As a father of four, (the oldest now a teenage 13 son) I want to be my son's teacher on what it means to be a real man. My father was very distant and removed from me even though I grew up in a home with him. We never talked or worked together. He always did his own thing, came in for meals, watched a movie at night and went to bed. I never learned much from him. That's not what I want for my boys (or girls).

With that said, what is the one thing you wish your father had taught you when you were a kid becoming a man?

Tags: Father, son, teenager

Views: 661

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

I have been thinking allot about that myself Joseph. I grew up with father but my parents were divorced when I was just turning 13. My father is a life long carpenter so I learned allot of that from him. My brother was ten years older than me and taught me allot as well but I never got any real connection on living like a man or any real advice aside from working hard. Now that I am in the military and have two children of my own I would like to teach them the things that I was never taught. 

I think that question is part of what draws allot of men to this forum.The articles on proper dressing, grooming, family structure and traditions are all things that were lost to one degree or another in our generation. The baby boomer generation became very selfish to their own needs, and they let our traditional teachings that are passed down fade away.

My dad honestly does not know a lot about many things except for morality and Christianity, I've found.  I'm thankful he taught me that much.  It is certainly helpful, but my dad isn't very self-reliant and doesn't keep his emotions in check, so I've tried to learn those aspects on my own.

My dad was great. He taught me the basics I needed to know. I then learned everything I needed as life went on.

mine taught me alot, including how to sharpen a chain saw! but i never learned how to change oil in a car..only a lawn mower. But looking back, he did spend alot of time.

My dad traveled a lot for work growing up but when he was home he did teach loads of important things.  I think the real killer piece of the puzzle was that my dad had (still has) a way of teaching lessons that doesn't feel like he is teaching at all.  That's the thing I really want to master. 

Kids, especially teens, do not like being lectured or hearing that they need to shut up and learn. The old man could make you see the light in such a way that you figured that you came about it all on your own.

The real important things that I know I picked up from him are:

1) Social skills, how to behave and proper etiquette for speaking/interacting with others

2) How to influence people, how to make people want to follow you without demanding or commanding them

3) Work ethic, the importance of out hustling the guy next to you in school, in sports, in your career, etc.

4) Sense of Humor, how to find the silly in every day and not be afraid to laugh at it.

Things I wish he did teach me, but he didn't:

1) Conflict management, how to resolve heated situations to your benefit.

2) How to love openly, he very rarely showed his affections to my brothers or my mother.

3) The importance of fitness in your life, he is rather inactive and while not overweight he was never in good shape.

Me and my dad were really close, but I wish he taught me to save money and how to fix things. I guess that doesn't make much sense since he was awful at both. I've learned on my own though.

I wish my father would have taught me the importance of being self-confident in front of girls and to not always be the nice guy who tries to impress girls. I had to unlearn all the nice guy stuff and develop real self-confidence from other people. That doesn't have to be this way. Develop your son to a self-confident human being and he will thank you for it.

Mostly, I just wish I'd listened better. I'm sure the lessons were all there, but I was pretty tone deaf until I hit, say... 32? 

I'm acutally surprised by how much has stuck with me even when I "didn't listen" I apparently learned.

I wish my father would have taught me and my brothers and sisters how to be responsible. I had to learn the hard was on my own trail and error but hell i did it. My younger brother and older sister sadly don't and choose to blame the world for there fuck ups. To think all of this could have been avoided with a little guidance and good old dad knowledge.. Sheesh

I'd like to think I've given my oldest son the confidence to take on almost anything.  This is the same kid who asked me to change his tire not a year ago and a couple of weekends ago he brought home brake-pads for his car and started working on them, although he did ask for some help, which I provided.  He now changes his own oil, changed out the air filter, helped me troubleshoot an electrical problem with his starter, and helped me change the rotors on his sister's car as well as the oil.  He's also troubleshot the radio in his car as it wouldn't pick up radio stations.

There's quite a lot that I wish my father had taught me growing up. My father is an unbelievably hard worker and a fanatical do-it-yourself-er. Unfortunately, he was never the best teacher or really good at giving advice. 

Above all, there's a lot about being social that I wish he had taught me. Learning how to make friends, talk to women, and be actively social would have been really helpful when I was younger. But I don't think being social was ever his strong suit either. 

Learning how to land your first job would have been a good one too. As a high-school age kid with no relevant job skills, trying to get a job with a fluff resume and a bunch of online applications was futile. I didn't realize then that you really had to work your network in order to actually reach a live body and get an interview. 

RSS

Latest Activity

Elon Erani replied to John Gardiner's discussion Lost weigh and still wont take my shirt off in front of others in the group The Shirtless Man
"John, way to go! 150 lbs is huge. Continue your journey & enjoy it. I look forward to reading more of your successes."
44 seconds ago
Elon Erani joined Bruce Uall's group
Thumbnail

The Shirtless Man

Shirtlessness is the essence of manliness.
45 seconds ago
Michael D. Denny replied to Jack Bauer's discussion "Don't follow your passion" -- Mike Rowe
"Theres' no fight, Steve. It's not like there is some debate there. He is who he is, who does what he does and says what he says. You are who you are, you live off of a woman and you dislike the guy and what he has to…"
6 minutes ago
Lucius Artorius Castus replied to Jack Bauer's discussion "Don't follow your passion" -- Mike Rowe
""They see "work smart, not hard" as a way out of work." It isnt?"
12 minutes ago
Wolf & Iron replied to Andrew's discussion Young vs. Mature Relationships
"Good stuff, man! And you are asking the right questions, insightful and introspective. You (and she) won't find that in a lot of guys I'm afraid. Basically, tell her to lock you in soon or else she'll have to come to the forums to…"
12 minutes ago
Jack Bauer replied to Jack Bauer's discussion "Don't follow your passion" -- Mike Rowe
"I know the type because I was the type for a really long time.  Tough habit to break. JB"
12 minutes ago
Rene Vergara replied to Joshua Cawthorn's discussion Chess Openings in the group Chess
"In my experience, the most common response to 1.e4 is 1...c5. I wonder if there are geographical trends on openings..."
15 minutes ago
Carl Monster replied to Daniel Offenbacher's discussion First Girlfriend- How to make it work
"My mother-in-law used to say she didn't know her man could fart; till he did, on their wedding night. "
16 minutes ago

© 2014   Created by Brett McKay.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service