Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Rick Shelton on October 31, 2012 at 1:12pm

You can 'date around' without 'sleeping around'.

The question is what do you want. All sorts of boys are going to be interested in you so you have the choice. I will say don't let them feed you BullShot. What I mean about this is keep your head on straight and if what they say seems a bit off then it most probably is. An example is if the boy tells you his father isn't much of a provider but when you go to his house his parent drive nice cars, the house is a nice house in a decent neighborhood, and he has toys (4 wheelers etc.); then he's most likely making it up and then you have to wonder what else he's making up or lying about and what does that have to say about his character.

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Permalink Reply by AdamR on October 31, 2012 at 2:21pm

Hey Chrissie,

way to go for setting your standards high. If you are a Christian and you are looking for a Christian guy, then you already know that God already has someone who is going to love you and you are going to think is amazing.

In the meantime wait for God to give the word. He is faithful to tell you when is the right time. You will have peace about it. I know many will disagree with me, but I think you are right not to want to date around.

I have only dated, married, kissed, and loved one woman. I haven't had to go through the pain of a broken heart due to multiple relationships. It is so worth it to listen to God on this deal.

So all that to say way to go!

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Permalink Reply by Chrissie O'Bryan on November 13, 2012 at 5:42pm

thanks adam, its a blessing to have people encourage like that!! I was blessed by your purity, in a world where thats becoming sadly uncommon! The Lord bless you:)

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Permalink Reply by Rebekah on October 31, 2012 at 2:57pm

I am a Christian. I am almost twice your age. I am getting married in 2 weeks. In my opinion, the only advice that's at all useful here is "be honest" and "be yourself." But that's helpful for life in general, not so much for romance in particular.

Three things prepared me to meet my future husband and form a relationship with him:

1. I corrected the wrong and false abstinence education I was fed from junior high through college. I hope the materials I got are not still being used (though they're still in print), but I encourage people to learn about hormones and sexuality from an amoral, a-religious, that is, medical or scientific perspective.

2. I learned about people and relationships. This was also part of #1, but it's more subtle. Medical information can be just plain wrong. Morality is trickier. I read essays by people who frequently have one-night stands. I read blogs by Christian newlyweds. I read all the first-person perspectives of romance I could get my hands on. I joined AoM. [My fiance and I still use AoM to think about how we'd deal with tricky relationship circumstances.]

3. I learned about myself. I learned that, contrary to stereotype, I'm not very good at discerning or expressing my emotions. I learned what was necessary to keep me calm and happy.

All this learning came after the end of my second serious romance, 3+ years ago. Maybe I had to learn the hard way. But I certainly do not champion only dating when you're ready for marriage. The lessons I learned in my early and mid-20s, especially about myself, I wish I'd learned in my late teens, when I had a larger, tighter support group living with my parents. And dating only "good, Christian guys" certainly didn't prevent heartbreak. Not dating would not have prevented heartbreak, either. I don't recommend Josh Harris's books ("I Kissed Dating Goodbye"), but it's important to note that his book on how he courted his wife begins with them both sad, crying, lonely, and confused. Life can be rough, even for people who "do everything right."

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Permalink Reply by Shane on October 31, 2012 at 5:51pm

My advice to upgrade from Mosaic is solid.

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Permalink Reply by Rebekah on October 31, 2012 at 6:02pm

Eh, I have no problems with Firefox.

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Permalink Reply by Michael D. Denny on November 1, 2012 at 6:47pm

chrome rulez

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Permalink Reply by Kyle Egolf on November 8, 2012 at 1:44pm

Chrisse, your only 16. Your only a Freshman in High School. Live your life, be free of drama that high school boys tend to make, and worry about guys when you get done with school.

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Permalink Reply by Benjamin on November 13, 2012 at 9:34pm

I'm about to turn 19 and I'm a Christian and what is important to me about a woman first and foremost is that she must be a Christian and be strong in her faith and family values. Also, any man worth his salt wants a woman that has self-respect and high standards. 

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Permalink Reply by Shane on November 13, 2012 at 9:52pm

And when my definitions of self-respect and high-standards are different than yours?

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Permalink Reply by Arthur on November 13, 2012 at 9:52pm

Learn to cook food wrapped in Bacon :)

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Permalink Reply by Tyler Linscomb on November 13, 2012 at 11:32pm

Most guys that are worth your time are looking for a girl to be genuine. That is pretty cliche but if a man finds out that you consistently put on a face for different people and situations, that is not attractive.  That doesn't mean being blunt to everyone. In fact being a sweet, caring girl to everyone is a great attitude.  A girl who loves life and enjoys little everyday things and is aware of the things around her is attractive to everyone, not just guys.

It is a huge plus to know that if there are future children, she would be willing to stay at home. However, having a job shows that she can live independently and make decisions for herself.  Knowing how to cook is good too for the possible future family. You don't need to be a master chef by any means because that takes practice, but boy is that a big plus!

I think most guys that are looking seriously are looking for feminine girls. Girls that are ladies but know how to have fun. A good sense of humor is a big plus.

To know if a guy likes you varies from guy to guy. A general sign is how he compliments you. If he treats you like a queen, that is usually a pretty good sign. But there are plenty of players out there so letting him make the first moves is a good way to weed them out.

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