OK. It is Saturday afternoon, and the weather is beautiful here. It's the perfect kind of day. No pressure, no work, lotsa freedom. I like it!Oh... but I was just reminded by my loving wife, that I should get cleaned up and put my suit on, as we are attending an out of town wedding this afternoon. I forgot all about it. (and I barely know these people.) All of a sudden, I'm sinking. I feel as though I'd rather have a root canal, than to endure this upcoming event.
OK... OK... I'm now in the middle of an attitude adjustment; so I will be OK. I will take one for the team... and be the good husband. I will not make it a miserable experience for my wife. I'm starting to smile again. It won't be so bad. I mean, it's at an exclusive beach resort. I'll see some old friends, make some new ones, have a few drinks, and enjoy a great meal. Should be a fine time for all.
My question is why do we (guys) hate going to weddings? Comments anyone? (besides the one I opened with)
Weddings are one of those things that I drag my feet to, but when I get there, I end up having a good time. You talk, dance, meet new people, etc. I'm trying to learn to cut out the feet dragging part and just enjoy myself.
I dislike going to weddings for a couple of reasons. The main reason is that I'm not comfortable in those types of social settings. I wind up hanging out with people that I already hang out, so what's the point. Plus, I'm lazy and dislike having to leave my home.
Ya'll have clearly never been to a Denny family wedding. When we hold a marriage ceremony, the after affects leave the pastor ashamed of his congregation, there are at least three arrests made, two wrecked vehicles, three or four fist fights atwixt cousins, and half the family wake up the next morning nekkid in the front yard with blow flies circling overhead and two buzzards waiting to check if you're still alive or not. And Jack Daniels Distillery stock has gone up 4 percent.
When I was single and unattached, I loved going to weddings because there are a lot of single women at weddings, and weddings push certain buttons in women that make them easy pickings. Now that I'm in a committed relationship, I don't chase women, and I don't cheat. If I go to a wedding alone, I may flirt playfully (but nonsexually), but I'm not in hunting mode. If I go to a wedding with my girlfriend, I'm social, but non-flirtatious, and let her take the lead. To be honest, it makes weddings less fun that when I'm single. But I still use weddings to hone my social skills.
Weddings are such a feminine domain. Do any of us give a crap about centre pieces, or floral patterns, or the dress, the bridesmaid dresses or seating arrangements? The whole thing is pretty much entirely about the bride. Even the man she is marrying seems like just another accessory in the whole ceremony. As a man, I find the process to be kind of degrading. It just throws insult to injury by making us wear a heavy suit on some of the hottest days of the summer. It also reminds me of this video I came across.
I don't like going to weddings when you know the marriage won't last or that the couple won't enjoy their life together. You know the weddings I'm talking about: the groom is a complete jerk or the bride is a spoiled, selfish child. I dread going to those ceremonies. Everything feels forced and contrived.
On the other hand, when I attend a ceremony where I know both the bride and groom and know they truly love each other, those are the weddings I don't mind attending. Those tend to be great parties. Lots of love, laughter, and great fellowship. You can "feel" it in the atmosphere and sense it in the guests' smiles. I really enjoy those.
As for the weddings where I don't know the people well, I usually don't attend those.
I've been in weddings, DJ-ed weddings, and have been behind the viewfinder at weddings. It all comes down to the bride and groom and their families. As previously stated, if it's a good couple, it'll be a good wedding.
I just hope to find a woman who shares my thoughts on bliss. Let's spend more time having fun and getting to know each other than planning a wedding. I believe if people put enough effort into their marriage as they do their wedding day, divorces would drop drastically. Also, enough of the eleborate dinners and ceromonies... I'd just like to get hitched in some low key fashion with close family, then have a reception where we can all enjoy ourselves when we have the chance.
And I don't want this to sound my misogynistic about women's thoughts of weddings, but I'd rather my wife be queen of her castle for the rest of her life than a pretty princess for one day. Come on, let's use that money for a downpayment on a house! :-)
Very true... another thing I don't understand is getting married before "said person" (in most cases a grandparent) dies. Sure, I'd wish I still had my grandparents around for when I get married, but it's also my life. Let's get things right the first time. :-)
Since I started this discussion, I thought I should at least report back to you guys. We went to the wedding after all. And, much to my surprise, there was nothing boring about it! We had an outstanding time; and I'm glad we went. It was quite entertaining... lots to eat (and drink)... a great band, etc. (Of course, now that I'm seeing some of the photos from that night, I do wish someone would have asked me to get off the dance floor. It's going to be hard for me to live some of it down... Old men dancing, it's just wrong... LOL)
"This is a very delicate matter. The very fact that you've been with her for years in spite of the lack of sex tells me that you are still in love with her and there are many other aspects of the marriage which you gain satisfaction from.
"By the way, I might've made fun of dropping-trou and saying "how 'bout it?" -- but, if you do the harder stuff; if you keep sex on her mind; if you romance her; if you touch her; if you keep it fun; if you get her off frequently;…"
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"What have you done to address the problem? Besides whining. Besides pathetically begging. Besides just dropping-trou and saying "how 'bout it?".
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