with barely a whimper or reaction. The only thing we can do now is to teach our sons and daughters what we know is the right way of behavior for both men and women and let them go into the world with that knowledge. If they fall into the trap of acting in a manner not becoming of a man or woman then that is their fault, all we can do is offer our advice at that point.

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