Just some insights anyone willing to share points of views.

Views: 479

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

Lack of trust.

Not having a bond, if a marriage is held together by "things" that aren't each other. If a marriage is held together just for example the childrens sake, the mortgage, appearances etc. A marriage should be held together by each other, if everything was removed the couple should want to stay together.

Just my 2 cents.

A marriage isn't an entity that exists on its own.   It is entirely a product of the participants.  It is toxic if you're toxic; it won't be if you're not.  As for what constitutes a toxic spouse ... did you have anything more specific?

There are very few occasions where marital problems are one-sided.  If a marriage isn't working, there's probably something each spouse can do to push in the right direction.

JB

But one spouse cannot be the only one pushing; it takes two working together.  If you can't work together at the same time then it's over.

One of the main problems marriages have is that it is made up of two individuals.  When it gets to the point where any one individual cannot or will not look at things from the other individual's perspective then there is going to be problems.  When it gets to that point things will start becoming a tit-for-tat battle.  "Well he/she did this so I'll do that".

To start fixing the marriage you have to both agree to forgive and not bring up the past.  This is one of the hardest things to do especially when arguing.

Take the biggest problem (one or maybe two) the hot button thing and work on that first, ignore the rest while you work on those; again this is hard as it is not (really) just one or two things but a whole slew of things that have built up over time.  Once you get that thing down work on the next 'hot button issue' but don't forget the previous issue(s).  But, again, you both have to agree to this in writing with signatures.

 

BUT, what do I know, I'm having difficulties in my marriage so take it for what it's worth.

I disagree, with a few exceptions.  One spouse can very often change the entire tone of the marriage ... generally, by visibly and intentionally putting their spouse before themselves, by giving the wife/husband what she/he needs even if you're not getting it back.  By sacrificing rather than struggling.  It ain't easy in a toxic environment ... but, it can right the ship.

 

Like I said, there are exceptions.  But, most people who think they're an exception, haven't tried it ... and probably aren't.

 

JB

Thank you for your input and sincerity.

I'll back that up, having experienced some very difficult times in my marriage.  Thanks to some dedicated communication from both of us, it's better now than it's been in years.

Hey Rick
Just because there are problems doesn't mean you haven't hit the nail on the head with your post. It's so easy to have problems in a marriage, but so tough to find solutions that give enough satisfaction to two people to be workable. Speaking from my own experience. Obviously this is why it is so critical to choose a good spouse, but given enough time and a few poor decisions, even the best marriage can turn into the proverbial hot mess.

A toxic marriage is one that harms, rather than aids, the well-being of the spouses and/or their children.

I very much agree with this definition.  Dysfunctional is not the same a toxic.  There are some situations that you can "live with", but a toxic situation is one that is actively destroying the participant.

One that involves contempt.  That's also a doomed marriage.

Lol..

RSS

Latest Activity

Oscar Coles replied to Jack Bauer's discussion What'cha watchin'? Your manly entertainment recommendations, reviews and discussions ...
"Movies:  Kung Fu Panda 1 and 2. Good God. These films blew my expectations. Dreamworks were never known for top quality films before but Christ these films are amazing; they some of the great american comedies.  The main character, Po,…"
38 minutes ago
Oscar Coles posted a discussion

So I've started a martial arts club...

So me and a group of friends have started an amateur Bartitsu society and we're pretty much teaching ourselves the martial art among elements of other fighting styles. While not ideal we're doing well, perfecting the techniques. I organise the activities and exercises and try to explain the basics of the technique from the instruction book.I was just wondering if anyone else has done something similar to this? If so do you have any tips of running these sort of clubs or interesting stories of…See More
48 minutes ago
UrbaNick6 replied to Cory Ross's discussion Audio Renaissance: The Art of Manly Music
"Eh. I think musical taste is directly tied to the perception of your experiences in life and is satisfying to the level of the soul (if you believe that a soul exists). Some of that is generational, some of it is cultural, but deep down a person…"
1 hour ago
Jay D replied to Cory Ross's discussion Audio Renaissance: The Art of Manly Music
"Bands currently on my MP3 Player: Older stuff: The Clash, John Lee Hooker, Iggy Pop, The Kinks, Elvis Costello, Warren Zevon, Tom Waits, The Doors, Bob Dylan, Curtis Mayfield, Sly and the Familiy Stone, Eric Clapton, Funkadelic, Grateful Dead, Led…"
1 hour ago
Daniel Rodriguez replied to Steve Dallas's discussion First God.... in the group The Great Debate
"So you would kill or betray everyone you know just because god told you?  "
2 hours ago
Pocono Charlie commented on thehuhman's group Men Over 50
"As a follow up to my December post, I had my inaugural colonscopy yesterday.  After being warned, repeatedly, that I would be sedated and unable to do much for the rest of the day, it was a surprise that I was awake for at least part of the…"
2 hours ago
John Muir replied to Steve Dallas's discussion First God.... in the group The Great Debate
"Terry I have absolutely zero respect for your opinions and your attitude in general, and I think it is YOU who broadly expresses non-scriptural opinions. Therefore, I have no patience with your hateful nonsense, therefore I reply to you in kind,…"
2 hours ago
John Muir replied to Steve Dallas's discussion First God.... in the group The Great Debate
"Of course, I can only answer about myself. I place God first. My faith is the prism through which I view - or try to view - all of creation. This prism is ever-changing. Perhaps ever growing like a crystal would be a more apt description. As my…"
4 hours ago

© 2015   Created by Brett McKay.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service