As a father of four, (the oldest now a teenage 13 son) I want to be my son's teacher on what it means to be a real man. My father was very distant and removed from me even though I grew up in a home with him. We never talked or worked together. He always did his own thing, came in for meals, watched a movie at night and went to bed. I never learned much from him. That's not what I want for my boys (or girls).

With that said, what is the one thing you wish your father had taught you when you were a kid becoming a man?

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Me too.  My dad and I are pretty close.

I wish that had been true for me. I want that for my kids--and my boys particularly.

It's probably just because he is outgoing and optimistic, but I had to learn myself not to trust anyone and always plan for the worst.  I'm very cynical, so it's probably just me.

Things he didn't know either.

There'a some truth in this. I know that I don't know a lot about a lot of things. I used to think I knew just about everything.

I think one of the things he didn't know was how to relate to a son. He commented a few months ago that he wished he had been closer to me when I was growing up.

My father has told me he thought he and my mother did a good job ... but they felt like they didn't teach us enough about budgeting and they didn't take us to church enough.

Worked out fine, though.  My wife and I ended up being the catalyst that invited them back to church, and I've learned what I need to know about personal finance with my father over the past few years.


JB

I was born cheap.

Hi,

In some topics my father is really good. Taking Jack Bauer example, personal finance for instance. He has a lot of personal interest on it, some books, so he talks about it frequently and the samples on his bookshelf called my attention. Certainly, it's a very important knowledge to take for the whole life.

About some personal matters he is a little shy, my mother complains with him about it, he doesn't like confrontation or to go too deep on some intimate aspects of my life. But we are very close anyway, spend a lot of time together when he's not away for work and can take healthy discussions, although our views in many aspects are very different =)

How to change the oil in my car, or anything about cars for that matter. I have no desire to be a grease monkey, but my high school girlfriend had to teach me how to change a tire. Other than that, not much.

Yeah, I've had to self-teach myself those things or find friends to do it. That's one thing my son does with me all the time. He's actually got a mechanical aptitude I never had.

My father has told me his goal was to raise children that could take care of themselves. The greatest complement was when he said that he feels that he has done well in doing so. I have 2 daughters........and my hope is that I raise them to be able to take care of themselves.

I have been thinking allot about that myself Joseph. I grew up with father but my parents were divorced when I was just turning 13. My father is a life long carpenter so I learned allot of that from him. My brother was ten years older than me and taught me allot as well but I never got any real connection on living like a man or any real advice aside from working hard. Now that I am in the military and have two children of my own I would like to teach them the things that I was never taught. 

I think that question is part of what draws allot of men to this forum.The articles on proper dressing, grooming, family structure and traditions are all things that were lost to one degree or another in our generation. The baby boomer generation became very selfish to their own needs, and they let our traditional teachings that are passed down fade away.

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