Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Will on February 10, 2013 at 9:21pm

I don't know the history, so I'll just speak as though you'd never dated before, as you suggest.

3rd date is too soon for something major.  But I think you should go out for Valentine's, because not to at this point suggests you're really not interested.  A _small_ present wouldn't be amiss -- no jewelry yet.

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Permalink Reply by Settecase on February 11, 2013 at 12:19am

Write a note on some nice stationery and send it to her snail-mail style. Get her a book that has been inspirational to you. Or, give her your copy. That's sentimental. 

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Permalink Reply by The Tactical Gentleman on February 11, 2013 at 1:07am

I think you should take her out. If you guys enjoy libations, then a lounge is often a good place. Dress up nice but not over the top formal, think open collar and sport coat type of thing.

If you live in Atlanta, Rooftop 866 is kind of what i'm getting at, its nice without being awkward. For dinner, go somewhere that you would be uncomfortable going in without a collar, but no violin quartet, silver platter, "very good sir" types of places.

This is the point where you need to show your continued interest and that you can be fun as a potential boyfriend, but like Will said, stay away from doing anything like giving jewelry.

Most importantly, be yourself and the rest will follow. Have fun.

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Permalink Reply by David F. on February 11, 2013 at 8:56am

I acknowledged it to my wife when where dating that I would not be doing anything for it.  I handled her expectations by letting her know that I loved her but would not get into the trap of the day, spending for too much and her being expected to reciprocate.  This only works if you give your love flowers and cards etc unexpectedly throughout the year. 

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Permalink Reply by LShieldes on February 11, 2013 at 9:59am

Make her dinner

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Permalink Reply by Michael L on February 11, 2013 at 7:24pm

Thanks, everyone.

Would asking her for her opinion be bad?

We agreed to go slow. And we need to mainly because I need to be sure of HER feelings. She's the one "trying out" more so than I. I am setting the pace and doing something for Valentine's Day would speed it up past where I think we should be.

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Permalink Reply by David F. on February 12, 2013 at 9:35am

It is never a bad idea to ask her opinion.  If she grows in your heart to be your life partner you need to be able to speak with your partner and trust her opinions. 

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Permalink Reply by Michael L on February 11, 2013 at 8:21pm

Okay. I talked to her about it. Half-tricked her into agreeing that the "pace" we are in is doing well and then said V-Day may interrupt the pace. She agreed. I will make the third date nicer than it would have been to compensate.

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Permalink Reply by The Tactical Gentleman on February 12, 2013 at 12:28am

Slow game, nothing wrong with that.

It's funny, no matter what suggestions get thrown out, following your gut typically results in the best outcome. Smart.

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Permalink Reply by Michael L on February 12, 2013 at 7:35pm

Thanks for the help.

How does a single red rose on the third date sound? I think I should do something to compensate. The third date is the 23rd.

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Permalink Reply by Rebekah on February 12, 2013 at 7:43pm

Pink or yellow rose, not red

Single red rose may say "I love you" too loudly, or may look like Valentine's leftovers.

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Permalink Reply by Michael L on February 13, 2013 at 7:15pm

Good suggestion. I think a pink rose would fit well. Thanks.

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