This has befuddled me for years, believe it or not.

As a male unsocialized with other men, I have no idea what to do when a guy asks me that (women never do, they say "hi").

In the gym I go to I still feel very uncomfortable with the jock/male/sportstalking guy crowd.

I keep my head down, get my workout done and flee. But there are occasional times when I have to lock eyes with someone, and here it comes; "How's it goin." he will say. I will bluster out a "fine, thanks" but by then I'm usually talking to his back or simply airspace.

Today a guy (some ex military manly man) I'd been avoiding finally bumped into me; "How's it goin." he says. "Hello" I reply, treating it as the greeting it seems to be.

"I ASKED YOU HOW YOU ARE DOING" he replies loudly, a hint of annoyance in his voice. "Fine, thank you." I chirp embarrassedly.

So now I'm really confused; is he being a jerk, or am I? It's come to where I don't want to make any eye contact with anyone there as I haven't the foggiest idea what to say. I don't know who to ask for guidance on this, because it seems to be in the same category of asking how football is played; I should know already. 

I don't.

Views: 2335

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

Agreed.  You're overthinking it.  It's a colloquialism which means essentially, "how are you?"  In the New York metro area, the common variant is, "how you doin'?"  For that matter, "howdy" is a contraction of "how do you do," which is the same thing.

 

It's not necessarily intended as a way to initiate a conversation, it's just a casual greeting.  99% of the time, the response will be something along the lines of, "fine," regardless of whether that's true.

Well, it just seems weird to say "fine, thanks" to someone's back.

Thanks for asking this!  I've had similar experiences.  Now I just say "fantastic" when i get that phrase, but then I wonder if im being impolite by not asking how they're doing. 

Im pretty sure most guys don't expect a response to "how ya doin?" and its just a greeting, but I look forward to reading other's responses to this.

It seems like it is used as a greeting; just seems like a clumsy way to greet someone, with verbiage meant to start a conversation.

Ok; so the man was an ass? Very confusing.

Yes, he was an ass. He took the opportunity to be nasty to you. It was completely unnecessary.

I think a good response would be a simple "Hey. Good. You?"

That's my answer to "how's it hanging." "How's it going" gets good thanks, how are you?" or "I'm great man, how are things with you." The jerk Carl encountered may have a hearing problem, or is really simply a douche.

My go-to for this greeting is:

"Good, thanks, you?"

I don't expect a response. For me that response just means "Hello back", but I also avoid pissing off someone like your ex-military jerk.

Davis, that response works better for the slightly out of date expression, "how's it hangin'," but, yeah.

I'd forgotten about this expression! And the typical response was always "a little to the left/right".

Was he saying it like Joey from friends does ?

Haha! Good one. 

RSS

Latest Activity

Shane replied to Braeden 2.0's discussion Attractions to other Cultures and Revulsion towards other Cultures
"We also caught them shooting their kids in the back of the head to gain access to our bases."
13 minutes ago
Portnoy replied to Sir's discussion Polarization, "violent rhetoric" in the group The Great Debate
"I've been that guy once. It didn't even hit me that there was a storm coming and I went just to get some beer. Couldn't believe the madhouse and how the bread and water aisles were empty."
32 minutes ago
Lumberjoe replied to Braeden 2.0's discussion Attractions to other Cultures and Revulsion towards other Cultures
"What the fuck?"
41 minutes ago
Lumberjoe replied to Sir's discussion Polarization, "violent rhetoric" in the group The Great Debate
"Different realities up here. If the power goes out during the summer, we're not too worried. If the power goes out during the winter, we might die. Food can just go outside and freeze solid and therefore keep. For water, we can just bring snow…"
42 minutes ago
Sir replied to Sir's discussion Polarization, "violent rhetoric" in the group The Great Debate
"Milk and bread:  every time it snows, I hear something along the lines of which makes me think (but not say) 1.  You were there too, so if it's stupid to be there the day before a snowstorm... 2.  Weather report tells us…"
43 minutes ago
Shane replied to Braeden 2.0's discussion Attractions to other Cultures and Revulsion towards other Cultures
"As in, when their little kids misbehave, they take their feet and hold them in the fire."
45 minutes ago
Sir replied to Braeden 2.0's discussion Attractions to other Cultures and Revulsion towards other Cultures
"I'd totally try the first."
51 minutes ago
Sir replied to Braeden 2.0's discussion Attractions to other Cultures and Revulsion towards other Cultures
"Don't experiment.  Don't learn things that aren't in school.  Don't try new things."
52 minutes ago

© 2017   Created by Brett McKay.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service