This has befuddled me for years, believe it or not.

As a male unsocialized with other men, I have no idea what to do when a guy asks me that (women never do, they say "hi").

In the gym I go to I still feel very uncomfortable with the jock/male/sportstalking guy crowd.

I keep my head down, get my workout done and flee. But there are occasional times when I have to lock eyes with someone, and here it comes; "How's it goin." he will say. I will bluster out a "fine, thanks" but by then I'm usually talking to his back or simply airspace.

Today a guy (some ex military manly man) I'd been avoiding finally bumped into me; "How's it goin." he says. "Hello" I reply, treating it as the greeting it seems to be.

"I ASKED YOU HOW YOU ARE DOING" he replies loudly, a hint of annoyance in his voice. "Fine, thank you." I chirp embarrassedly.

So now I'm really confused; is he being a jerk, or am I? It's come to where I don't want to make any eye contact with anyone there as I haven't the foggiest idea what to say. I don't know who to ask for guidance on this, because it seems to be in the same category of asking how football is played; I should know already. 

I don't.

Views: 2100

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

You are over thinking it. It is just a filler for people who have to be talking, who think they owe you something because you happen to be sharing the same space or made eye contact. Just say "alright" and move on.


 

Agreed.  You're overthinking it.  It's a colloquialism which means essentially, "how are you?"  In the New York metro area, the common variant is, "how you doin'?"  For that matter, "howdy" is a contraction of "how do you do," which is the same thing.

 

It's not necessarily intended as a way to initiate a conversation, it's just a casual greeting.  99% of the time, the response will be something along the lines of, "fine," regardless of whether that's true.

Well, it just seems weird to say "fine, thanks" to someone's back.

Thanks for asking this!  I've had similar experiences.  Now I just say "fantastic" when i get that phrase, but then I wonder if im being impolite by not asking how they're doing. 

Im pretty sure most guys don't expect a response to "how ya doin?" and its just a greeting, but I look forward to reading other's responses to this.

It seems like it is used as a greeting; just seems like a clumsy way to greet someone, with verbiage meant to start a conversation.

Ok; so the man was an ass? Very confusing.

Yes, he was an ass. You hold no obligation to answer his question to you, even if he thought he was being nice and social.

Yes, he was.

"Fine" is fine.

Yes, he was an ass. He took the opportunity to be nasty to you. It was completely unnecessary.

I think a good response would be a simple "Hey. Good. You?"

You bumped into an a-hole.  Next time he asks that just say "Good but a little to the left".  leave him wondering a bit.  To anyone else a good answer would be "Good, you?".

Alternate, a simple quick small raise of your head (kind of like nodding yes but only in the up direction) while looking them in the eyes.  Acknowledges their presence and their greeting and you don't have to say anything.

That's my answer to "how's it hanging." "How's it going" gets good thanks, how are you?" or "I'm great man, how are things with you." The jerk Carl encountered may have a hearing problem, or is really simply a douche.

RSS

Latest Activity

Rick Shelton replied to David F.'s discussion Civilization Restart Garden
"That would be cool Carl."
7 minutes ago
Rick Shelton replied to Jack Bauer's discussion What'cha watchin'? Your manly entertainment recommendations, reviews and discussions ...
"Why do you still play it?  Is that the only game you've been able to 'beat'?  It's almost two decades old, just look at the characters.  Oh, wait I see it now the redhead is quite stacked, I understand now."
8 minutes ago
Rafael updated their profile
8 minutes ago
Penelope replied to David F.'s discussion Civilization Restart Garden
"People milled their own wheat in the 50s? And, again, what's the goal, and what's the time table?  We can pound the kernels mortar and pestle style the first x years while experimenting with bigger mills."
10 minutes ago
Rick Shelton replied to Jack Bauer's discussion What'cha watchin'? Your manly entertainment recommendations, reviews and discussions ...
"Then why the hell do you keep poking the bear?"
10 minutes ago
Jack Bauer replied to Jack Bauer's discussion What'cha watchin'? Your manly entertainment recommendations, reviews and discussions ...
"I doubt it.  But, I wasn't talking about you.  You wondered why I don't post documents.  I answered.  It's just paper.   JB"
10 minutes ago
Paul_of_TX replied to John Muir's discussion Our Obligation As Men To Be Vigilant In Adressing Threats To Public Safety
"But do you have any actual proof that people are moving out of Illinois? They also lost a seat in the House last year but that is totally not based on anything associated with population."
14 minutes ago
Rafael left a comment for Brett McKay
"Hi Brett,My apologies if this is the wrong section to ask - but I recently paid the nominal book club fee, yet still can't enter the section. Can you please point to me to how I can fix this?Many thanks,Rafe"
15 minutes ago

© 2014   Created by Brett McKay.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service